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Diary of a killer — Gangster longed to go out with woman
The writings of slain Stone Crusher Gang leader Cedric Murray
BY VERNON DAVIDSON Executive Editor — Publications davidsonv@jamaicaobserver.com
Friday, September 03, 2010
LONELINESS, love for his children and his woman, introspection, and a deep hatred for the police and politicians are the major highlights of the diary of slain Stone Crusher Gang leader Cedric Murray.
Excerpts of the diary, obtained by the Observer under the Access to Information Act, also indicated that Murray had some amount of remorse for his life as a gangster, even as he pledged — in a mixture of perfect and imperfect grammar — that he was prepared to die fighting.
"I say if I am ever cornered I shall fight until the end," Murray wrote in one entry. "But if death should befall me just remember while you murder me go home and look at your kids and wonder how perfect they are in a imperfect world. Will your child one day become what I have been accused of. Run along Mr and Miss perfect because you are just a vampire. You are worst than me."
In another entry dated July 14, 2008 Murray wrote: "Nothing has improved much. I am still living but my life feel wasted, this is no life for anyone but this is the real truth of a gangster in my condition, lonely and don't know who to trust."
Murray, also known as 'Doggie', was shot dead by police on August 12 in what the cops said was a gunfight near the border of Clarendon and Manchester. He was on the police list of Jamaica's 10 most wanted men for more than seven years.
According to the police, Murray was on the run since 2002 after he was accused of at least six murders committed in St James in previous years. He was also fingered in a triple murder at Felicity Road in Montego Bay in February 2006.
Police said that a Cigpro 9mm and the diary were taken from Murray's body, while the driver of the vehicle in which Murray was travelling escaped. Police believe he, too, was shot.
Entries in the diary suggested that Murray, who was from Montego Bay, was among the hundreds of gunmen police said were imported into Tivoli Gardens by Christopher 'Dudus' Coke to fight in his (Coke's) defence in May.
The security forces were preparing to arrest Coke, whose extradition on drugs and arms trafficking charges the Americans had sought.
But gunmen loyal to Coke had barricaded the entrances to Tivoli Gardens and had shot at police and soldiers as they sought to remove the barriers.
On May 24, after repeated requests from the security forces for the barricades to be taken down and for Coke to surrender, soldiers stormed the community, but came under heavy gunfire. The skirmishes, which lasted for three days, but decreased in intensity over the period, resulted in 73 persons -- among them a soldier -- being killed.
In his entry dated May 23-24, 2010 Murray wrote: "Days of the first sign of chaos in the West. Day of war (24) all hell broke loose more than we expect but yet still again babylon prove how they are even worst than the gunman."
Dating his next entry May 24, 2010, Murray wrote: "Invasion of Tivoli Garden by babylon the enemy, gun shots rang out from every conner of West Kingston and other places of KGN to protect the man Don of all Dons. Christopher Coke, AKA Dudus... The man they came after is till free and safe, my Don and friend alway. It was a raging gun battle a day I won't forget and such tragedy for Jamaica more than 75 people dies by babylon, man, baby and woman... Because their motive was all wrong I escape one of the last from where I was under crazy gun fire, but God grace, mercy brought me out untouched and my Don is free. I will always say Jim Brown, I am loyal to the Coke family and my guns will always be ready."
Murray also praised Coke, describing him as a "good" and "gentle man" and hurled abuse at Prime Minister Bruce Golding whom he labelled a "puppet" of the USA.
Added the gang leader: "I fired my AK until my finger was numb. I eat gun powder until my throat soar."
The gangster also expressed frustration at the fact that he was unable to go out to a movie with his woman, or to take her shopping because he was wanted by the police.
Said he in an entry dated September 13, 2009: "Today I felt a touch of envy in a positive way. I saw a man and his woman going out on a date. I just wish I could just go out with the love of my life."
