I'm helping the love of my life plan his wedding

I'm helping the love of my life plan his wedding

Monday, August 10, 2020

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THE nuptials are set for mid-September; the location has been booked, the DJ verified, décor agreed on, and the invitations sent out. The event promises to be a small, romantic coming together of family and friends in an intimate setting, made even more intimate by the groom's uncle officiating.

Alisa tells All Woman that it's going to be a small affair — around 50 people total — and everything has been meticulously planned by herself and the groom, her childhood sweetheart.

The bride is due to arrive on the island soon to sign the final legal documentation, and after her quarantine, the couple will tie the knot.

“I'm helping the love of my life plan his wedding,” Alisa revealed.

She says she is not sure that she will go as far as to attend the wedding, though her partner has asked her to.

“For the last couple months I have thrown myself into planning the wedding for him, with him, but I don't know if I can make that final commitment to him by being there, and watch him marry someone else,” she says. 

It's for the opportunity

The marriage, as far as she explains, will offer the entire family — including the extended family — an opportunity they would never get if their status quo remains as is.

Jeremiah, the groom, has been struggling to find quality employment in Jamaica, and having studied overseas, has always itched to live in a more developed country. Though his mother also lives in the US, she is not in a position to offer him residency, and marriage seems to be the best bet.

“It will be the best thing for our family,” Alisa says. “We have everything meticulously planned out, and like he always has, Jeremiah will come through.

The wife-to-be isn't quite au fait with the details of the union, nor does she know who Alisa really is, but as Alisa explains, she is also getting something from the arrangement.

“They've known each other for years, having met in college, and their families are close, but she doesn't know about me,” Alisa said. “She has a disability, and she and Jeremiah have always been close. She wants to get married and have a child, and she's getting up in age, so he's willing to give her the child she needs, and the stability she needs, and then later on make way for me to be with him.”

“Everyone understands that we're all making a sacrifice for the ultimate good,” Alisa says. “There's nothing here for us, and I see this as a way to get out of this stagnant situation that we're in.” 

Not exactly a business marriage

“I wouldn't exactly call this one a business marriage, but it's a situation that more people than you'd imagine find themselves in,” said Counsellor David Anderson.

“The fact is that marriages are not necessarily entered into for love so much anymore, as for the opportunities that the parties can gain from the union.”

He cautions Alisa that she should prepare to get hurt, “because matters of the heart aren't as cut and dry as we'd want most times, and life can throw a spoke into the wheel of our best laid plans”.

“But,” said Alisa, “what's the difference between what I'm doing and what countless other women do when they accept that their men live double lives, and do things to hurt them, like cheat? At least I get to be the writer, actor and director in my own play, so I get to decide how the story ends.”

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