YOU have found yourself trapped in a loop — while you have no problem attracting or scoring dates, things never seem to progress past the dating stage. As it turns out, relationship counsellor Wayne Powell said that often these disappearing acts being pulled off by your suitors have everything to do with you and some rectifiable mistakes that you're making.
Unsure what you may be doing that scares them off? Powell shares some views.
You came on too strong
If you come on too strong — you skip the introductory parts of your relationship to planning weddings and baby names — it can be quite overwhelming for your date and so after the first date he may never call or return your calls because the first impression was too frightening.
You lack the smarts
Nobody is saying that you need to spend the entire date locked in the Queen's language, but especially when in a formal setting you want to engage your brain before you speak and try to speak well.
“If when you open your mouth to speak in public you not only embarrass yourself, but you also embarrass him with your bad grammar and lack of knowledge of current affairs, he might find it to be a deal-breaker,” Powell advised.
You come with added financial burdens
The truth is, many men do not mind gifting you, but that doesn't mean you should take advantage of their generosity.
“More men are pulling the plug on potential relationships because women always seem to be in need and want them to buy something for them. This might make a man feel like he is adopting a child rather than pursuing a life partner,” Powell said.
You are vulgar
He doesn't have a problem with you getting a little loud — when you speak or laugh — but if this laughing or any other expression of yourself is raucous, especially in the presence of his family and friends, this can be a big turn-off.
You fail to maintain basic personal hygiene
You have a pretty face, gorgeous body, and even a bomb personality, but your body odour and bad breath leave much to be desired. This is a great turn-off.
We get it, you want to get better acquainted and you want to know as much as you can about him in a short time, but calling him morning, noon and night and wanting him to be around you 24/7 might make him see you as a leech.
You use profanities excessively
He might not mind his guy friends using expletives to punctuate every next sentence, but few men don't mind a woman who does the same. If your mouth could use some soap and water as you tend to spew foul language with regularity, find replacement words for curse words because no man wants a foul mouthed partner.
You are addicted to a substance
There are some lifestyle choices such as drinking and/or smoking heavily that might put a man and his friends to shame. Therefore, if he realises it's a habit that cannot be easily curbed, he is likely to keep stepping.
You dress skimpily
Many men like the idea of watching a half-naked or skimpily clad women on the street; when it becomes a problem is if the woman that they desire dresses similarly and leaves nothing to the imagination, or always seems to want to flaunt her body invitingly. Men often prefer that this kind of attire and body language be left for the privacy of the home.
You are classless
He likes your vibe and he really would want to try to make things work, but every time he is around you tend to display “sketellish” behaviour. This can be a big turn-off as he wouldn't want to introduce a woman like this to family or friends.
You act like you're better than him
Men don't always bring a bigger slice of pie to the table, and now, more than ever, it is likely for women to be more educated, earn much more than the man, and be in a higher social class than him. However, if you let him know in no uncertain way that you wear the pants and call ALL the shots, he is likely to go ghost on you.
You are insecure
You tend to engage in gossiping, including about your relationship or past relationships, and you also find pleasure in snooping and checking his phone (religiously). He will run, trust us.
You are not trustworthy
You always have a story, and even if he finds out that there may be some truth to your narrative, if he also finds out that you have stretched the truth (and it has become habitual), and then of course there is the twin sin of sticky fingers, he won't trust you with his time.