Flirting fails

All Woman

IT'S 2019 and women are not waiting for anything to come to us — not the jobs, not the opportunities, not even the men. We are stepping up to them boldly and making our intentions clear. We are confident, we are beautiful and we are shooting our shots… admittedly, some of us more than others.

While only a few courageous women have the guts to even step up to the three-point line, an even smaller fraction of us actually score. These women below share how they were benched after trying to shoot their shots but even failed to hit the backboard.

Tanya, 27, sales agent:

I was in the line in KFC in Half-Way-Tree once and I noticed this handsome police officer was just standing there and watching me, but trying not to seem obvious. I had just done my hair and lashes, so I felt really pretty and was basking in the attention. After I ordered, I decided to go over to him and ask, “Are you enjoying the view, officer?” He gave me a puzzled look. It was at that moment that I realised it wasn't a police uniform. He was the security guard for the store and he was just watching the line. For all I know, he probably had his eyes on me because he thought I was going to steal some chicken.

Stacy, 32, early childhood educator:

My friend convinced me that a man who always comes to deliver lunches at our workplace was into me. I didn't even like him, but she kept joking about it and I was single so I thought I had nothing to lose. One day as he was delivering my meal I deliberately brushed my hand on his and smiled. He didn't notice so I decided to run a risk. I noticed that despite being average height he had big feet so I said, “I like your shoes. Is it true what they say about men with big feet?” He laughed and replied, “But yours don't look far from mine, miss. So what dem say about big foot woman?”

Karen, 31, human resource officer:

I had a crush on a guy at work who everyone knew was in a long-term relationship. Everyone except me, clearly. He was very nice towards me, so I thought he was into me, too. One day we were stranded on a corridor together waiting for the rain to stop so we could get to the other side of the compound. After some light banter I said, “With beautiful weather like this, we're clearly stranded together at the wrong place.” He didn't even take his eyes off the rain. He said, “The place isn't an issue for me, but there is only one person I ever want to be stranded with, and she is probably at work stuck with strangers too.”

Shanice, 26, student:

I heard one of the lecturers in my faculty was a flirt, and he was definitely a catch. I never missed his lectures or tutorials, but I still didn't catch most of the lessons because I was too busy daydreaming and being a teacher's pet. He was very charming towards me, and my friends swore I would get an A+ because I was clearly one of his favourites. I was mortified when I failed the course! I'm not even going to make eye contact with him this semester when I re-sit. Devil!

Kejona, 29, registered nurse:

After months of getting what I thought were signals of interest from a doctor I work with, I finally decided to shoot my shot and ask him out. I never saw him dating anyone and he always noticed when I wore something cute or did my hair and such. I was positive that he was into me, but upon approaching him he apologised for leading me on and said I'm beautiful and sweet but I'm just not his type. I went home to play detective on social media and that's when I saw what his type was — apparently he has a thing for muscular men.

Roneisha, 24, dental assistant:

I once told a guy that I liked him, and he had the nerve to ask “Why?” I told him I didn't know, I just felt drawn to him for some reason. He was just there, so amazed that I liked him, and not saying anything back to fan the fire. I just humbly took my L and moved on with my day.

Sherry, 40, PR officer:

I met a tall, handsome, well-read man on a bus a few years ago. We had pleasant conversation and he complimented me on my bone structure and flawless skin, saying I could be a model. I told him it used to be a dream of mine and he told me he had a friend who would gladly do a photo shoot with me if I gave him my number. I thought he was just trying to be clever and get my number without asking, so I said, “Nice try, but you're gonna have to work a little harder than that”. Picking up on my assumption he blurted out, “God, no... I would never... My wife doesn't play those games”.

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