Friends can break your heart too

Friends can break your heart too


Monday, January 25, 2021

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WE are often warned to guard our hearts against the sting of heartbreak in matters of romance but with friendships not so much. Perhaps because we trust our old friends even more than transcient lovers, or we think they can't hurt us as much, but some of the deepest relationships we have are platonic, and for most of us these are our safe havens. We blissfully, unashamedly spill our guts, speak our truths, and lay our secrets bare without of fear of judgement or betrayal.

But while in the hands of the right friends we feel protected, letting our guards down can sometimes come with a hefty price – heartbreak. These readers are all too familiar with that feeling.

Lillieth, 40, police officer:

My childhood friend turned out to be a she-devil. Some years ago she reached out to me; she was out of work and needed an income. She said that instead of paying a helper and still having to help her (financially), she would do some days work for me. She also asked me to check if other people needed a similar service. I found a few people who did. The commute from the country every day would have been too much, so I told her she could stay at my house when she needed to. I soon realised that she and my husband has got chummy. He was giving her things for her and her kids outside of me tipping her. Normally, I wouldn't be on alert but the body language said something to me. About seven months into the job she said she would need to cool down on work a bit because she felt her children's father had got her pregnant again. I told her to take as much time as needed and continued to help her. My husband, by this time, started putting in extra time working to make me happy. I knew something was up, just not what. This continued for about two more months until another friend from the country called me to tell me the child the woman was carrying was my husband's. I confronted them both, and they fessed up eventually. I cut her off completely and had my husband move into another room. I heard she lost the baby at about five months. She tried reaching out several times, but I want nothing to do with her.

Munchy, 33, teacher:

Five years ago a teacher joined staff and we developed a good friendship. Last year, she said she needed to pay up some money for her son and was considering taking a loan to do this because she didn't want him to miss his exams. She said she would repay me as soon as she received her retroactive payment from the Government. I felt comfortable standing guarantor for the loan, since she was my friend. She made two payments on a $330,000 loan and as soon as the financial institution contacted me and I checked in to see what was happening after months of non-payment, she blocked me and disappeared off social media. The school has not heard from her and her landlord said that she moved out. As it is, I am half a million in debt on my meagre teacher salary with my three children. Last I heard was that she found some man and is in the States with no intention of returning. I am stumped. I have not been able to see through any of it. My children's father is deceased and I have no help... she knows it all and still she does this to me, my heart has been broken into a million pieces. I just never thought she would do this to me.

Kimar, security guard, 30:

I am with this older woman who really 'check' for me. She didn't know that I had a bona fide girl or anything. When she started doing more and more things for me, a good friend of mine (who I got the security work and everything for) link up with the old lady and told her about my woman. The lady used some big words pan mi seh mi disingenuous and I have betrayed her and I am an opportunist and those words deh. When I confronted him, the man only seh “Jah know” and a pretend him don't have a clue about anything. He was trying to kick away my foot, but the lady didn't like how he did the 'work'. She called me and told me everything and that she missed me and all. From that day I just have him off, I don't even make him know say me and the lady start link back. This man was my real G, grow up with him and them things, eat out of the same pot. Nothing never too good to give him or do for him, but the man is a wolf in sheep clothing.

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