Jamaica Observer http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/ JamaicaObserver.com, the most concise and in-depth website for news coverage on Jamaica and the Caribbean. Updated daily 7 days a week, 24 hours a day en-us copyright Jamaica Observer, 2011 Those long distance relationships http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Those-long-distance-relationships By Miss Kes Many people are engaged in long distance relationships and have managed to conquer all the challenges they bring. But long distance relationships can be extremely challenging. There are ways, however, to ensure you sustain a healthy union.<br /> <br /> 1. Learn to really trust<br /> <br /> This is an important factor in all relationships whether long distance or not. You have to give your partner the benefit of the doubt until they prove themselves otherwise. <br /> <br /> 2. Communicate regularly<br /> <br /> There is one edge that long distance relationships have over other types, and it&rsquo;s that they force partners to communicate because that is really what keeps the chemistry going. Communication is important to all relationships. It also forces partners to actually know each other inside out. If you spend the majority of your time communicating with someone, it teaches you how to actually respect and appreciate the person.<br /> <br /> 2. Try to be there as much as possible <br /> <br /> Whenever you can, ensure you spend quality time with your partner. This kind of relationship also forces you to appreciate your partner because what is rare is often appreciated.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13484573/distance_w300.jpg All Woman Tuesday, December 06, 2016 11:13 AM The #1 reason why women cheat http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/The--1-reason-women-cheat By Miss Kes MANY women are emotional and because of this, when their emotions are not taken into serious consideration, or disregarded, they tend to get sidetracked. For some, turning to another person for comfort is the solution. Indeed, many women tend to cheat because of the lack of concern over time for their emotional needs.<br /> <br /> A man will meet a woman, give her all the attention and all that her heart desires, and after a few months he becomes complacent because he believes he has her under his belt so there&rsquo;s no longer a need to wine and dine her. <br /> <br /> A woman won&rsquo;t just get up and cheat because she is lustful. It is given lots of thought and even planning, simply because her man has been neglecting her.<br /> <br /> Below are several guidelines to prevent this.<br /> <br /> 1. Let your woman feel like a queen<br /> <br /> It is your duty, gentlemen, to ensure that your woman feels exclusive in how you treat her. It is not old-fashioned or boring to take home flowers, to take her chocolates if she loves them, and it is surely not boring to really date your woman regardless of how long you have been together.<br /> <br /> 2. Give her all the attention she needs<br /> <br /> This has been a major cause of women being unfaithful. A man will start off by calling a million times in a second and the moment he is settled in the relationship that is drastically reduced. This can definitely change the shape of the relationship.<br /> <br /> 3. Respect her and her feelings<br /> <br /> Men tend to listen to counteract, and not to respect and try to understand their women&rsquo;s feelings. It is totally hypocritical for you to insist that your woman listen to your concerns and when she is requesting the same of you, it is glossed over like it means nothing.<br /> <br /> 4. Make your woman secure<br /> <br /> If your actions are contradictory to your character then your woman will suspect that you are unfaithful and that can trigger her to protect her sanity by finding someone in whom she feels secure. Gentlemen, if you desire a faithful woman, be that example.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13484541/cheat_w300.jpg All Woman Tuesday, December 06, 2016 10:58 AM Vows: The Love of A Lifetime http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Vows--The-Love-of-A-Lifetime_81421 When Sagicor Bank Personal Banking Officer Ruchelle Chin met Data Operations Engineer Duen Reid, neither of them knew that a customer experience would result in their exchange of vows on November 5, 2016. Vows takes you back to the beginning. <br /> <br /> THE INITIAL ENCOUNTER, AS TOLD BY RUCHELLE<br /> <br /> In December 2015, my cellphone fell and shattered and was sent overseas for repairs. It came back not to my liking, so I decided I would attempt to get it fixed locally. I visited Duen&rsquo;s previous employers, Quantum Concepts. He was very friendly and charming, but I wasn&rsquo;t very interested at the time. I left my number for him to call me as soon as the phone was fixed. I got a text message from him one day, and since then we began talking every night. As the months went by, I grew to love and appreciate him more, and not long after, we decided to make things official. Six months later, we decided to get married. He sent for the ring overseas but had a problem importing it, so he asked me to get help from my contacts at Jamaica Customs. Duen is very simple, so the proposal was done at home in bed during our nightly cuddling sessions. <br /> <br /> THE CEREMONY<br /> <br /> The ceremony began on the lush lawns of Caymanas Golf Club with the strains of Nathan Skyes&rsquo; Over And Over Again in the background, as Ruchelle&rsquo;s bridesmaids made their way up the aisle dressed in blush pink one-shoulder gowns from Petals & Promises. They were escorted by the dapper groomsmen who were decked in brown two-piece suits and blush pink bow ties from Beautiful Brides and Mr Tux. At the altar stood an eager Duen, dressed in a light brown three-piece suit accented with a blush pink muffler scarf tailored by Spokes Apparel. Ruchelle, accompanied by her mother Valerie Chin, was a vision of elegance in a strapless embellished fit and flare gown, also from Petals & Promises. She made her way up the aisle to the strains of Beyonc&Atilde;&copy; and Marc Nelson&rsquo;s After All is Said and Done. The ceremony was officiated by Reverend Silvera Castro and included the blending of sands ceremony &mdash; symbolic of the joining of the two families &mdash; and a musical interlude by saxophonist Kemroy Bonfield. <br /> <br /> THE RECEPTION<br /> <br /> Wedding guests and the bridal party danced their way to the reception venue of the Gold Club to Bruno Mars&rsquo; Uptown Funk. They were followed by the elated newly-weds who made their way in to Pharell Williams&rsquo; Happy. Luxe Event Design CEO and event stylist Patrice Dehaney was responsible for the couple&rsquo;s garden-chic fairy tale-themed d&Atilde;&copy;cor which featured shades of blush, ivory and champagne. Master of Ceremonies Ian &lsquo;Ity&rsquo; Ellis invited guests to be seated as the couple took to the floor for their first dance to Christina Perri&rsquo;s A Thousand Years. Formalities continued with the cutting of the three-tiered vanilla rum butter-flavoured cake by KukUpKreations and a sumptuous three-course meal catered by the Caymanas Golf Club. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475927/244137__w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475913/244136__w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475925/242834_71199_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475923/242835_71200_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475926/242836_71201_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475915/242837_71202_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475921/242838_71203_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475914/242839_71204_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475916/242840_71205_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475918/242841_71206_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475919/242842_71207_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475920/242843_71208_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475912/242844_71209_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475924/242845_71210_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475922/242847_71211_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475911/243805_71212_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Identifying a wolf in sheep&rsquo;s clothing http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Identifying-a-wolf-in-sheep-s-clothing_82026 MOST people with devious intentions in relationships don&rsquo;t reveal them instantly.<br /> <br /> They appear docile and will use this calm and collected demeanour to manipulate you. They are often referred to as wolves in sheep&rsquo;s clothing.<br /> <br /> Sometimes it&rsquo;s not easy to spot such a person, and usually reality sets in when you&rsquo;re all tangled up.