Murray also expressed joy at the birth of his son on August 30, 2009, saying "the boy make my joyful. I am truly blessed. Despite our present struggle in my village we are standing. I love life, life is wonderful."
He named six children and a step-daughter for whom he expressed great concern and in a couple of entries spoke of how his lifestyle has damaged his relationship with his woman.
(More from the gangster's diary in your Sunday Observer)
 
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9/3/2010
These criminals think they must have their own way and live big, but failed to learn a trade and work for their honest living. So they lived by the gun and died by the gun at a young age. They just lived for nothing.
In Jamaica , most of these criminals never live to see the age of 24 years old, before the police shot them dead.
9/3/2010
Nicholas just remeber one thing there are many more psychopaths in our midst that we care to believe. You always seem to think that poor people shouldn't have children. Another thing Nicolas, register this somewhere in your cerebrum, the perpetrators of vicious crimes are sometimes victims themselves of a failed State like Jamaica has become. I wonder what you would say about some of our useless, parasitic politicians in JA.
R.Edwards NYC
betterlifeforjamaicans@yahoo.com
9/3/2010
There is quite a lot of people who had issues with their parents. A lot of us are even bitter about the opportunities being offered to us by the State, but not all of us decide to become murderers and rapists. We chose to try and do something positive no matter how hard it is. I am trying my best to be the best that I can be even when the devil is trying his best to derail that. Wake up Jamaica, we always have a choice, it is never easy but we fight on. Fire fi Satan's workers and sympathisers.
9/3/2010
This man was a christian and a church goer before until the murder of this mother changed him. so i guess thats the reasons why he still have some heart left.
9/3/2010
Education, opportunity/ employment and anyone's life is drastically different. There's no secret to what's needed to turn the country around, simply willing politicians to see to it that the country is headed in the right direction. Poverty knows no laws....
9/3/2010
The police needs to be saluted for placing their lives on the line everyday to rid the society of lazy,antisocial crime driven thugs.Poor working conditions high stress and low pay not to mention substandard working conditions.Imagine what jamaica would be like if the police was not killing and apprehending these criminals each year.Some yell about police brutality but in the same breath they yell for police protection.Police should do a complete sweep of the island from Portland point to Negril
9/3/2010
Natty Morgan made similar entries in the back of his pocket Bible as well. A soul could have been saved if this guy had a truly God-fearing father. The gangster life is indeed a lonely life, and when I was young, I too was drawn to it (like a moth to the flame); but, The Lord rescued me ... I lost connection with my father during that time as well. I've determined to be there at all times for my children.
9/3/2010
Six children? Here is a man who should have been sterilised at birth.
9/3/2010
deep inside every gangsta/killer there's a heart. sometimes it just takes someone special to bring it out... kids and women usually can do that. so sad all around......
9/3/2010
"Babylon yet again proved how they are worst than the Gunmen" Observer not telling all that is important. it seem they are just content to tell a tale. I am sure there must be some level of clarity with names and reasons he say they are worst. then again the observer might not get all the notes posted in the book. I hope some young men will now read and realise that there is no gain in fighting the fight of evil.
9/3/2010
Excerpts of this must be fed to the youngsters in juvenile centers to give them an idea of the negatives that this way of life brings. I feel so proud knowing that i am free to go wherever whenever with my woman.
9/3/2010
I believe that society has failed people like Cedric Murray. What I get from his comments in his diary is that gangsters need help but because they have gone down this violent path it is hard for them to detour. Society certainly does not provide any help in reaching out to them to rehabilitate them. Spiritual counselling is perhaps the best rehabilitation tool I can think of. Where is Rev. Al and Bishop Blair? Other social svcs. group could provide counselling to gang members.
9/3/2010
He loved life, yet he had no compunction in snuffing out others, some of whom he did not even know.
Good riddance to him and all the scum who perished in Tivoli in May Pity it wasn't more of them.
9/3/2010
Really? Life is good. I am sure the people he killed thought so too.
