Things I wish I had known about my partner before marriage


Monday, January 21, 2019

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MOST people use the dating period to find out as much as they can about their partners — their likes, their dislikes, as well as habits that they can or cannot live with. Unfortunately, sometimes no matter how long you date someone, there is no guarantee that you will know everything about him/her before you get hitched.

All Woman asked some married readers traits or habits that their partners have that they wish they had known about before getting married, and this is what they had to say.

Stacian, teacher, 35:

I wish I knew that my partner had a mental illness before we tied the knot. It wouldn't have changed how much I love him, but I would have been better prepared to handle the challenges that we encountered. Instead I was caught off guard and I struggled to help him and struggled to stay strong even for myself.

Prim, vendor, 52:

I wish that I knew that my husband does not know how to keep his tool in his pants. I am tired of dealing with the same issue over and over.

Mark, trailer operator, 40:

I wish I knew that my wife couldn't have children. I love her, I really do, but I would have got the kids then married her. I don't want to just adopt children, but I also don't want to cheat on her.

Rachel, nurse, 33:

I wish that I had taken time to analyse the extent of my husband's drinking problem. I also didn't know that he gambled, and especially not this much. This is affecting our ability to save and to achieve the things that we want to achieve as a unit.

Lloyd, business development specialist, 41:

I would have wanted my wife to tell me that she would not take my last name. I feel disrespected and many people think she is doing it because she does not have faith in the longevity of the union. It really bothers me, but she said that she just doesn't want to confuse people and she doesn't want to give up her father's name because no matter what, that will always be hers.

Shamel, event planner, 30:

Two things — yes, I knew that the talks of children would come, but I didn't expect that I would be pressured about it literally days after getting married. I also wish that I knew that my in-laws were going to be in my face and in my life all the time to dictate how things should play out in our home.

Vernette, entrepreneur, 50:

If only I knew that he was a manipulative, gaslighting beast, a hypocritical pretend Christian, and a cheat who can't keep his junk in his pants.

Chris, musician, 29:

I would have been in a better position if I had known that my wife is a kleptomaniac. She has caused my family and I a lot of embarrassment. I also wish that I had taken more time to know her because I would have realised that all she was taking to the table was herself and a big mouth, because for the past two years all I hear are plans to better herself, but no action. She has no ambition.

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