All Woman

To aspiring sugar babies... The not-so-glamorous side of having a sugar daddy

BY PENDA HONEYGHAN

Monday, May 20, 2019

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IN a predominantly materialistic world, scoring a man with very deep pockets — even if he qualifies for senior citizens' privileges at the bank — is like a gift from God for many young women who aspire to live a life of glamour.

Like any other dating dynamic, there are plenty perks that come with these arrangements, but there are also a number of pitfalls.

The generation gap and its associated disadvantages is one such drawback that can mar an otherwise win-win situation. Below, sex therapist Dr Sydney McGill highlights some of the challenges:

You are not on equal footing

You will realise sooner or later that, unlike most man-and-woman relationships, 'sugaring' is void of equality.

Since the sugar daddy is more successful, wealthier and yes, older, it is more likely that he will have the upper hand in the relationship. He will want to negotiate the terms and will have way more demands regarding details of the business arrangement.

Sugar daddies tend to be controlling

Age has a lot to do with control. Sugar babies usually realise — sometimes the hard way — that they are like puppets to these older men.

They call the shots. You might have to cancel your plans if they find time for you in their schedule; you might indirectly find yourself prostituting yourself because you don't want to say no; and they may want to police your movements and pressure you into making decisions such as having cosmetic surgeries done.

It's not as fun to hang out with friends

He might like the fact that you are much younger, but he might not enjoy the things you enjoy doing. For example, your sugar daddy might not want to party all night because he simply does not have the stamina or he does not wish to be in a club with younger men.

EXPECT CRITICISMS FROM JUST ABOUT EVERYONE

One perk of an older man having a sugar baby is having a young, attractive woman on his arm. He will take you out to public places, not just to indulge you, but also as an ego boost.

Unfortunately, when people see you with him, they immediately think of you as a homewrecker (since some sugar daddies are married), a prostitute (even if the agreement does not involve sex), or a gold-digger.

People simply assume the worst of you — even your family — and there is nothing much you can do about it.

GETTING IT ON WITH AN OLDER GUY IS NOT ALWAYS SATISFYING

Chances are you will not be sexually attracted to your sugar daddy, and much of it has to do with age. However, your job is to please him.

Grandpa thoughts, the wrinkled skin, and all the other physical changes that come with being an older man can be a real turn-off. While most young women might be okay with cuddling, if sex comes into play, especially if unplanned, it can really make a girl cringe.

Pretending to be interested in conversations can become annoying

Some sugar daddies, besides loving the idea of having a gorgeous woman at his side, also love the idea of having someone to talk to who won't judge him, who will be understanding, and will pretty much do anything to make him happy.

However, having to act interested or pretending to get jokes that you do not, or jokes that are just a little too stiff in conversations can really annoy a sugar baby. Part of the reason for this is that there is a disconnect because of the generation gap.


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