This fool was crazy. Man! He must have been the one the guy who sang "Confession Of A Killer" was referring to. He surely put him mout pon him.
9/3/2010
There was widespread skepticism regarding the authenticity of the alleged diary of the late gangster, but this article may have dislodged thoughts of fabricated inputs. Oh! I don't have any qualms with the JCF, but some wolves in sheep clothing,have tarnished the credibility of the force, hence JP's interest in the validation & verification of their (cops) stories.And some critics of this news paper may not see the significance of this article, but it can be used to dissuade potential gangsters.
9/3/2010
As my father said when he used to go to death row giving Bible study to those who wanted to hear "With true repentance, God can forgive anything, but you have to bear the penalties of man.". He even defended the right of a man on his way to the gallows, who said he was framed, to curse the Bible, and the hymns stop. . Stone Crusher ended up the way he chose to live, even if he had grouse, but his (stated) high regard for his lover and his family show humanity was alive. rESCUE JAYA YOUTH.
9/3/2010
Choices have consequences.
9/3/2010
sad ending. from the writings displayed this intelligent chap had the potential to produce excellent books.
9/3/2010
Mad ravings of a serial killer - a sociopath. His life was said to turn south after gunmen killed his mother - he clearly was damaged beyond repair there. He clearly needed psychological help. If only he'd had some guidance he could've been a positive leadership influence on society - he clearly had the personality for it. Can people see that this is what members of the current gov't were engaged in lobbying the U.S. gov't to protect - this status quo? Sick. Sad.
9/3/2010
What a unprotected life to waste. Where are our Fathers?
9/3/2010
It is time for us to rethink what we have previously believed about gangters and badmen. Jamaicans need to realise the benefits of supporting young persons to lead normal fulfilling lives even under abnormal and challenging circumstances. Both boys and girls, young women and men need to feel relax and unburden by societal woes. Simple acts like going to the movies goin for a date are very important in a modern progressive society along with peace and a sense of wellbeing we must provide for such
9/3/2010
this dude should get his own book his stories are so real
9/3/2010
I say arrest and charge the "woman" with harboring a fugitive. These women who stay with these men are not more that parasites. They are not ignorant of their men activities. I understand that they might be scare to leave but the say way the police who set up the dudus wiretap can get protection, these women may also get some protection.
This is chilling. Why would a young man choose such path for his children? I say eradicate these gangs.
9/3/2010
Jamaica read and understand what this man has said. I have spoken to many characters you could term hardened criminal and most say they do not like or want a life of crime. One guy in Kingston simple told me he can't take the crime and long for another life. I was ask with a far away look in his eye by another how is it in the UK is it a nice and enjoyable place. Jamaica wake up the young people do not want to go into crime it just overcome them and comsumes them, our people and JA must be saved
9/3/2010
Really.... looks like murderers do have feelings after all
9/3/2010
There is got to be a better way ... in this hypocrital system. Not defending the guy but our system make him believe there were no other choice. i really do feel sorry for his children and the stigma they will have to live with. i hope an pray that by the time they are young adults there will be real change in Jamaica. I do believe Change is on the way.
9/3/2010
Even while he calls himself a gangster, he refers to himself as being "blessed". This is where the confusion occurs in the minds of stonehearted killers when they read the bible with all the violence and murder that is commanded of the Israelites, and arrive at the conclusion that their own misdeeds are approved by God. some think taking along a special Psalms in their pocket will be a good luck charm, even if they plan to commit murder.
9/3/2010
Typical diary of a psychopath. Blame everyone, except themselves. There r some that will say "He was a toubled child that needed help". Parents r fully responsible for nuturing their children, not the STATE. I post many time over, that some people r children of "Sex terrorist". "DOGGIE" was one. A sex terrorist is a man that go from place to place & make children. They then leave the kids behind to terrorize citizens of a state. I hope his 6 kids won't be like him. GOOD RIDDANCE. "R.I.HELL.
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