<br /> <br /> Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell says it will take careful analysis and observation of an individual to spot a wolf, and if this is someone you are interested in or share a relationship with, your judgement can&rsquo;t be clouded.<br /> <br /> Watch out if:<br /> <br /> 1. He or she is nice just for a period of time<br /> <br /> Powell said a wolf in sheep&rsquo;s clothing tends to be overly nice and projects himself as the perfect gentleman until he gets what he wants.<br /> <br /> 2.The sympathy card<br /> <br /> &ldquo;He tells you sad stories to get your sympathy and after you lend him the money to get him out of the jam, he disappears,&rdquo; Powell said.<br /> <br /> 3. The con artist<br /> <br /> The relationship counsellor said this individual will tell you how he has a project that will bring you excellent returns, and after you invest your money, he uses it for his personal benefit.<br /> <br /> 4. The habitual liar<br /> <br /> He said if this person is always lying and fabricating stories to give the impression that he is rich and famous, then he is a wolf in sheep&rsquo;s clothing.<br /> <br /> 5. False promises<br /> <br /> &ldquo;He is always making promises but never delivers,&rdquo; the relationship counsellor said.<br /> <br /> 6. The womaniser<br /> <br /> Powell said if he tells you how much he respects women until you learn that he is an infamous womaniser, then take heed that he is a wolf disguised as a sheep.<br /> <br /> 7. Two-faced<br /> <br /> The relationship counsellor said he tells you he does not drink, smoke or curse &mdash; until you discover his &ldquo;hidden talents&rdquo; at a social event.<br /> <br /> &mdash;Kimberley Hibbert http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475553/244751_71139_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Jhanille Brooks - Service above self http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Jhanille-Brooks---Service-above-self_82201 BY KIMBERLEY HIBBERT SHE&rsquo;S fun-loving, caring, driven, and very keen to promote mental health awareness and public education, as well as working with at-risk boys.<br /> <br /> Jhanille Brooks, 31, told All Woman that from a tender age she has been involved in volunteer initiatives, which fostered her love to see people be the best versions of themselves.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;At Campion we were mandated to be involved in two clubs, one of which had to be a service club, and I was part of the Interact Club. From there my passion for volunteerism grew and I started counselling and volunteering at summer camps. I was always involved in giving back, and I found that a lot of people would always come just to talk, so I had that inclination from high school to help. I also volunteered at Friends Hotline before &mdash; helping young people trying to find out who they are, what they&rsquo;re doing with their life,&rdquo; she said.<br /> <br /> When Brooks got to the University of the West Indies she enrolled in management studies, and then she realised she really wanted to go into counselling. However, she was not allowed to switch her major or do a minor, so she opted to do all her free electives in psychology.<br /> <br /> But on December 1, 2005, an experience with a friend truly convinced her that this was the path she wanted to pursue.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;That day I lost a friend to suicide. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia a couple of weeks before. We were 20 years old. Out of the care group, I was the only one in the group who had any working knowledge of what it was and what it meant. It was a lot of confusion. He was a close friend of mine, and while he was sick with his hallucinations and so forth he would reach out to me. When he was not hallucinating or delusional, at times he would be talking and expressing what he was experiencing. I saw the illness manifest and a couple of weeks later he committed suicide. It was after that happened that I had an aha turning point, an epiphany, a metaphorical moment in life. I said, &ldquo;Oh, this is what I should be doing.&rdquo; So here I am 11 years after his death doing what I can to raise awareness of mental health issues and reduce stigma, because it can in fact happen to anyone &mdash; not only the &lsquo;madman&rsquo; on the street.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> Brooks, who is also a Fulbright Scholar, holds a master&rsquo;s degree in rehabilitation and mental health counselling from the University of South Florida, and has worked in the areas of project management, clinical therapy, counselling, behaviour change, mental health, substance abuse prevention and rehabilitation, homelessness, community development, HIV/AIDS, working with at-risk groups including youths, as well as training, facilitation, resource mobilisation, event planning and fundraising<br /> <br /> She has also worked with Rise Life Management Services, the National Council on Drug Abuse, Back2Life Rio Cobre &mdash; a mentorship project for incarcerated youth at the Rio Cobre Juvenile Correctional Facility &mdash; and as an English teaching assistant for Heart for Change Colombia.<br /> <br /> Having been in the field for seven years, Brooks currently works as a mental health counsellor and rehabilitation specialist at Caribbean Tots to Teens. She also serves as chairperson at the Jamaica Mental Health Advocacy Network, which she founded in 2012 to increase national awareness of mental illness while reducing the stigma associated with mental health as well as increasing the capacity of stakeholders to deal with individuals facing mental health challenges.<br /> <br /> Other functions include lobbying for the proper treatment and increased services offered to people suffering from mental illness, promoting acceptance of mental health problems by encouraging, educating and inspiring people to talk openly about mental health problems, and promoting overall wellness and mental stability.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Having worked with young people in youth development, I know adolescence is a very tricky time for them. That&rsquo;s hard enough, and adolescents may see their parents going through a divorce, they may have their first real relationship and it doesn&rsquo;t work out. These issues, if not handled properly, will lead to maladaptive behaviour. It&rsquo;s about coping with everyday challenges, especially now when there&rsquo;s so much coming at young people,&rdquo; she stated.<br /> <br /> With regards to her passion for working with at-risk boys, Brooks said it is not a problem that can&rsquo;t be fixed.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;We have a lot of problems in Jamaica, but one I want to solve is our marginalised young men. I want to help them fulfil their passion. I don&rsquo;t see women out their &lsquo;bussing&rsquo; the guns, I see the men doing it. So even if it is for that reason alone, I&rsquo;m passionate about it,&rdquo; she said.<br /> <br /> A lover of the gym, karaoke, music, sports, particularly football and basketball, Brooks also holds fast to her spirituality and uses Romans 8:28 as a guide &mdash; And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13478044/244750_71124_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM How to know your man/woman is cheating http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/How-to-know-your-man-woman-is-cheating_82187 BY PENDA HONEYGHAN A cheating partner is oftentimes a careless partner &mdash; changing this here and amending this there, trying to make sure that their partner doesn&rsquo;t find out about their double life. But sometimes they&rsquo;re in so much of a hurry to make things appear normal that clues get left behind. And sometimes the clue is merely a gut feeling, often caused by a partner&rsquo;s changed behaviour that&rsquo;s the giveaway ticket. <br /> <br /> Sex therapist Dr Sidney McGill, having heard more tales of cheating spouses than the ordinary person has, shares a few signs, divided by gender, that your partner is cheating. <br /> <br /> HE:<br /> <br /> He comes home later than usual <br /> <br /> You know your partner &mdash; he&rsquo;s never interested in staying overtime at work, becoming involved in charity or other work projects, hanging out with friends or having any interest in something new. But suddenly there are changes. Sometimes he will even make small talk about these changes without you even asking, totally out of guilt or in trying and cover his tracks. <br /> <br /> He is sensitive about his gadgets<br /> <br /> &ldquo;What yuh doing with my phone?!