All's fair in love and deception

All's fair in love and deception


Monday, July 06, 2020

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IT can be satisfying to know that we have dirt on someone, and sometimes the need to call them out on it or to win an argument is so irresistible that we don't see how dirty we got while digging. But all is fair in love and war, and there are no rules that say we need to be innocent before we can find someone else guilty.

It is not important to many of us whether we are guilty of the same sins that we preach against in our relationships and friendships – at least we are smart enough to know not to get caught. These readers share the times they called kettles black, knowing very well that they were pots.


Marie, 29, nail technician:

My boyfriend told me that he was a 'gallis' before he met me, and to this day it makes me very insecure. I'm not very proud of it, but I always use his past to judge him when we are having arguments, and bring up all the people he slept with. I had lied and told him that I only had three exes before him, but if I'm being honest, it was a lot more, and sometimes even more than one at a time.


Dean, 37, auto mechanic:

My ex-girlfriend and I were together for a long time, but I think we just grew apart and both wanted to leave. I was actually thinking of ways to break up gently, when she just blurted out one day that she couldn't do it anymore and she was tired of trying to make it work. I was relieved, but she started crying and apologising so much that I didn't say anything. She thought I was upset and hurt, and to be honest I kind of milked it for a while.

Kiera, 25, student:

My friend was seeing a married man and she would always confide in me when he made her feel like dirt, and I would always encourage her to get out of the situation and not be fooled by the money. She thought I was single but I could relate to what she was feeling most of the time because I was also a side chick, just that she knew the man I was seeing, low-key, so I couldn't tell her about him.


Shane, 32, barber:

I told my babymother that I was going to visit my relatives in the country one weekend, because I wanted to go to beach jouvert with just my friends, and I knew she would want to come. She said OK, and that she would just take the kids to Devon House the Sunday evening. At the party one of my bredrin told me that he saw somebody looking like her, but he wasn't sure. I left early and called her phone, and I heard soca music playing in the background. When she got home she confessed and I accused her of being sneaky.


Shanara, 29, nurse:

I was curious on Tinder, so I switched my preference from 'men' to 'women' because I wanted to see what other girls' profiles looked like. One of the first suggestions that popped up was my neighbour, who I never even thought was gay. Without even thinking how I would explain it, I took a screenshot and sent it to her on Whatsapp with the eye emoji. She said, “Yea I saw you too. Don't worry, you're not my type, though.” I was so embarrassed.

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