THOUGH we don't like to admit it, many women treat relationships like 'pardna' — some don't mind getting the last draw, while others want the first hand paid upfront and in full. Many of us feel as if once we invest our time, skills and bodies into a relationship, whether official or not, we should be compensated monetarily.
Sometimes we get our 'pardna' draws without a hitch, but other times, as these women will tell you, we are scammed — tricked, bamboozled and hoodwinked.
Shari, 30, PR officer:
I dated an elderly man for six months. I was literally acting like a geriatric nurse or a helper because he was in his 70s and all his kids were abroad. I ran errands, did laundry, the works. I even let him put his wrinkly hands all over me and kiss me without his dentures. I could tell he had money and I was just playing my role and waiting for him to send on. But after six months of no funds, no matter how I complained that I was broke, I had to let him go. He clearly wanted a live-in helper, not a young girl.
Keriece, 27, physical therapist:
A guy at work was into me one time but I wasn't feeling him so I was always turning him down. One day I overheard some co-workers talking about salaries, and it sounded like he was making way more than I was, so I decided to try a thing for myself. He took me out once and I endured his terrible personality, and just tried to keep my eyes on the prize. I told him that I had a medical appointment the next day and the cost, and that I didn't even know how I was going to get there, let alone pay the medical bill. He said, “Don't worry, I got you”. So I went back to his place and gave it up the same night. The next day he came to my desk saying I should let him know the time of my appointment so he could give me the ride he promised to the doctor's office. I just told him it was cancelled.
Kenia, 26, student:
My friend was telling me how she hooks up with a new guy from Tinder every weekend just for the free food and drinks, and sometimes they give her money to shop and do her hair and stuff, so I decided to try it. I don't know what exactly I was doing wrong, but somehow all the guys I matched with only wanted to meet up at my place or theirs to 'chill'. The one time a guy actually asked me out to somewhere decent, he let me know when I was ordering that he would “honour” me as his “equal' by splitting the bill.
Sonya-Kay, 32, entrepreneur:
I hardly ever date men with kids, especially when the children are small and live with them, because it's just too much stress, but I decided to give this one a chance because he drove a high-end car and seemed to have “it”. He had a son and a daughter and said their mom had passed away, but he had a helper who cared for them. We started talking and before I knew it I was not only his woman, but I was combing his daughter's hair, doing homework with the kids, and making them meals. For free! All this was done at my house because he said he didn't think they were ready to see a woman in their mother's place yet. One day I was combing the little girl's hair and she said she had a secret to tell me. It turned out their mother was abroad working and it was her money that was financing them all.