YOU may have heard tales of spiteful women keeping children away from their dads, spending child support money on hair and nails, and starting arguments with the daddy's new girlfriend, haven't you? Well if you thought bitter baby mamas came with drama, you're in for a show with these baby daddies!
Many women will tell you that after a relationship goes south, they would prefer to bear the financial burden of raising a child alone just for their sanity. Why? Because of those fathers who seek to use the children to manipulate, control or gain access to the mothers — the ones who cannot bear to see them happy again, whether by themselves or with other men. They are the baby daddies from hell.
These women have learned the hard way that lying with dogs doesn't always give you fleas. Sometimes it's the dog itself that you just can't seem to shake off.
Meisha, 28, entrepreneur:
He was very abusive and controlling, but I guess he never thought that I would leave him since we share a child together. When I finally decided to walk away he started telling people in the community that he left me because I have a STD. I moved away and he is still finding ways to haunt me. He called me some time ago saying he wanted to bring some stuff for his son, but it was just because he wanted to know where I live. Since then he has been stalking my house to see if I have a man. A friend of mine dropped me home one night and by the time I got inside it was him calling and saying, “So a cause me nuh drive CRV mek yuh nuh want me again?”
Kerry, 27, admin assistant:
My baby daddy is a good father, but he seems to think the baby and I are a combo. I left him because I found out that he was cheating on me while I was pregnant and I told him I still want him to be in his child's life, just not mine. But it has always been one or the other. Either he comes by and plans to spend the night, or he doesn't come by at all. Sometimes I just give in because I really don't want my child to grow without a father, and the sex was really the best part of our relationship.
Sheryl, 30, customer care representative:
My baby daddy constantly cheated on me and treated me terribly while we were together, even when I was pregnant and shortly after I gave birth. He eventually left me when our daughter was three and he got married within a year of our separation. During this time I was single and was just trying to work on myself and he would contribute financially and visit her occasionally. She is now six and I just got into a new relationship. He came by my house unannounced one night with some supplies and saw my new man there. All of a sudden he came crying to me that he is sorry and he wants his family back, and when I turned him down he decided to make my life hell. He has sent threats to my boyfriend, is busy everytime I ask him to keep his daughter so I can have some me-time, and doesn't want to contribute financially anymore. It's like he is trying to punish me for moving on.
Nicholae, 34, service technician:
I have twins with my first babyfather and that just makes it two times worse. I was prepared to raise my daughters alone when I decided to keep the pregnancy, even though he didn't want me to. We broke up over the abortion argument, but I really needed the help after the girls were born because it was overwhelming. So he came to live with me. When I started working again and got them in daycare I told him to leave and since then he has been bitter and obsessive. I went to court for a protection order because he was harassing me, but he said that I was trying to prevent him from seeing his children, so I didn't get it. It's so bad that my current partner is afraid to come to my house because my ex threatened to run his 'las through his belly if he sees him in the area.
Sonia, 37, bus driver:
My babyfather has two other babymothers after me and still finds time to watch my good-good. I don't know how he keeps up with my love life and can't keep up with the little money I ask him to contribute each month. I am thinking of taking him to court because I told him that I need more money to send his daughter to school and his response was that he can't give anymore because when he comes to check me he isn't getting his full money's worth.
Leana, 39, social worker:
My child's father lives in Canada and for years I struggled with getting support from him — he would give when he felt like it. When he stopped paying once again, even after I got a local court order ordering him to do so, I made up my mind that I would push for support to be structured. So I just travelled to the province where he lives and filed a case there, and now his wages are being garnished. He is so livid that I went that route, and that he can no longer control the payments, that he has become Mr Petty. Last summer our son went to visit him and asked him to buy six notebooks that were on sale and he refused, and told him that I should buy it. Not even an eraser he would buy — like he thinks the child support covers everything! I just wired my son the funds to get his school supplies and told him not to pay his dad any mind.