Burned by women, men vow to never love again

All Woman

Burned by women, men vow to never love again

Monday, August 03, 2020

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“A man's ego is so fragile, that once burned by a woman, it will be difficult for him to recover,” counsellor David Anderson posits. “And sometimes he is not even aware that his heart is on lockdown, but by his very actions going forward, nary a woman will be able to permeate his shell.”

Anyone who has been through heartbreak will tell you that there's no pain that's comparable, and while some people recover and are able to love again, others shut their hearts off for good.

Read the three stories below, and you may understand why these men were so hurt by women that they shut their hearts off forever.

Edward, 40, IT tech:

The incident happened when we were both teenagers — I was a Christian but she was not. I didn't really like her initially as I was focusing on other things, and she was already exposed to boys. But like a vixen she set her eyes on me, probably because I wasn't interested. We started to date and I became so invested that I would go to her school and wait for her everyday, and even began helping her sick grandmother with chores and accompanying the elder on errands. She then decided that she wanted to be intimate, but like I said, I was a Christian, and I was just not ready. Apparently she couldn't hold out, and one of the other boys in the area started courting her, promising her all the treasures in the world. I didn't even know that anything was going on, until one day a group of us was returning from a fair and heard some sounds in the bushes. It turns out it was the girl and her new guy. I cried for weeks because it wasn't just me who saw them, it was our whole group of friends, who teased me about not being able to give her what she wanted. I migrated a couple years after that, but to this day I stand by my vow to never love another woman again.

Donavan, 52, taxi driver:

Back in the day I ran a bus route from Kingston to Savanna-la-Mar, and on one of the trips I met a woman named Cutie. Now that should have been the first sign, because no woman with that name can be good for you. She tricked me somehow, because soon I was spending every weekend in Sav, and within no time we were married. My family was upset because I got married and didn't tell them, but I brushed them off. A year and a half later I got sick but no doctor could tell what was wrong, and the medication helped for a while, but then I'd get worse. I was bedridden for months, until I finally called my family. I told them my suspicions — that my wife was trying to poison me, and that she would mix up all kinds of greens which made me feel worse. My family came and took me to a pastor, who told them that my wife was the one who was making me sick. My family moved me back to Kingston and I was getting better, and soon changed my route to St Thomas. There I met a woman, built like a champion, and soon we were dating. She got pregnant and I had doubts about the paternity, because other men would call and she'd go missing for days. I almost went mad. She soon confessed that it wasn't my child, and after I moved back home again, I vowed to never trust another woman.

Eric, 28, teacher:

I'm divorced now, but the person you see today is so different from the man I was three years ago. I was happily married, and we had just bought a home in Old Harbour and were building our family. My ex wife had a child before she met me, and I took on the responsibility because the dad was not in the picture. Because we lived so far, in the week I'd stay with my parents in Kingston and go home on weekends. My wife and stepdaughter both worked and attended school in St Catherine, so it was easier for them to commute. Anyway, one day I got sick at work and decided to just drive home instead of going to my parents'. I didn't call ahead as my ex wife should have been at work and I didn't want to disturb her. When I arrived at the house my ex's car was there, as well as another car in my parking space. When I walked around the back of the house, it was a literal scene from Dirty Dancing — my ex was in leotards, this man was in gym wear, and they were grinding on each other. When I interrupted she tried to play it off as him being just her exercise coach, but after I threatened to leave her, she tearfully confessed that they had been having an affair for months. Though she begged me not to, I still left, because I could not understand how I was sacrificing so much for her to hurt me so badly.

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