Opening the closet of secrets

By Miss Kes

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Print this page Email A Friend!


When it comes to marriage, some people view it as the ultimate decision one could possibly make in life – one that demands total honesty and transparency. But how far should you go in revealing all, in order to secure the trust before tying the knot?


I think it is best to put all the cards on the table because the worst thing you could do in any relationship is deceive someone about who you really are. Those things always backfire at the wrong time, so I believe you should expose yourself and let the man decide if he can handle it, or not. If he cannot handle it, well he is simply not the one for you so count your blessings and move forward.


There are some aspects of a woman's life that should remain between herself and God. Sometimes when you share everything the man uses it to judge you, and I can surely attest to that because what I shared with my then fiancé was used to curse me out in my now marriage. So ladies, keep a lid on certain things regardless of whether he is fiancé or husband.


I was abused as a child by my father and it wasn't something, as anyone could imagine, that I didn't want to deal with growing up.  I have not told a soul apart from my close friend who knew about it and of course my mother, but no one else knew. When I met my husband, he always had questions about my childhood and my parents but I just wouldn't reveal all -- until we got engaged and I thought it was the right thing to do. I shared what happened and believe it or not, the man called the engagement off and said it was too much for him and he wanted a stable woman. I say all this to say, I think it is best to protect you and leave certain experiences where they belong – in the past.


I think it is okay to share certain past experiences, but be careful. I once told a man I was seeing about my abusive ex, and after five months of being with each other, we had a major argument and he slapped me in the face and then told me he understood why my ex used to whoop me. Ladies, take notes from me, do not share anything about your past relationships or you will regret it.


Share, but do not go too deep. I do tell my husband about who I was and my journey before I met him but there are some things I keep to myself because I still am my own person, though I am married.


Now you can read the Jamaica Observer ePaper anytime, anywhere. The Jamaica Observer ePaper is available to you at home or at work, and is the same edition as the printed copy available at




1. We welcome reader comments on the top stories of the day. Some comments may be republished on the website or in the newspaper � email addresses will not be published.

2. Please understand that comments are moderated and it is not always possible to publish all that have been submitted. We will, however, try to publish comments that are representative of all received.

3. We ask that comments are civil and free of libellous or hateful material. Also please stick to the topic under discussion.

4. Please do not write in block capitals since this makes your comment hard to read.

5. Please don't use the comments to advertise. However, our advertising department can be more than accommodating if emailed:

6. If readers wish to report offensive comments, suggest a correction or share a story then please email:

7. Lastly, read our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy

comments powered by Disqus



Today's Cartoon

Click image to view full size editorial cartoon