WHEN relationships go through a rough patch, parties usually solicit the advice of their closest friends or associates. While for the most part this can be helpful, there are some bits of advice that, if followed, only lead to further complications of matters concerning the heart.
How bad can bad advice be? Below readers share the worst relationship advice they've ever received.
I was told by my friends that sex would solve all issues as sex today is the same sex tomorrow, a year later, and after we get married [so the timing of sex didn't matter]. I slept with him and things went left really fast.
The worst advice I was given was to break up with my girlfriend because we were constantly fighting. The better thing would have been to tell me to sit and talk it over then decide what to do, rather than just end things. I later found out that the friend who gave me the advice had secretly wanted my girlfriend for himself.
I was told by some clown to find out everything about my partner's past relationships so I could know what kind of individual she was. I was also told to find out how many sexual partners she had before me. These were bad bits of advice because it made me very judgemental and this unconsciously manifested during the relationship.
I was told never to let some things slide and always flesh out arguments no matter what. I now realise that while there is absolutely nothing wrong with properly resolving issues, it's better not to sweat the small stuff. Everyone has their imperfections and that's the beauty of humans. So if he doesn't squeeze the toothpaste your way, don't argue. If he forgot to do the dishes, instead of arguing, remind him.
I was told to be a yes girl. I was told that you have to nurture your man's ego because men have fragile egos and like to be in charge and be hunters. But I realised that you can give them that much, but always maintain your independence. If you approach your relationship agreeing with everything, he will either be turned off or when you do have an opinion and state it, it becomes a problem.
I was told to have a baby with her and she would be inclined to never leave me. Boy was I wrong! I thought it was good advice because women always think a baby will trap a man, so if a man also thinks like this and impregnates his woman, then she would remain with him, right? But she never wanted a child and never wanted me either. She was very upset at the situation, had the child, and continued her life. She eventually migrated with the child and moved on to her own happiness, without me.
I was told to play hard to get and I stuck with this and ended up still single each time while the ones who encouraged me to do so were coupled up. I realise now that while the chase is good in the beginning, over time it becomes monotonous and borders toying with people's emotions.