&rdquo; he might shout in panic if you even get close enough to taking it up. He will add or put passwords on his gadgets, when before you shared the devices with a password known to both of you without any problem at all. Now he will tell you that important work and sensitive business are being done on it, or that his phone is personal. <br /> <br /> He now takes calls privately<br /> <br /> No matter how intimate the moment, if he is taking a call he goes to another room or moves out of hearing distance. He will hide the screen of the phone as he texts, and seems to lose himself in the gadget even as you try to have a conversation with him. If he erupts in laughter and he never shares the jokes, even though he used to before, you&rsquo;re in trouble. <br /> <br /> He barely wants to spend time with you<br /> <br /> If he would much rather watch the TV or simply find something else to occupy his time until he falls asleep rather than talk with you, that is also cause for concern, because his relationship with you creates too much anxiety for him. He may not be sexually involved yet, but he may be emotionally involved with someone else.<br /> <br /> SHE:<br /> <br /> On the other hand, Dr McGill says women are adept at cheating for long periods without their partners having the slightest clue. He said this is because their behaviours before, during and after the sexual episodes will show very few signs of variation. But men should look for:<br /> <br /> Sexually transmitted diseases<br /> <br /> There is no truth to the &ldquo;her vagina feels different theory&rdquo;; however, if you know you have been faithful to a woman and you contract an STD, it&rsquo;s one way of telling that she&rsquo;s been naughty.<br /> <br /> Faking orgasms <br /> <br /> She looks indifferent, she doesn&rsquo;t seem to be interested in sex with you, and even when she agrees to it, all she wants is for you to get it over with. She is often so desperate for this that she will fake an orgasm, hoping that you will just finish up and let her be. Done consistently, this could be a sign. <br /> <br /> She hides her phone<br /> <br /> As much as she loves social media, she would much prefer to sacrifice it than to ever chance a message from &ldquo;lover boy&rdquo; popping up in your presence. <br /> <br /> Expensive gifts, or having extra money <br /> <br /> From expensive perfumes to outfits, lingerie and purses, she has them all, but these don&rsquo;t really match any of your budgets, and there is no proof of the spending. She says they are gifts, but you know her friends don&rsquo;t have that kind of money, nor would they be buying her presents so often. She has also become sensitive about sharing information on her finances although you both have good credit and share accounts. <br /> <br /> She is less emotional, less attached<br /> <br /> She doesn&rsquo;t get as upset anymore at the little things that would make her mad, probably because she is not paying as much attention anymore. She is less open, not talking as much or sharing as many details about her days as she would before. She will also not be too concerned about plans that you have to spend time together anymore, even though those were priority before. <br /> <br /> Dr McGill notes that these clues, however, are inconclusive. He advised that if your friends tell you that your partner is cheating, do not accept their version. He said you should depend on your own intuition and act on this to find out. Above all, never be afraid to ask your partner outright. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475556/244747_71138_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM STD awareness: Human T-cell Lymphotropic Virus http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/STD-awareness--Human-T-cell-Lymphotropic-Virus_82173 APART from the HIV/AIDS virus, the disease which has been gaining popularity in the Caribbean is the HTLV-1- Human T-cell Lymphotropic Virus type 1.<br /> <br /> According to obstetrician/ gynaecologist Dr Jordan Hardie, HTLV- 1 is a ribonuecleic acid (RNA) virus that affects 10 million people worldwide and is endemic in the Caribbean, Asia, South America and parts of Africa.<br /> <br /> Dr Hardie said the modes of transmission include sexual intercourse, breastfeeding, blood transfusion with infected blood, and sharing of needles by drug users.<br /> <br /> Of note, he said the HTLV-1 may remain dormant in the body for many years and can lead to the development of a number of conditions including adult T-cell leukaemia, lymphoma, HTLV-1 associated myelopathy also known as Tropical Spastic Paraperesis (TSP), infective dermatitis (inflammation of the skin) and uveitis, which may lead to visual disturbances.<br /> <br /> Other facts about HTLV-1 include:<br /> <br /> 1. Only a blood test can determine whether or not you have the virus.<br /> <br /> 2. Signs and symptoms include skin rashes, swollen lymph nodes (wax and kernels), backaches, difficulty passing urine, sensation of pins and needles in the feet, weakness in the legs, and a reduced sex drive.<br /> <br /> While the virus isn&rsquo;t curable, Dr Hardie said there are specific treatments for the diseases caused by the virus. Preventative measures that can reduce the spread of the virus include:<br /> <br /> 1. The use of condoms during sexual intercourse.<br /> <br /> 2. Refraining from breastfeeding if you have the virus. However, if breastfeeding is a must, it should be done for no longer than six months.<br /> <br /> 3. Refraining from donating blood.<br /> <br /> 4. Maintaining a balanced diet of fruits and vegetables.<br /> <br /> People are urged to be informed about the disease, to exercise regularly, and to visit the doctor when they experience symptoms.<br /> <br /> He said treatment is multi-disciplinary, involving many specialities including internal medicine, oncology, ophthalmology and dermatology.<br /> <br />   http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475555/244746_71126_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Fake lawyer faked my husband&rsquo;s divorce http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Fake-lawyer-faked-my-husband-s-divorce_82364 Margarette Macaulay DEAR MRS MACAULAY,<br /> <br /> I got married in Jamaica a couple of years ago. My husband got divorced from his first wife in Jamaica, but unfortunately he was robbed of his money by a fake attorney so our marriage isn&rsquo;t valid. Only after I filed his papers did US immigration find out that the document wasn&rsquo;t real. About two months ago the fake attorney was caught by the police and the case is going on now. The judge ordered a letter from the clerk for my husband to show the embassy to clear his name. But my question is, can my marriage be annulled? If yes, how long does it take? Or do I need to file for divorce? I&rsquo;m going to remarry him as soon as it&rsquo;s resolved as we have a six-year-old daughter together.<br /> <br /> How unfortunate for you and your husband, but especially your husband who was put in the position of being in conflict with the law as a bigamist because of a fraudulent person who pretended to be an attorney and faked the grant of your husband&rsquo;s decree absolute. This person&rsquo;s conduct for which he collected monies from your husband placed you and your husband in a truly embarrassing position with the US immigration authorities, who would not even commence the processing of your application for your husband despite a letter from the judge of the court in which the false lawyer is being tried. <br /> <br /> The answer to your question about whether the marriage can be annulled is a resounding yes. The first ground in the Matrimonial Causes Act for the grant of decrees of nullity on the basis that a marriage is void, is that one of the parties to the marriage had a wife or husband living at the time of the marriage. This puts yours and your husband&rsquo;s situation squarely within this provision in the Act. So yes, you should apply for a decree of nullity on the ground that your marriage is void because of the fact that your husband&rsquo;s divorce was not legally obtained and so he was still married and his estranged wife was still alive at the time you celebrated your marriage to him.<br /> <br /> Your husband must also file his petition in order to obtain a legal divorce this time. When you both obtain your decrees, you can then remarry as you plan to do. You should have the same lawyer do both matters so that he/she can try to have them dealt with on the same day. Since you will both wish the matters to be dealt with very quickly, I suggest you insist that the attorney-at-law file for the matter to be heard in court on the same day. This process has proved to be faster, despite the fact that the decrees can be granted on paper without the need for either of you to attend and give evidence. This latter procedure has proved to be slower that those heard in open court with the petitioner attending and giving evidence.<br /> <br /> In your application, apart from producing your own certified copy of your certificate of marriage, a copy of your husband&rsquo;s would be needed and proof of the fact that the wife referred to therein is still alive. Evidence should also be produced of the fraud perpetrated by the fake lawyer on your husband, which would demonstrate that he believed that he was free to marry you at the time of your marriage, and only knew otherwise when you were informed by US immigration that the decree absolute you sent in was a fraudulent document.