THERE is no perfect relationship, and at some point your partner will exhibit traits that are not desirable. But when these traits force you to lower your standards or make you feel worthless, disrespected and taken for granted, relationship counsellor Wayne Powell says that these should never be tolerated.
Below, Powell shares a list of traits that he says should never go unchecked in a relationship, because they could cause physical and/or emotional harm.
Physical and emotional abuse
While women are most often the victims of abuse (in all forms), some men also suffer abuse. Violence has no place in a relationship, and if you feel threatened or fear for your life, then you should leave, even if you have to get professional help to achieve this. Where emotional abuse is concerned, remember that while you may not see the physical scars, harsh language and vindictive treatment can have significant lasting effects on you.
It goes without saying that a relationship involves teamwork. Laziness should never be tolerated. This means that you shouldn't tolerate a partner who continuously makes excuses about why he/she can't get or keep a job. The same is true for household chores — the burden should never be left on a single person.
If your partner feels the world revolves around him/her and makes everything in the relationship about them, you should put a stop to this. You are just as important in the relationship, and it shouldn't mean that you always have to make compromises to accommodate him/her. This is even worse when your partner makes you feel guilty every time you make an effort to put yourself first.
Honesty is one of the pillars on which every relationship should be built. If this is compromised, especially on a regular basis, you should not tolerate this. Exceptions can be made about little white lies, but serious lies about finances, your past, your family, a job, will only result in loss of trust.
An unfaithful partner will create serious challenges in a relationship. While some people can forgive a cheating partner, others can't, but if you decide to forgive, you must make it clear that there will be no second chance.
Poor personal hygiene
Refusing to take a bath, brush one's teeth or wear clean clothing is offensive to most of us. Nobody should have to put up with a smelly, germ-infested partner. This can be socially embarrassing and could also initiate harmful but preventable health conditions.
Giving more and getting less in return
A relationship should be 50-50. If you constantly have to give 90 per cent and only get back 10, then don't tolerate this. Remind yourself that you deserve more.
Little or no intimacy
Intimacy is considered the glue for all relationships. If this rarely or never happens, then something is amiss. Does your partner have a genuine hang-up? Of course, intimacy isn't just sex, but involves spending quality time together. If your partner refuses to make time for this, just say goodbye.