Men v women in the workplace... No winner

RO Communications

Yvonne Grinam-Nicholson

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

This male versus female jungle, the gender divide, particularly in the area of workplace communication, is a virtual no-man's land (pun intended). Neither you nor I want to tiptoe onto that shrapnel littered field, to name a winner in that eternal debate about who is the more effective communicator in the office space. For many, it boils down to the question of who would I rather prefer to be my boss — Jane or John?

I myself have male colleagues who would prefer to be horse-drawn and quartered rather than report to a woman. These insist that their former female bosses tend to be either shrill, micro-managing and/or emotional viragos. On the other hand there are some men who do not mind taking daily instructions from women. Then there are my female friends who would rather be dressed like jackasses at festival time, than report to a woman, preferring instead the steady bass and stern aloofness of the male boss. Some women I know say they prefer to report to another women who they think are more likely to sympathise with them.

I know for a fact too that there are corporate offices in this fair isle of ours headed by women who have absolutely no interest in hiring women in their establishments for certain positions. The truth is though, that if you own the shop that is certainly your prerogative. Then there are the people like you and I to whom, it makes no difference who doles out the corporate dirt on a daily basis. It's all the same to us. Our clarion call is 'next!'. So, who do 'they' say is the better communicator in the office? Whose communication style is better in the workplace — men or women?

Carol Kinsey Goman, PhD, speaker and author of among other books, The Nonverbal Advantage — Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work feels that, "there is no "best" communication style for all workplace interactions." She states that, "Women have the edge in collaborative environments (where listening skills, inclusive body language, and empathy are more highly valued), and men are seen to "take charge" more readily (and viewed as more effective in environments where decisiveness is critical)."

Women are often described as being perhaps too emotional for the office situation. You know the type as well as I do, who will pull out all the so-called feminine wiles to get her way. She is Madame Drama Queen, who will swoon at the drop of a hat; act like the coquette and if all else fails wail as if she just lost the last 50 per cent marked down pair of Jimmy Choos to a shopping rival. To watch her in action is to observe an Emmy award winning acting great wow the audience on Broadway. The only thing missing is the director's voice of cueing, "exit stage right". She is that good. But I ask, you, haven't we too seen some of our strong men-folk engaged in this self-same act of emotional overflow? Perhaps our men may not publicly cry and flail, but they are certainly known to pull one or a dozen show-stoppers, often coming near to tears, or else, are loud and rampant in righteous indignation in the Board room, when events are not panning out in their favour. Through the use of emotional overplay, both these men and women get their own way. "A man's ability to hold his emotions in check and to "keep a poker face" is viewed as an advantage in business situations. A woman's tendency to show her feelings more outwardly in gestures and facial expressions is perceived as a weakness," says Goman.

Goman feels that that the top three communication weaknesses for females are being: overly emotional; meandering -- won't get to the point and not authoritative. I am not sure I agree with this broad assessment of meandering style, as I am sure, you like I, have sat and listened patiently to a thousand meandering speeches and pitches from men while we wait for the cows to come home. The truth is that men do this just as well as women, because to some people there is no more melodious sound than that of their own voices.

Being authoritative has come to be recognised as the domain of the testosterone-driven men. It is said that in the workplace it is the men who use this quality most to their advantage. However, over the course of my work-life I have seen in action some women who seem possessed with more testosterone than, Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger aka 'The Terminator' and 'Hulk' Hogan, both rolled into one. The no-nonsense and seemingly callous approach to decision-making by these women belies the male-testosterone-authoritative theory. I would have to conclude that this is no longer the male-only sphere.

The characteristics of being "overly blunt and direct'; insensitive to audience reactions and too confident in their own opinion" are said to be the top communication weaknesses of males in the workplace, says Goman. The workplace is where we spend most of our waking lives, rubbing shoulders with our workmates and working with them cheek to jowl. Generously lathering up this experience with the idiosyncrasies of gender differences makes for a seething caldron at times what with competing communication styles, some good, some better and some just downright awful. Like our beloved Jack Mandora, I must confess. I choose none.

Yvonne Grinam-Nicholson, (MBA, ABC) is a Business Communications Consultant with ROCommunications Jamaica, specialising in business communications and financial publications. She can be contacted at: yvonne@rocommunications.com. Visit her website at www.rocommunications.com and post your comments.

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Men v women in the workplace... No winner