Moms tell why they secretly resent their children's mates

By PENDA HONEYGHAN

Monday, September 10, 2018

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MOTHERS-IN-LAW are often stereotyped as meddling, controlling and judgemental — outright difficult to exist alongside. And while in some instances this may be true, some mothers-in-law have reasoned that there is a method to their madness, acknowledging that they are/were highly critical of their daughters and sons-in-law because of their actions. Below, these mothers-in-law explain why.

Cathleen, 50, financial advisor:

My daughter has been through plenty and when this fellow came into her life he seemed genuine, but it didn't take long to find out that this man wasn't serious about life — he still desires to go to parties, wild adventures, and is still not sure about his career or has plans/goals for the future. He is still a child in my view and at 30 people need to prepare to settle down and build a life. I am happy my daughter is realising this more and more.

Monica, 49, nurse:

I don't like my daughter's husband because he is manipulative and a big spender. He wants to live lavishly from my daughter's hard-earned money. He is also a cheater and master manipulator and my heart pains me for my beautiful baby and how insecure he has made her. She can't let go no matter what he puts her through and of course it bothers me that I have to pretend to like him just to make her happy.

Hilary, 54, custodian:

From the first time that man put his hand on my daughter I have never liked him. What made it even worse is that afterwards she came to me saying she provoked him, which means she was basically saying that she deserved it and it was okay. Then when I hear how people say that he talks to her even in public, it grieves me to know that is not how I raised my child yet she chooses to be someone's doormat.

Elaine, 61, business owner:

My son grew up to be quite gentlemanly — even though many people call him soft. I was confident he would make a good husband and father, but he had a way of going for women who would kind of control him so I went to God and I had to summon heaven for a wife for my son, and you know he did. But I was still suspicious at first. Was she there for the money? Was she going to hurt my son like the other women before? Would she treat him with the love and respect he gave her? As a mother, you have to be concerned about whom your child ends up with because there are so many wolves in sheep's clothing that come to destroy your children's life.

Sharon, 46, store manager:

Initially I didn't have a reason to read my son-in-law; my daughter seemed happy and he came off as a decent young man. Then one day while at their home I overheard him speaking to his mom and I was horrified. His tone and language were unacceptable. He could not have been talking to the same woman who my daughter had said made so many sacrifices for him. I could just imagine the interaction between him and my daughter in my absence and I was scared for her. I soon began to notice other things like his unwillingness to be helpful around the house — he was messy and on the controlling side. He does not deserve my daughter, but you can't choose for them you just have to pray and give them the best advice and pray they cut themselves from toxic people.

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