No filter: When kids say the darndest things

All Woman

WE all know that kids have no filter at all; they say the darndest things. This means if you are parent or guardian to a toddler you want to remember three important things — they see everything, hear everything and perhaps the worst of all, they repeat everything. And if you aren't careful, while you may have some pretty hilarious experiences, you might be in for some pretty embarrassing days as well. Have no clue how messy things can get? Check out what these face-palming parents shared below.

Kathy, legal secretary, 37:

My daughter and I went to the pharmacy and I picked up my monthly supply of sanitary napkins. Anyway, I turned away for a minute not realising that my daughter had put another pack on the counter. So the cashier asked, do you need this third pack? Before I could respond my daughter proceeded to tell the lady, 'yes, because [with mummy] a pack of these just disappears'. I'm sure I turned lobster red with embarrassment.

Kevine, 26, sales agent:

My son knew all the bad words out there by the time he was three. He is a very curious child and every time he'd hear one he would ask me what it was. I told him, “It's a word that you're not supposed to say”, so of course he saved them up in his memory for times he would get angry or be naughty for attention and then he would just say them out loud. We never used them at home, but he picked them up on the road. When he said them people would say things like, 'I woulda box him over you see', and look at me like I was a soft parent for not hitting him when he swore in public.

Kadeen, 30, cashier:

I walked in to pick up my daughter from pre-school one day and another mother was there collecting her child. She said to me, “You better be careful what you say around this one, she nuh keep nothing.” So when she left I asked the teacher what exactly she said. The teacher said she had told the lady all about my husband being abroad, how her brother still wet the bed, even though he was big, and how I let her wear the same socks to school two days in a row.

Nadine, 27, stay-at-home mom:

My four-year-old doesn't say really naughty things, but one time she was playing Little Miss Nancy with her friends after church and when it got to the “When you see a ugly girl” part she left the circle and came over to me to cut her eye at me. Everyone started laughing. It stung a little.

Ashley, 35, farmer:

My son, at the time about four-years-old, came home one day with some common fowl eggs, Manna Rice, and I think it was two cans of soup. Curious as to why he had these things, I kept asking him until he eventually confessed that the teacher gave him them, but did not say the reason. When I called the teacher she told me he went hunting for the eggs and when she pressed him about why he had disturbed the hen, he broke down and said there was no food at home and he was hungry. Now I am a farmer, the only animal I don't raise doesn't exist, and I plant a variety of foods. We even have egg-laying chickens; I was so embarrassed.

Tatiana, 31, masseuse:

My son can't really talk yet, but I taught him “stinky” for defecate. So he just thinks it means to use the potty and I also say stinky when changing his diaper so he kind of associates it with his genitals. Once I went to get KFC with him in a pair of tights and he touched my genitals and said “stinky” while we waited in line.

Hailey, 40, writer:

A few years ago, my then three-year-old old was getting ready for career day. I was also having brunch with close to 12 ladies from my high school batch. Anyway, when they heard about career day, one of the ladies who was a fashion designer offered to make my daughter a custom outfit. We are Law and Order junkies, but the last I spoke to her she said she wanted to be a doctor so it came as quite a surprise when she told the lady she wanted to be a “prostitute”. I was jolted. Turns out what she actually meant was that she wants to become a prosecutor.

Short man, 43, taxi driver:

My mother always said “blooming jackass” to anyone who didn't do something properly, or who did something stupid. My daughter had just turned three and a parent came to her school cussing the teacher and dragging his child's hands. My child saw what was going on and got up and shouted “blooming jackass” at him in front of the principal and everybody.

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