IT'S like second nature — the moment we meet someone and are getting acquainted we are tempted to ask, “What do you do?” A person's occupation is a major factor for many people when choosing a partner, and for many it's not just about financial security, it's about the propensity for habits like cheating.
What professional men do women say they would never date? What do they expect from men in certain occupations? And what are some of the craziest expectations that men have had women demand of them based on their careers? We sought responses from the people below.
Mara 26, business administrator:
I would date an engineer and a chef. I stay away from doctors. I would say an engineer because they make good money, which would ensure the kids and I are taken care of, and he would still be able to make it home for dinner. He would also likely be a good or natural problem solver and he would be able to help me manage things around the house, because I would expect that he is good at logistics – he would be the perfect handyman. A chef, on the other hand, because I love food and I want a man who will introduce me to every cuisine.
Mona, 34, guidance counsellor:
I would date a man once he is earning a decent living, but if I had the choice, I would say men in business like a marketing manager, a business executive or a chef. I would never date a mortician, funeral director, embalmer, policeman, and definitely not a doctor, because they tend to get super busy and I love attention. Also, a study showed that some doctors are obsessed with the idea of using their spouses to carry out certain experiments. I also love soldiers — I would expect him to be disciplined, take things seriously, and value family. The businessman should have good financial discipline, effectively manage family money matters, and as for the chef, I would expect to be fed healthy, high-quality meals and be surprised now and then with candlelight dinners.
Sashana, 31, health inspector:
I love men in uniform, soldiers particularly, because they exert a certain level of discipline. They are fit and firm and they are usually very macho. I would never date a taximan, conductor or truck driver.
Ren, 23, university student:
While I am not quick to judge, I would never date a policeman. But I love army men for some reason. I really am not limited to any particular profession, though. The man just has to be self-sufficient (he doesn't have to provide for me, but I don't want to have to provide for him). I must admit that I love army men because they are generally disciplined, toned and sexy, and this gives me a feeling of physical security.
Danielle, 23, journalist:
I don't really have a preference. Once he is earning honestly, I am fine, but let's just say I am more attracted to men neatly dressed in suits rather than uniforms. Whatever career it is, I expect discipline, responsibility, respect and other fine qualities of a good man.
When choosing my partner, his profession isn't a major factor for me. I just look for a man of good character. I don't expect anything based on a man's profession, I expect that as a human being and gentleman he would know how to treat a lady — he will be able to show respect and offer stability.
Oddaine, 27, accountant:
Each woman has her own completely legitimate set of criteria that she demands from her spouse based on occupation, and most women seem to see dollar signs when I say I'm an accountant. The unanimous expectation is that you must always have money and never be broke since you're dealing with money; that you must be able to spend it wisely, and some even go as far as taking you for a walking calculator. But I strongly believe that relationship expectations in general should be based on trust, love, stability, maturity, and good communication, not on occupation.
Roderick, 30, lecturer:
One, they seem to expect me to know just about everything, they expect me to be one who flaunts [my intelligence]; they expect that I never use my pidgin (broken language) and they also think that I am loaded because I work with a university.
Gary, 36, policeman:
Women tend to think that all policemen are cheaters and so I cannot get peace in any relationship. They expect that you will know the ways around bailing out their crazy family members when they get into trouble, and they expect you to pull your gun at their every convenience.
Jamar, 43, sous-chef:
She thinks that I want to be cooking all the time because I am a chef. Most times when I get home, the kitchen is the last place I want to be. She expects me to go to the market with her because I know the difference in all foods – what will be good and what will be bad.
Shamar, 29, tradesman:
Sometimes women expect you to make blood out of stone; they think and expect you to know everything about building — even when it's plumbing and electrical. Where a man might just have a basic knowledge of something, they expect you to give their friends house plans and those things, like they see architect beside my name!
Kevin 25, soldier:
One woman that I dated briefly asked me why we needed to have a security system and a pit bull since I am a soldier! Apparently, I am the entire army.