IN an ideal world, when people are done with relationships they should say so and save everyone the trouble, confusion and heartache that comes with stringing the other person along. But things aren't always that simple. Leaving someone, especially if you've been together for a long time, can be a complicated and difficult thing to do, regardless of whether or not you fell out of love long ago. In fact, some relationships end long before one person walks out the door, but some people might remain in the same physical space, although they have emotionally disconnected themselves from the other person.
Here are some signs that your partner has already checked out of your relationship, but just doesn't have the guts to officially end it.
They no longer spend quality time with you
When people want space they can become emotionally distant, but one of the clearest signs that someone is no longer interested in you is that they become physically distant. They cut back significantly on how much time is actually spent with you. If you live in the same house, they might find reasons to be away from home more often just to avoid being around you. If you used to go out together, they will stop taking you out or cut back on your appearances together in public.
They become unavailable on the phone or social media
People who do not live together rely a lot on the phone and social media to stay in touch. When that person's phone begins to go unanswered more often than they answer your calls, it's a red flag. If you know that they are physically well, yet they are not taking your calls, it's simple — they are avoiding you. It may be that they are taking time to think through things or they have already decided to break up with you but are not brave enough to tell you. Men in particular like to say they have been busy when they stop taking your calls, but the truth is, they do not want to talk to you. If a man does, he would MAKE the time. People prioritise things that matter to them.
They change their social media relationship status
If they change their relationship status from 'in a relationship' to private mode, often it's a sign that something has changed in their mind and heart and they probably want to open themselves up for a new relationship.
They stop doing the things that matter to you
When your partner stops doing the little things they know matter to you, it's not a good sign. For instance, if you both work and she used to make the time to cook for you on weekends, but suddenly stops, something might be up. If he stops picking you up after work and nothing is wrong with his car, nor is he working late, it could mean he just doesn't care to do so anymore. In my social experiments with men, I noticed most of them said they just stopped doing the little things that mattered to their women when they lost interest.
They no longer discuss important decisions with you
If you both used to discuss important decisions such as your finances, investing in things together, having children, buying a home, etc, it means this person is quite likely no longer interested in a future with you. When someone no longer sees you as part of their future, they no longer consider it necessary to engage you in their plans for the future.
They won't commit to the relationship
When you're still in the dating stages and a man isn't sure he wants to take the relationship any further, he will not confirm a commitment to you. He prefers to keep things up in the air and hopes you will get frustrated and walk away. If he's a player, lying is nothing to him because it's all a game. But a man who doesn't want to hurt your feelings might struggle to tell you he doesn't see a future for both of you. You will have to take the cue and cut loose.
They pick fights over simple things
One of the most popular tactics of some men who want out of a relationship is to pick a fight over simple things. What is happening here is that they are trying to turn you off because they are already turned off from you and don't know how to tell you. Simple things like where you put the remote, when he calls and you don't pick up on the first ring, are little tactics that a man may use to pick a fight with you. A man who suddenly begins to pick fights over things that you used to be able to ignore or discuss wants out of the relationship.
They tell you it's not you, it's them
One of the best reverse psychology strategies when a person wants out of a relationship is to tell their partner, “it's not you, it's me”. They might even tell you that you deserve better. What is really happening is that they are trying to find a way to let you down the easy way, so they take the fault by making you appear blameless while they pull out. A man might tell you all the good things about you and even add that any man would be lucky to have you — any man but him that is. If he is happy being that unfortunate guy who loses you, it's a mind game.
Marie Berbick is a communications specialist, motivational speaker, ordained minister and founder of the women's ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Follow her on Facebook and Instagram @MarieBerbick. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.