<br /> <br /> This time, please make sure that the lawyer you and your &lsquo;husband&rsquo; retain is truly a lawyer who is entitled to practise in Jamaica and is in good standing. You can confirm this by checking the General Legal Council&rsquo;s website or telephone the office to check on the person. <br /> <br /> I am sorry, but I cannot give you a definite time when your applications will be completed. This would depend on several variables &mdash; the time you take to retain someone, the time taken by them to prepare the petitions and supporting affidavits, the time you take to sign them, time taken to serve, the time it takes to get them set down for hearing, and afterwards, when they are heard and the decrees are signed, sealed and entered, and given to your lawyer for you. It will save time for certified copies to be applied for at the same time as the original copies are filed. <br /> <br /> I wish you and your husband the very best and trust that you can regularise the situation as soon as possible so that you can remarry and start your life together with your child in a happy home.<br /> <br /> Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public, and women&rsquo;s and children&rsquo;s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5. All responses are published. Mrs Macaulay cannot provide personal responses.<br /> <br /> DISCLAIMER:<br /> <br /> The contents of this article are for informational purposes only and must not be relied upon as an alternative to legal advice from your own attorney. <br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475557/244749_71125_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Remember: Be AIDS aware http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Remember--Be-AIDS-aware_82098 DECEMBER 1 was World Aids Day, and Jamaica celebrated the day under the theme &lsquo;Keep the Promise: Hands Up for #HIVPrevention&rsquo;, which focuses on investing in HIV prevention. <br /> <br /> According to the UNAIDS 2016 Prevention Gap Report, there are an estimated 39,000 persons living with HIV in Jamaica, with less than half of that figure knowing their HIV status. Jamaica has therefore been charged with the task of reducing new HIV infections.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Knowing your status is the first step towards the elimination of HIV in Jamaica&rdquo; said Dr Dana Morris Dixon, chairperson of the board of directors at the National Family Planning Board - Sexual Health Agency (NFPB-SHA).<br /> <br /> As a result, the NFPB-SHA, in collaboration with the AIDS Healthcare Foundation and the United Nations Joint Programme on HIV and AIDS, observed the day by hosting a series of events including a road march and health fair.<br /> <br /> The NFPB-SHA, the South East Regional Health Authority, and the Jamaica AIDS Support for Life, collaborated to provide HIV testing at the health fair.<br /> <br /> The day began with a free health fair at St William Grant Park in downtown Kingston. Individuals received health services such as HIV tests, syphilis tests, blood pressure checks, family planning and more. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13470552/244422_70897_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Health benefits of quinoa http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Health-benefits-of-quinoa_81528 BY PENDA HONEYGHAN QUINOA, a non-grassy plant used in much the same way as cereals and grains, is widely growing in popularity, dubbed as the super grain of the future because of the plethora of health benefits associated with it.<br /> <br /> But the ancient grain, which was known to the Incas as &ldquo;the mother of all grains&rdquo;, remained unpopular until 2013 when the Food and Agricultural Organization declared &ldquo;The International Year of the Quinoa&rdquo; even though it had been cultivated for thousands of years.<br /> <br /> But why has quinoa gained so much popularity and in so little time?<br /> <br /> Dietician and nutritionist Jenelle Solomon says the demand for quinoa, even in Jamaica, has soared because successive research has found that it has lived up to its name as the superfood.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;It&rsquo;s on everyone&rsquo;s lips because it is a power food. People who are looking to a vegan diet and those who generally desire a healthier diet are now looking to quinoa and we cannot blame them. In fact, it is on our [nutritionists and dieticians] recommended list of foods because of its nutritional value as well as its association with a decrease in the risk of many health complications,&rdquo; Solomon explained.<br /> <br /> Solomon shares several reasons why quinoa is so good:<br /> <br /> Very high in fibre<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Because it is a high insoluble fibre whole grain it will help with satiety, therefore it would make a person feel fuller for a longer time,&rdquo; Solomon said. This, she says, contributes to weight loss because the body cannot easily break insoluble fibres down. She also pointed out that fibre is important to maintaining a healthy digestive system.<br /> <br /> Contains all nine essential amino acids/high in protein<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Quinoa falls into a very rare category of plants which comprise nine essential amino acids and so it is considered a complete protein. So it can be used as a protein substitute and it has surfaced in our culture because of the vegetarian and self-consciousness movements that are being promoted. This makes it easier for people to reduce their intake of meats high in protein without feeling they are exposing themselves to problems brought on by a protein deficiency,&rdquo; Solomon explained. She noted that unlike other whole grains, quinoa has a higher ratio of protein to carbohydrate which makes it the healthiest of whole grains. Also, because of its high protein value, this causes it to naturally boost the metabolic rate.<br /> <br /> Gluten-free<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Quinoa is a natural gluten-free cereal. It contains iron, B-vitamins, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, calcium, vitamin E and fibre, which makes it perfect for gluten-free diets. It is also a great ingredient to substitute for flour, for example, in the production of foods such as bread and pasta for those people who are gluten intolerant,&rdquo; Solomon said. Additionally, people with Celiac disease which is exacerbated by the use of gluten could always explore quinoa as an alternative.<br /> <br /> Helps with other health conditions<br /> <br /> &ldquo;There are numerous studies showing that soluble fibre can help reduce blood sugar levels, lower cholesterol, increase fullness and help with weight loss. Quinoa contains heart-healthy fatty acids, which help with reducing the risk of cardiovascular diseases,&rdquo; Solomon stated. She added that it is also high in magnesium which helps to regulate the blood glucose levels and supports your immune system, thereby helping with the control of type-two diabetes. Its high potassium content has also been linked to the control of hypertension. Potassium, Solomon said, is one of those few trace minerals that helps with the reduction of blood pressure because it counters the effect of sodium. Obesity, she noted, is another of the health conditions it tackles, because of its high fibre content. This helps to absorb and dispel excess fat from the body.<br /> <br /> High vitamin E content/very high in antioxidants<br /> <br /> &ldquo;You don&rsquo;t have many whole grains that have this high a content of vitamin E. Vitamin E is a natural antioxidant and so it fights against free radicals and protects the body against damaged tissues,&rdquo; Solomon said. She advised that antioxidants fight against cancerous cells, and so any food rich in antioxidants is something you would want to include in your diet. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13478041/243224_71158_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Can &lsquo;bissy&rsquo; help my hives? http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Can--bissy--help-my-hives-_82300 Donovan Grant DEAR DONOVAN,<br /> <br /> I have been experiencing an acute outbreak of hives for the last five weeks. I have done a stool test that came back negative, and did blood work that was also negative. I saw my allergist and did a skin test that showed a reaction to dust mites, pollen and dander. I was prescribed Prednisone that clears up the hives, but the minute the dose is completed, the hives are back. They are all over my skin. My face is covered, my back, my chest, my arms and my legs. I was reading your article about the qualities of &lsquo;bissy&rsquo; tea. Do you recommend that as something I could try to clear this inflammation? I do not wish to take Prednisone long term because of the damage it could cause to my organs.