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Common misconceptions about marriage


Monday, October 02, 2017


PEOPLE have many ideas about marriage, some of which are based on false expectations and flights of fancy. Some believe that the excitement and gaiety of their wedding day are an indication of future bliss, while others feel that their spouse is always responsible for making them feel better. Counsellor Violet Brown shares below some common misconceptions about the institution of marriage.


1. Sex gets boring after you get married

Many have heard that sex gets boring and might even stop after a few years of marriage. This is not necessarily true. There are many married couples who have sex more frequently than their single counterparts, Brown said.


2. Never go to bed angry

This is impractical. It is challenging to overcome some problems within a day. It takes time to get rid of some issues in a relationship. Couples attend relationship therapy sessions for months sometimes. Do not expect to solve all your problems before bedtime. Take the time to repair whatever damage has been done.


3. Marriage is a 50/50 partnership

Many people get stressed because they feel that their partners are not pulling their weight in the relationship. But there are times when your partner will be unable to play his/her part, for whatever reason, and you will have to step up and play a major role.


4. Your marriage will improve once you have a baby

Some couples in struggling relationships believe that a child is the answer, but be careful. When the baby comes, the problems will be magnified. If the relationship is rocky, it will continue to be rocky. You can't wave a fussy baby like a magic wand to make your problems disappear. If the relationship is good, it will continue to be good when the baby comes.


5. A marriage to someone who is financially challenged will not last

From a personal perspective, Brown says she opposes this belief. “Having celebrated my pearl anniversary, I can categorically denounce this myth. My partner has never had much money, but he is one of the best spouses in the world. I would not exchange him for a millionaire. We love each other unconditionally,” she said.


6. It's a gamble to marry someone much less educated than you

Throughout the ages the educated have been marrying the uneducated, and some have shared a long and lasting love. True love will bond them, and the former will educate the latter if he or she has true potential, Brown said.