|Flirting while in a relationship is disrespectful.
CHANCES are, if you have to sneak around to be intimate or to maintain a relationship with someone, then it's likely that you're making a poor choice in love. Many of us have been guilty of this sin — a love that's unwise, inappropriate, or just plain wrong. All Woman asked readers who admit that they fell for the wrong person to share their stories.
S, 36, food chemist:
I was in grade 11, a straight-A student at the time, and before this all I ever really thought was that classmates were cute and my interest would end there. Then a new biology teacher came to the school and I don't know what it was, but my skin caught fire and the attraction was mutual. I saw the way he would stare at me, and always pick conversations with me, then one day I was sneak-reading my inappropriate romance novel and he took it away. This was his in, and like a fish I took the bait. Like I predicted, this hunk of a man in his chino pants, his shirt hugging his arm muscles, did not stutter when he told me he would give me the book one term — if I made him 'hit it'. I had finally got the attention of a man whose attention I really wanted to have. Lucky for us both it wasn't uncommon for me to stay back to work on extracurricular stuff, so our frequent rendezvous went undetected. For about three years after I left the school we were still hooking up — hands down he is still my best sexual partner to date.
GS, 26, teacher:
It was my first year of university, innocence still intact, and I heard about a work and travel programme — a way to make some good money. Anyway, I got through and travelled and I found a church close to where I lived and worked. It didn't take long for something to spark between one of the deacons and myself, and he was an absolute romantic and so when he offered to teach me Bible studies I accepted. Within a month of being there, at the end of one of the sessions on a Monday evening, on our way out of the study room he grabbed my butt — and he let his hands linger. With my nod of approval, he took me to the side of the church (I didn't want to go inside). He had his way with me and it was the most painful, yet amazing experience. I don't regret trading my innocence that night. We still remain friends.
AF, 32, nurse:
My best friend and I got split up in the ninth grade. Her parents thought that she needed to refocus in a new environment in order to perform better academically. This really hit us hard and so we started hanging out at her house. Her parents were often away and by this time we were 15 or 16 so we could manage on our own. One day though, her adult cousin came by and she was really cool. Anyway, one thing led to the next and I honestly can't recall exactly how we moved from her showing us gay porn to us actually acting out the scenes. I still hear myself begging for more, and I still recall my best friend keeping me 'high' by attacking just about every weak spot that I had. But it was her cousin who won my heart. I continued going there and when I was old enough, I'd go to the cousin's place even long after I had found a boyfriend.
Ash, 36, medical personnel:
Most of what I know about sex I learnt from a good friend's father and everytime I am around his wife, even now I feel guilty. So we were preparing to go to college, and my friend's dad found out that out of our group of five, I was the only one who could not drive. It didn't matter to me because there was no way I was getting a car; my parents couldn't afford it, which was a very different situation from my friends. When he found out he first offered to teach me to drive, and he had plenty of experience in the area so it was a breeze. Anyway, chatting and laughing turned into much more when he decided to put his hand up my dress, and grabbed my vajayjay. It felt amazing and the fact that I have a thing for older guys didn't help either. I could feel myself slipping deep in sin as he pressed his lips against the lobe of my ear while simultaneously flicking my nipples but I could not stop him. One thing led to another, and as soon as he could find parking in a discreet area, I was on top of him. I begged him to be gentle, and I don't think that man knew to be anything but that. I spent the next couple of months sharing sweet stories about my man to my friends. He became not just a great secret lover, but he supported me financially so I didn't have to be a financial misfit among my friends. He even helped me to get a car for doing so great at the driving lessons, as well as for being class valedictorian.