<br /> <br /> Hives, also known as urticaria is a condition where there is an outbreak of swollen, pale red bumps or welts on the skin that appear suddenly. This is usually the body&rsquo;s reaction to certain allergens.<br /> <br /> Hives usually cause extreme itching, but may also cause a burning or stinging sensation. The bumps or welts from hives may appear anywhere on the body. Allergic reaction from hives usually forms in response to histamine being released when allergens are present. Histamine is a chemical released from specialised cells along the skin&rsquo;s blood vessels. Allergic reaction chemicals in certain foods, insect stings, sunlight exposure or medication can trigger histamine release. <br /> <br /> In most cases it is almost impossible to find out what exactly caused the hives. It should be noted that there are several types of hives, including acute hives which may last longer than six weeks. They are usually caused by certain foods, medication, insect bites or even internal diseases. Some of the common foods that may cause hives include chocolate, nuts, eggs and fish. It is important to note that before treating hives, you should find out what type you have. <br /> <br /> The Kola Nut (bissy) plant is a caffeine-rich nut which is native to tropical Africa. In Jamaica, it is found in many people&rsquo;s cupboards and it is usually used as a home remedy to stop or cure food poisoning. <br /> <br /> Some people have allergic reactions after eating canned foods like sardines and mackerel. Also, they may get allergic reactions after eating seafood such as shrimp, lobster and other shell fish. Bissy is very good for purifying the blood and also as a detox for the body. These are the reasons that it might be very useful in treating food allergies. <br /> <br /> With that in mind, I think that bissy might be helpful in the treatment of hives, especially in the case of hives due to foods. It should be noted that some people are also allergic to bissy. Good luck.<br /> <br /> We will answer your weight-related questions<br /> <br /> Are you struggling to lose weight or just need some advice on living a healthier life? Tell us about your health issues and we&rsquo;ll have nutritionist and wellness coach Donovan Grant answer them for you. Grant has over 12 years&rsquo; experience in the fitness industry and is the owner of DG&rsquo;s Nutrition and Wellness Centre, 39 Lady Musgrave Road, Kingston 5. Call him at 876-286-1363. E-mail questions to clarkep@jamaicaobserver.com.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13191675/219968_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Six reasons you keep going back after the relationship ends http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Six-reasons-you-keep-going-back-after-the-relationship-ends_81585 By Marie Berbick BREAKING up is hard&hellip;very hard for most people. It is even harder for those who have been in a long-term relationship with someone who has become a fixture in their lives. When things begin to fall apart, one of the most difficult things is to decide when it&rsquo;s time to just let go and call it a day. <br /> <br /> But when one or both partners decide to walk away, sometimes they end up getting back together after a few weeks, months or even years, only for the relationship to end for good shortly thereafter. So why do people keep going back into relationships which supposedly have ended?<br /> <br /> 1. They miss the companionship<br /> <br /> If you&rsquo;ve been with someone for quite some time, it is quite normal to miss their company when the relationship ends. Even if they were a nightmare in some ways, there would have been good times as well. When you&rsquo;ve been with someone you wake up with each day, and with whom you&rsquo;ve had memorable experiences, it&rsquo;s hard to just let go. Even the men who play tough are often lying to themselves and others. <br /> <br /> 2. They fear being alone<br /> <br /> Returning to the single life can be a scary experience for someone who is coming out of a long-term relationship. Depending on how long they were married or involved with their partners, some people become very dependent on them. They forget how to function as individuals. So it becomes tempting to return to the person you broke up with, because it feels strange to go it alone. This is why some people will try to mend the relationship shortly after the break-up. However, getting back together because of the fear of being alone is one of the biggest mistakes made by people who were in unhealthy relationships. It&rsquo;s better to learn how to function by yourself again. <br /> <br /> 3. There is a soul tie<br /> <br /> For those who are not religious, they might not even consider this, but it is very real. You can establish a soul tie with anyone you&rsquo;ve slept with. Your soul becomes intertwined with another person through sex, and even when you know the person isn&rsquo;t good for you, you cannot seem to let go of them. Think carefully about how many times you&rsquo;ve seen people in relationships that you and they know isn&rsquo;t good for them. They break up only to make up and break up again in an unending toxic cycle.<br /> <br /> 4. They miss the sex<br /> <br /> If you had a good sex life with someone, it is possible to miss that aspect of the relationship so much that you keep going back despite the weaknesses in the other areas of the relationship. This is particularly so if you did not leave the relationship to be with someone else, or if the new person you ended your relationship for isn&rsquo;t satisfying your sexual needs. People who are fresh from broken relationships sometimes find others to satisfy their sexual needs, even as they are struggling with the emotional mess that they sometimes become. So it becomes easy to call up or try to get back with an ex in order to satisfy the need for sex. <br /> <br /> 5. They didn&rsquo;t realise what they had until they lost it<br /> <br /> Relationships require work and nurturing to sustain them. In a long-term relationship, one has to continually find ways to keep things spicy and exciting. People can become complacent and take their partners for granted. This complacency sometimes continues until the other partner walks away. When this happens, it&rsquo;s normally a moment of rude awakening for the other partner, especially when they realise they are unable to find someone who brought to their lives the value that their ex did.<br /> <br /> 6. They need the financial assistance<br /> <br /> Yes, a lot of people are in relationships because of the financial security their partners provide. Therefore it is not strange to miss the comfortable lifestyle and all the goodies that came from being with someone who was providing for you financially. However, it&rsquo;s up to a man to be smart and not allow a woman who was using him to lure him back into a relationship in which he was merely there to provide financial assistance. The same goes for women who spend their money on men. Be careful that you do not get sucked back into a relationship with a man who wants nothing but your money.<br /> <br /> Marie Berbick is a communications specialist, motivational speaker, and founder of the women&rsquo;s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Keep up with her on Facebook at http://facebook.com/marieberbick or at marieberbick.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Twitter @thePR Girl. E-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13478039/244741_71123_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Exercises for rapid weight loss http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Exercises-for-rapid-weight-loss_82034 By FALON FOLKES THERE may come a time when you&rsquo;ll want to lose weight fast &mdash; whether it&rsquo;s to fit into your dream wedding dress, get rid of that excess baby fat, or drop two sizes to fit into your favourite outfit for an event. Fitness trainer Rohan Gordon says there are ideal exercises for this purpose &mdash; plyometric exercises. These exercises can be done three days a week, and if done correctly and as often as recommended, then you can begin to see results in as little as one month.<br /> <br /> Jump squats<br /> <br /> Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. Lower yourself into a squat and jump as high as possible.<br /> <br /> Push-ups<br /> <br /> Place your hands firmly on the ground. Grind your toes into the ground. Lower your body without touching the ground and push it back up.<br /> <br /> Pull-ups<br /> <br /> Grip a sturdy bar in the gym. Stand straight upright. Slowly lift your body with your knees slightly bent until your chin is above the bar. Slowly lower yourself back to the starting position. Repeat the move.