Laying down the law

All Woman

LAW enforcement officers have been given a bad rap in the dating arena, primarily because of the doings of some of their colleagues. Angry, jealous womanisers and cheaters are but few of the descriptors women have assigned to them.

What doesn't help their case is that in recent weeks law enforcement officers have been in the news, and not because they have been doing an exceptional job at serving and protecting. Instead, they have become a casualty of being human — angered to the point where they acted irrationally on discovery of their territories being treated as playgrounds.

But is this kind of impulsive behaviour indicative of the way lawmen generally operate in their relationships? All Woman asked women who lie down with law enforcement officers to share what it is like dating these men.

Mickaela, 24, university student:

I love a man in uniform; I think that is why I am always drawn to them. But they have toxic traits — the worst of the sins is that they are liars, they are crafty when it comes to leading double lives, and they never have money. They are always going to work on 'a thing', and it is all because they have to split the money so many ways because of all the women they have. Now, because of this, you have to worry about seeing them on mix-up pages. I will not be called a 'yam head'.

Jody-Ann, doctor:

My ex-boyfriend, who was my high school crush whom I'd reconnected with, decided he wanted to make things clear to me about his level of commitment. He emptied the rounds from his gun (not in my presence), held my hand when we got on the bus, and in the midst of a good talk, held my palm open to put the bullets inside. He then pressed my fingers close then stared me dead in the eyes and said, “This is how serious I am if you ever cross me. I can't share, honey”. We had dated for seven months and that was the last I saw of him for a very long time because by the next morning I called and told him I was ending things. I went away so things could smooth over, then returned home later.

Shedene, 34, sales representative:

They are womanisers with a capital W. So I constantly wait to see which unknown number is going to ring my phone, and I'm constantly wondering which one of the calls will be someone informing me that he has fathered a child outside of the marriage.

Donna, 36, nurse:

I don't worry about many of the things that other women worry about like them being womanisers or getting caught in the wrong place, as is so common these days. I worry more about if he is going to come home. He is brave and he is very sacrificial as a person and in his job, so I worry that he will not come home, especially because he works in an area where crime rates are high.

Antonette, 29, hairstylist:

My man is very controlling — I think most police and soldiers have this about them because both my other exes worked in law enforcement. I would say that they are scared of being out of control because they are so used to being in charge.

Timone, 38, radiologist:

I worry about him getting home, so you know I get nervous if I see the telephone number of the station to which he is assigned call. I worry that I am getting some bad news, so nights are restless for me when he works the night shift. Then there are other things like how angry he has become since he has been in there and even my brother's (who is also a police officer) girlfriend has the same concerns about anger. Outside of those things I can't say that dating him is any different from dating any other person from another profession. Well, except of course the pocket kinda weak, but that doesn't bother me.

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