MARRIAGE, as we know it, is the supposed pinnacle of romance. And while wedding bells, a big diamond ring and all the other shenanigans are in keeping with societal expectations of love and commitment, more people are choosing to dance to a different tune — staying clear of the altar.
Why are fewer people validating their commitment through marriage? All Woman readers share why saying “I do” is the last thing on their minds.
George, 37, taxi driver:
I'd rather stay alone, there are too many wicked people on earth, man! Nowadays marriage is to make money. A woman will come and see you with your things, have a one or two youth (children) for you, and when she leaves she wants to take everything. To make matters worse, some stay home the whole relationship, and many times not even some hot dinner you'll get even though you're out there looking money every day for them. Another reason why I wouldn't get married is that I don't trust these women and insurance money. The other day I was watching the news and saw a story of a woman paying a man to kill her husband for insurance money. Women are too wicked!
Jackie, 33, masseuse:
I am not sold on the idea of marriage, at least not yet. I am very careful and when you tie yourself to someone you also take on their baggage, like their debt. What if he isn't upfront and I inherit that?
Richard, 41, truck driver:
If I ever mention wedding to my woman she would make me squeeze money all out of my peephole. Weddings are too expensive and knowing my girl, she is going to want to go overboard and my money at this point is really for investments.
Mark, 29, teacher:
These days marriage is more about the wedding day than the marriage. I don't want to be a victim of that. Women these days say yes because they want a big ring, they want to marry before their friends, and they want the title of Mrs. However, very few are still willing to carry out wifely duties with the same passion, even though they still expect that you are the breadwinner. And even if you share household financial responsibilities to an extent, they expect you to shower them with presents so they can boast on social media.
Sharon, 45, attorney-at-law:
I am not open to marriage for several reasons, and it is both to protect myself and any possible suitor. I wouldn't get married because I work very hard for my money and I do not want to lose it, whether it is that he has debt, or would swindle money if he gets access to my account. I don't want children — well, my biological clock barely has any tick in it anyway, and I have no interest in adopting. Another fact is that I am very committed to my job and my clients, which is why I decided to forego motherhood. In the same breath, I don't want a man to be telling me every day that I am choosing my job over him, so that is another reason. I also have some things that I don't want to compromise on, including my faith, and so I don't want to hear that I am selfish. As a single woman I can do as I please and I am grateful for the freedom.
Gary, 37, engineer:
I don't want to get married because I don't see why I need a piece of paper to prove my commitment. Also, I don't want to get married just to be asked for a divorce a few years in, and the woman, as part of the divorce settlement, will want more of my money. Marriage seems like a big financial mumbo jumbo and I would rather use the money to feed people and help some children get access to good quality education.