<br /> <br /> Skipping<br /> <br /> Skip for 30 &ndash; 45 minutes. Try not to stop more than 10 times during the entire period.<br /> <br /> Sand training<br /> <br /> Run along the beach in the sand for about 20-30 minutes.<br /> <br /> Jumping jacks <br /> <br /> Stand with your feet together and hands at your side. Jump, bringing your feet out to the side and hands over your head. Immediately go back to the starting position and repeat the move for 15 jumps at a time.<br /> <br /> Box jumps<br /> <br /> Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, at a comfortable distance from the box. Jump up onto the box and drop in squat position for 15 jumps at a time.<br /> <br /> Box line jumps<br /> <br /> Follow the same steps as the box jump. When you get off the first box, step back and run to another box. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13478032/244745_71117_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Pregnancy after weight loss surgery http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Pregnancy-after-weight-loss-surgery_81588 Dr Anna-Kay Taylor CHRISTMAS AS obesity becomes a modern-day health crisis, more and more Jamaicans are going the route of weight loss (bariatric) surgery to aid in permanent weight loss. As a newer weight loss modality, doctors are also getting used to the health and lifestyle changes these surgeries require in their patients. In particular, counselling and treating women who become pregnant after weight loss surgery carries unique challenges that may increase the risk of complications in certain situations. Some common bariatric procedures include gastric banding/balloons, gastric bypass and gastric sleeve surgery.<br /> <br /> Obesity is associated with decreased fertility and difficulty getting pregnant, while in those who do become pregnant, there is an increased risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, C-sections, and infection. A common result of bariatric surgery is improved fertility, and so obstetricians will be seeing more pregnant patients after weight loss surgery. In light of this, here are some special concerns for you if you have done or are considering weight loss surgery:<br /> <br /> 1. Contraceptive/Pre-conception counselling is necessary. The risk of contraceptive failure (especially for hormonal contraceptives) is greater after surgery, so this discussion is important in order to prevent unplanned pregnancies. It is best to switch to a non-hormonal method if possible. After bariatric surgery, a woman should wait 12 to 24 months before conceiving so that the foetus is not affected by rapid maternal weight loss and so that the patient can achieve her weight loss goals. <br /> <br /> 2. The risk of nutrient deficiencies is high after this surgery, especially protein, iron, folate, calcium, and vitamins B12 and D. It may also be difficult to maintain nutrient levels because of nausea and vomiting, so anti-nausea medication will be very important to prevent this. It is also a good idea to see a nutritionist early in the pregnancy so that an appropriate diet plan can be worked out based on the surgery that was done. Your care provider should also do regular checks of vitamin levels and proteins throughout the pregnancy. Smaller, more frequent meals are a good way to prevent this problem. <br /> <br /> 3. Drugs taken by mouth should be monitored closely, because of the risk of poor absorption. Extended-release formulations should be avoided where possible. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (such as ibuprofen) should also be avoided so as to decrease the risk of gastric ulceration. For medications where the drug level is critical (such as seizure or blood-thinning medications), it is best to test the drug levels to ensure they are accurate.<br /> <br /> A great effect of bariatric surgery is decreased risk of pregnancy complications due to the weight loss, such as diabetes and high blood pressure. However, if you are still overweight or obese at the time of pregnancy, then you are still at risk for some of these complications; this is another reason why close monitoring by your doctor is important. Some women cannot tolerate the glucose screening test done at the sixth month, so home glucose monitoring is a good alternative in these patients.<br /> <br /> Bariatric surgery should not affect labour and delivery management (although these patients tend to have a higher risk of C-sections), and normal vaginal delivery is still possible. If abdominal surgery was complicated and extensive, then your obstetrician should consult with the bariatric surgeon before a planned C-section.<br /> <br /> Finally, some patients may suffer from body image issues as they are forced to gain weight as part of a healthy pregnancy. The changes in their bodies can cause some women to try dieting to prevent weight gain, and this can have serious effects on the growing baby. On the other hand, some women may gain more weight than necessary because of the thought of &lsquo;eating for two&rsquo;. It is important to accept that weight gain is essential for a healthy baby, while monitoring your diet to keep it balanced and healthy.<br /> <br /> It is possible to have a safe and healthy pregnancy after weight loss surgery. Close contact with your obstetrician, bariatric surgeon and nutritionist (and psychologist if necessary) will help you to have the best outcome possible. Of course, a bonus would be the love and support of family members who are on board with the treatment plan. <br /> <br /> Dr Anna-Kay Taylor Christmas is a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist at the Obs and Gynae Centre, Winchester Business Centre. She can be contacted at drtaylorchristmas@ gmail.com or 908-3263, 906-2265, 325-7362.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13478037/244742_71118_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM I don&rsquo;t want to move in with him http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/I-don-t-want-to-move-in-with-him_82028 Wayne Powell Dear Counsellor,<br /> <br /> I have been with my boyfriend for five years now and we have a child together. He recently bought a house with a family member and wants me to move in with them. I&rsquo;m very happy and proud of him, but I&rsquo;m also living with my family. The prospect of sharing a one-bedroom house with two other people plus my child is out of the question. <br /> <br /> I hope I&rsquo;m not being inconsiderate, but I just can&rsquo;t leave one inconvenient living situation for another. As you can imagine, this is having a negative impact on our relationship. I do love him a lot, but my love is beginning to fade. Am I being unreasonable? <br /> <br /> Sometimes young couples have to be content with their current situation until they can afford to improve their condition later in life. This includes living accommodation, which is most difficult to come by these days. <br /> <br /> It is not unusual for family members to join resources and purchase a house, which may mean two families sharing a common living space. Although the arrangements might not be ideal, it is more affordable given the available resources at the time.<br /> <br /> One can understand your concerns about moving from one inconvenient setting to another, and sharing accommodations with your boyfriend&rsquo;s family would be most uncomfortable. <br /> <br /> Surely your boyfriend should have discussed with you the decision to purchase a house with his family, and ascertain your feelings on the matter. It may have not changed the decision, but at least you would have had an opportunity to express your opinion and its likely impact on the relationship. It could be that your gentleman had to move quickly on this opportunity as another chance may not come his way anytime soon. <br /> <br /> It is therefore important that you have a serious talk with your boyfriend, expressing your reservations. Maybe you may want to give it a short trial run to see how it goes, but it must be a mutually agreed decision. What about the possibility of adding an extension to the existing building? Could that be a consideration in the medium to long term? <br /> <br /> As you have indicated, your boyfriend must be commended for making a decisive move to secure a house in these difficult economic times. It is left up to you to decide if this living arrangement would be a deal breaker for you.<br /> <br /> Because of your discontent, the relationship is now affected. This conflict needs to be resolved if intimacy is to be restored. No doubt the communication has declined and the subject has become a source of contention. <br /> <br /> It is important to discuss this matter thoroughly to reach a compromise, because the longer you both delay, the wider the gap will be in the relationship. Bear in mind that you both have a child together, and his/her welfare must be considered.