MANY of us have a list of qualities that we hope our partners and even our relationships will embody. And many of us also note things that we pray that we will never encounter. Discovering even one of these deal-breakers in a romantic partner can cause so much unhappiness that it completely ruins your relationship with someone who was otherwise perfect.
All Woman asked a few readers to share qualities that will automatically disqualify a partner from being the leading men or ladies in their lives.
Sherene, 33, nurse:
Have you seen the HIV rates in St Catherine recently? If you have, then you would understand why cheating is a deal-breaker for me. If he cheats and I don't get a disease I am lifting my hands to God and keeping it moving. I am sure nothing is wrong with me, and I won't be disrespected.
Ally, 28, teacher:
I met this guy about a year ago. I was drawn to him because of his personality. Anyway, we started talking and I realised that he would always call after I sent a text, or just wouldn't respond to texts and only used voice notes. One day I told him I couldn't talk so he would need to text because I was in a meeting. His grammar was atrocious! I found myself trying to decode what he was trying to say to me and still came up with blanks. He didn't even know basic English.
Michelle, 51, business owner:
A no-no for me in relationships has always been breaking trust — whether this is cheating, lying, or betraying me in any other way. For example, one time I caught my partner of two and a half years speaking ill against me with his mother. His excuse was he just wanted her to know that he respected her enough to tell her everything. In short, I told him he needed to be with his mother since he obviously had no respect for me.
David, 32, police officer:
I left my ex when I found out just how much debt she had. My head still hurts when I remember that I wanted to marry that woman, completely oblivious to what I would be agreeing to take on. Debt, especially when you are too deep in, is definitely a deal-breaker.
Kevin, 34, labourer:
What I will not tolerate is a licky-licky woman. I do my best to provide for my woman and my family, but I was in a situation where because this woman (who does not work) wanted to live outside of her means she constantly went into our — which was really my savings — to do things like her hair and nails every week and go to parties. She was also taking things from another man. When I found out, she told me she was just taking his things but that was it, and while I really didn't find any evidence of her cheating, the fact that she was taking a man's things carried the same amount of disrespect to me.
Thalya, 29, pharmacy technician:
If you are abusive in any way at all I am out. I learnt the hard way how devastating verbal abuse can be. I saw it with my own mother and as soon as I realised that my ex was starting to slide abusive language into conversations, I kindly took myself out of it. I will not allow a generational curse to follow my generation. One more thing that is definitely not up for discussion is a man who can't commit. Leave me alone! I would prefer to be single than be a side chick, or a wife who pretends not to know that her spouse is being unfaithful.
Omar, 43, mechanic:
I don't want any woman who does not know how to do the basics. I am a provider and if I can't get some clean, ironed clothes; a good home-cooked meal; and come home to someplace tidy, then that definitely cannot work.