All Woman

Women who've dated single dads talk pros, cons

Monday, June 10, 2019

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IF you are a woman on the hunt for a good man, the reality is that sometimes a good man might come with children from past relationships.

A lot of men become single dads through various situations, whether it is a relationship that has gone sour, a one-night stand, divorce, or even the loss of a spouse.

Regardless, a woman must carefully consider the advantages and disadvantages of becoming involved with a single dad, just like with any other relationship.

Check out these pros and cons of dating single dads as shared by All Woman readers.

Pros

Sherice, 25, entrepreneur:

One good thing is that they already have a child or children, so they won't be pressuring you so much to have one, if you are not ready. They might still want one with you in the future, but they're not as jumpy as men who don't have any yet.

Sapphire, 28, stylist:

I was actually attracted to him even more when I saw how he treated his son. So I think a major advantage is that you can see them in action with their children, to know if they will make suitable fathers for your children in the future, or if you already have kids of your own.

Kimmy, 24, chef:

The best thing about dating a single father was that I had a great relationship with a child who I don't have to take care of all the time. It's like being a part-time mom or aunty. This works just fine for me, because I don't think I could manage being responsible for one all the time.

Sandra, 31, store clerk:

Men who have children and take care of them know how to manage their money. I wouldn't date a single dad if I was after his money, because I know I wouldn't get much. Children are expensive, and the best kind of man you can find is one who knows how to spend properly.

Lee-ann, 26, student:

It's harder for them to cheat when they have children. They can still do it, yes, but I think a smart man would satisfy with the woman he has at home if he has to be spending on her, plus spending money for his child/children, plus taking care of any other children in his household.

Cons

Sapphire, 28, stylist:

Baby mama drama — that is the biggest problem. The best thing to do is to ask the man if you can meet the child's mother when things start to get serious. If either he or she doesnt want that to happen, then you can expect that there will be problems further down the road. Either they have an awful relationship, or they are not completely over each other. Either way, it will be toxic for you and the child. If they cannot just be mature friends, then get the hell out of there.

Marie, 46, housekeeper:

The least little thing happens, the mother of the child will want to cause problems for you and blame you. My stepson comes by on holidays, and he is there with me alone sometimes. On one occasion he was running and fell; he got a cut and when he went back to his mother it was healed, but it had left a scar. She came to the house with police officers demanding to know who hurt her child.

Sherice, 25, entrepreneur:

Stepchildren can be terrible, and make you wonder what you took up on yourself, especially if their mother does not like you. They will plot against you, tell lies on you, and disrespect you. If you are not strong, the little monsters can make you cry. If you and his children can't get along then it will be a war in the home all the time.

Julie, 34, nail technician:

Dating a man with children is like dating a married man. If he is 'minding' his kids and playing a role in their lives, you can't expect that he will have money to buy you nice things and take you out often. It also gives them a convenient excuse to be straight up mean and stingy sometimes. You will hear, every day, how their babymother pressuring them for money and how much school fee need to pay and pickney want shoes and clothes. Some single dads are okay, but I would advise women to find a 'gladiss' and be his first babymother. You and your child will get everything.

Shauna, 29, teacher:

I was dating a single man and it was going well, until I decided that I wanted to have a baby. He had three children outside, but none of them lived with him. They came by sometimes and they were nice enough to me, and I was nice to them. He said he would want a child with me one day, but it just wasn't the right time. But I wasn't getting any younger, so I had to move on.

— Candiece Knight


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