<br /> <br /> Wayne Powell is a relationship counsellor. Write to crisscounselloronline@gmail. com; check out his work overseas on www.seekingshalom.org, e-mail powellw@seekingshalom.org.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13478034/244744_71120_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM AW Fashion: Khalil&rsquo;s Hatitude http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/AW-Fashion--Khalil-s-Hatitude_81945 With the second staging of the Diamond Mile slated for Saturday, December 10, you&rsquo;ll understand our absolute joy upon spotting the headwear of self-taught milliner Karl Brown for Khalil&rsquo;s Hatitude on the runway at La Hot Couture fashion showcase. The collection, worn by the elite models of Saint International, featured an eclectic fusion of colours and styles. &ldquo;I am inspired by shades and elements of nature,&rdquo; Brown told All Woman Fashion (AWF), &ldquo;and I bring my pieces to life using fabrics reminiscent of these.&rdquo; Though not formally trained &mdash; perhaps that&rsquo;s why his collection piques such interest &mdash; the designer was inspired six years ago by a woman whom he spotted at his church&rsquo;s convention in Chicago, USA. &ldquo;She was wearing,&rdquo; he explained, &ldquo;the most gorgeous hat ever.&rdquo; They would meet a few days later at a booth where she sold hats. &ldquo;I offered to accessorise one of them... 10 minutes later, it was sold!&rdquo;<br /> <br /> Brown returned home with three of the hats and put out a casual Facebook post titled &ldquo;coming soon&rdquo;. The response was immediate and in short order his business grew, this after sourcing a sewing machine. Six years later, Brown operates a successful business from his home in Portmore, St Catherine, and his hats have found favour with fashionistas locally and internationally.<br /> <br /> AW Fashion suggests you put in your order TODAY! The milliner can be contacted at<br /> <br /> khalilshatitude@yahoo.com or 862-8081. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475590/243941_71107_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475589/243942_71108_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475591/243945_71110_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475592/243947_71112_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475588/243943_71114_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475587/243950_71116_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475594/243946_71111_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475595/243944_71109_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475596/243949_71115_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475597/243948_71113_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475598/243938_71105_repro_w300.jpg http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13475599/243939_71106_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, December 05, 2016 12:00 AM Why she will date two men http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Why-she-will-date-two-men By Miss Kes It is termed &lsquo;risk management&rsquo; in business to keep your options open and have plans in place should Plan A fall short or collapse. Does the same apply to relationships?<br /> <br /> A woman will date more than one man simply because she is trying to figure which one is right for her and her lifestyle. Most people tend to categorise dating as intimate relationships, when it is actually not. Dating is the first phase of a relationship where two people are mostly communicating to determine if they should take it to the next level or totally abandon ship. <br /> <br /> There is therefore absolutely nothing degrading about a woman who understands the concept of risk management and actually applies it to her life. She is simply being cautious and simply protecting herself.<br /> <br /> Once it crosses into intimacy though, it can get more complicated, so it is always best to stick to the platonic  until a decision is made as to who will be the lucky guy.<br /> <br /> But a woman who has her options open is simply a woman who sees it as important to know personalities before she jumps into intimacy.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13474788/date-2_w300.jpg All Woman Friday, December 02, 2016 9:19 AM 3 habits that drive her up the wall http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/3-habits-that-drive-her-up-the-wall By Miss Kes Women are often classified as the more complex sex, but in fact, women are quite simple and once understood, life can be perfect.<br /> <br /> Here are three major habits of men that annoy women.<br /> <br /> #1: Lack of communication<br /> <br /> Many men tend to not communicate on time or effectively. One thing that upsets a woman is sending a message and not having a response shortly after. Women do understand that you can be busy, but when a man is always busy and neglects to communicate with his woman, this definitely will trigger arguments.<br /> <br /> #2: Too close to other women &lsquo;friends&rsquo;<br /> <br /> Women are territorial and if their territory is threatened, it can definitely cause a major issue which can lead to a serious situation. Gentlemen, understand that a woman is not saying you cannot or that you are not allowed to have female friends, she simply desires the security and respect that lines will not be crossed. <br /> <br /> #3: Easily forgets important dates<br /> <br /> Women take birthdays, anniversaries and holidays extremely seriously, and so it can cause major dents to the relationship when her man forgets her birthday or the anniversary of the relationship. <br /> <br /> Gentlemen, take note and ensure that you are not guilty of the habits above!<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13474784/habits_w300.jpg All Woman Friday, December 02, 2016 9:17 AM The major difference between &lsquo;in love&rsquo; and &lsquo;spirit tek&rsquo; http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/The-major-difference-between--in-love--and--spirit-tek- By Miss Kes Many people confuse infatuation with being in love. They tend to believe that love is &lsquo;emotions&rsquo;, but love is more than emotions. It is a magical journey. <br /> <br /> &lsquo;Spirit tek&rsquo; is a Jamaican colloquial term which translates to infatuation. Infatuation is completely devoid of emotions. You&rsquo;ll see someone who&rsquo;s handsome and you are immediately attracted. Infatuation gives an intense desire for someone, but it fades over time as it is dependent on tremors that come and go. <br /> <br /> The major difference between being &lsquo;in love&rsquo; and &lsquo;spirit tek&rsquo; is this &ndash; love never fades, as it is based on a solid decision, while &lsquo;spirit tek&rsquo; is temporary, as it is based upon how one feels. <br /> <br /> How do you know you are in love?<br /> <br /> 1. When you put your partner&rsquo;s wants as your priority. <br /> <br /> 2. When being open about yourself comes easy.<br /> <br /> 3. Being faithful takes no effort.<br /> <br /> 4. You see a bright future with this person.<br /> <br /> 5. There is a deep connection that goes beyond pleasure.<br /> <br /> Signs of infatuation:<br /> <br /> 1. Thinking about the person every minute.<br /> <br /> 2. Intense desire to always be around the person.<br /> <br /> 3. Insecure about where you stand in the person&rsquo;s life.<br /> <br /> 4. Fearful to open yourself fully.<br /> <br /> 5. Being faithful is a guessing game.<br /> <br /> There is a clear line of demarcation between being love and being infatuated with someone and the difference is within the substance of that connection.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13474769/infat_w300.jpg All Woman Friday, December 02, 2016 9:16 AM Can someone cheat and still love you? http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Can-someone-cheat-and-still-love-you- By Miss Kes Cheating is not accidental or incidental, it is a clear choice. Some cases are even premeditated. You cannot be unfaithful and proclaim love for your partner. You are simply lying to your relationship and ultimately yourself.<br /> <br /> It can be argued that a person may step out of their relationship because one partner is slacking in putting the priorities of the relationship on center stage, and so to attain some form of fulfillment, that person decides to step out and have a lover on the side. One may even say, &ldquo;If I am not getting what I truly need in my relationship, is not only fair for me to seek it elsewhere?&rdquo;<br /> <br /> But no, you should not even allow that thought to cross your mind once in a committed relationship. Why should you lie to someone and give them the reassurance that you are indeed in love and faithful when you are actually doing the opposite?<br /> <br /> If one partner has to step out, it could simply mean something is going awry as people don&rsquo;t just throw away something they value and love or something they are enjoying. When you love and cherish anything in your life, it is evident by how you take care of it and even how you speak of it. <br /> <br /> Cheating is one of the highest levels of disrespect. Not only does it belittle your relationship, it dims the value of your partner to others. The idea of stepping out and cheating should crack the very heart of your partner. No one who claims to be deeply in love or love someone should freely give up their faithfulness. Love requires sacrifice, so before you quote to yourself, your partner, and others that you love your partner, ask yourself if they are worth fighting for not only in the good times but also the challenging periods.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13474767/cheat-love_w300.jpg All Woman Friday, December 02, 2016 9:15 AM The importance of intimacy http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/The-importance-of-intimacy By Miss Kes Here are seven reasons why sex and intimacy are extremely important in your relationship.<br /> <br /> #1: It bonds you to your lover. Sex indeed is the highest level of intimacy as it not only allows for pleasure, but it forms a knot between souls.<br /> <br /> #2: It boosts your mood. When a woman who loves her man is sexually pleased, a man doesn&rsquo;t have to ask for a meal, she cooks, and if she can&rsquo;t, she makes it her priority to learn. A woman in love who is intimately taken care of will go above and beyond for her man. <br /> <br /> #3: It keeps you looking young as it exercises not only your mind but your body. Medically, it has been noted and published that sex is a great way to shed a few stubborn pounds.<br /> <br /> #4: You sleep like a baby!<br /> <br /> #5: It is a great way to keep your relationship afloat. If sex is done in healthy and creative ways, your partner will never have a moment where they complain or ever snap at you.<br /> <br /> #6: It takes your relationship to a deeper level of understanding. <br /> <br /> #7: It&rsquo;s the stress buster! Sex is indeed a great way to temporarily escape from the realities of life. <br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13474765/inti_w300.jpg All Woman Friday, December 02, 2016 9:13 AM On cougars and &lsquo;bosses&rsquo; http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/On-cougars-and--bosses- By Miss Kes A woman dates a young guy and she is a cougar. A man dates a young woman and he is the &lsquo;boss&rsquo;.<br /> <br /> Why this hypocrisy? It has been part of our culture for too long that a man can do anything and still remain decent, while a woman who does the same will wear the Scarlet A.<br /> <br /> This is a crazy double standard! Just like men, women do have preferences in the type of men they desire. Some women desire their men to be of a certain height, complexion, and yes, age, and the same goes for men. A young woman may desire to date an older man because she feels more secure in that type of relationship, and a woman in her 50s may simply be interested in young men because they excite her. And her preference should be respected. But people will be quick to categorise the young woman as a gold-digger and the older woman as a cougar. While this can be true in some cases, when men do the same thing, nothing is said about them in a derogatory way.<br /> <br /> It may be frowned upon when there are vast age differences between partners, but both sexes should be equally berated, if that is the reaction. But when a man sleeps around and he is given a crown, and a woman is given the thumbs down, this is a problem. If a woman is going to be reprimanded for targeting a young man the same age as her son, the man of 50 who zones in on young women in their 20s should also be chided.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13469999/psst_w300.jpg All Woman Thursday, December 01, 2016 5:54 AM Now that you&rsquo;ve met his mother&hellip; http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Now-that-you-ve-met-his-mother- By Miss Kes Are you exclusive now that you&rsquo;ve met his mother? This is a question many women ask themselves when they&rsquo;re elevated to the position where they are invited home to meet the family. And indeed, this is an actual milestone.<br /> <br /> Ladies, if he is taking you to meet his parents, it is 99.9 per cent possible that you are indeed exclusive. Men, especially those who are family-oriented, don&rsquo;t just introduce every woman they date or sleep with to their families. For a man to do this, it simply means that the relationship has escalated to another level. It must be noted, however, that not because he introduces you to his parents, means that you are about to walk down the aisle in your white dress.<br /> <br /> Many women jump the broom before the man actually goes on his knees and asks for their hand in marriage, and this can totally destroy the perception of what a relationship ought to be. Lesson here: take every aspect of your relationship in stride.<br /> <br /> So when he strikes up the conversation about meeting his parents, here are three golden rules to adhere to:<br /> <br /> Rule #1: Be YOU! Avoid pretense as this will be quite evident and the parents will not appreciate a fake woman for their son. Relax and speak with confidence. But avoid being too friendly, as this can be a total turn-off.<br /> <br /> Rule #2: Be respectful. This not only applies to your manners but even your dress code. You are about to meet your man&rsquo;s parents. Avoid tight-fitting clothes and those that should you sneeze, would leave you naked. <br /> <br /> Rule 3: Be present. Try to be engaged in the conversation. Zoning off or out can come off as disrespectful. This also applies to being totally immersed in your cellphone!<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13469968/meet_w300.jpg All Woman Thursday, December 01, 2016 5:45 AM Why he will cheat http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Why-he-will-cheat By Miss Kes It has been said by many experts that while women mostly cheat because of emotional abandonment or abuse, men cheat because they are lustful. But what many fail to understand is that men do have emotions too, and like women, they also need to feel loved, appreciated and respected. <br /> <br /> There are several reasons why a man will cheat on his woman. The number one reason, believe it or not, is that his woman forgets his emotional needs. A woman will meet a man, fall in love, she starts to make love to him on the regular, she cooks, she cleans, she bends her back, and several months down the line, all this just stops. She doesn&rsquo;t even ask him how he is doing and this will signal to the man that he is being taken for granted or not valued as he used to be. Unfortunately this pushes him into either chasing other women, or seeking another as a back-up.<br /> <br /> Ladies, it is therefore your prerogative to ensure that you make your man know and feel like he is indeed your king. Do not abandon your role as his queen. If you started the relationship asking him how was his day and catering to his intimate needs and fulfilling his lustful cravings, don&rsquo;t stop. Men are observant, and while some may not express how they feel with words, emotions cannot hide themselves and it will definitely be visible in how he relates to you.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13469920/aw-cheat_w300.jpg All Woman Thursday, December 01, 2016 5:38 AM Too young to be a mother? http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Too-young-to-be-a-mother- By Miss Kes Being a mother is not just a title or a label, it is a sacrifice. It takes a strong mind and body to raise a child. It also takes money, and with the tendency of some men to get up and walk out, you also have to be prepared to stand alone.<br /> <br /> It is understandable that life happens and people do get pregnant at times when they are not ready, especially in the teenage and young adult years. And so, a woman must be ready to accept the consequences that follow when she engages in sexual activities. <br /> <br /> Consider these factors:<br /> <br /> 1. It will be your responsibility to financially take care of your baby. Most times this puts a major dent in your savings and future plans, and if you are a teen, you will probably be required to pause your education.<br /> <br /> 2. Your fun times will be put on hold. Having a baby is not the same as having a doll. You cannot play with it and put it down and move on to other things. You will be required to ensure your baby&rsquo;s every needs are met.<br /> <br /> 3. You are a &ldquo;nurturer&rdquo;. It is your role as a mother to ensure you comfort your baby, which means that your mental capacity has to be at a healthy place.<br /> <br /> Being a mother is no walk in the park. It takes a major sacrifice. Are you really ready?<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13470034/mom_w300.jpg All Woman Thursday, December 01, 2016 5:00 AM