Let's get ready to "RRRRRumble"

JAMES MOSS-SOLOMON

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Once again we are approaching the silly season. Political sparring, supplementary budgets, accusations of impropriety, violent confrontations, threats to attorneys, nurses, and walkouts are all in vogue. All fruits ripe! The only positive sign is that boxing may be the beneficiary, if we can promote and sell the tickets and television rights. As if this was not enough, smoke from ganja rises in the USA.

Round 1: The "rice wars" seem ready to begin, but not in the usual way. The drought throughout the region has impacted agriculture in a negative way, and Guyana is no exception. They have not effectively husbanded one of the items which they have in abundance - water - with three mighty rivers at their disposal. By so doing, they have left themselves opened to the US Rice Producers Association, who will seek every opportunity to undermine them. So begins another round of US versus Guyana. Please place your bets.

Round 2: The Supplementary Budget tabled in Parliament and the Budget for 2010/2011 indicate that the sparring match with the IMF is about to resume, and a date has already been set for a quarterly preview. This is definitely a heavyweight match-up, which pits Audley "Man a Yard" against "Darth Vader and the Evil Empire". Who will take the crown? Can the Government manage the $100-billion cuts in the new financial year in a way that does not ruin what remains of their credibility? It can be done, but this requires change in an open and humane way.

Round 3: The contractor general, "Hot Licks" Christie, has already floored so many adversaries that he is quickly running out of any worthy opponents. "The Jamaica Boxing Journal" is predicting that he will opt to go up in weight class, having outgrown the flyweights. This will spell serious trouble for the "unseen hands" who manipulate without taking responsibility, so fat cats beware!

Round 4: At the weighing-in press conference, "Battling Edith" is crying foul on "Pernicious Pearnel" for associating her with former police champion Reneto DeCordova Valentino "the Enforcer" Adams. Some persons are saying that in his previous avocation as a trade unionist, Pearnel advocated that employers treat workers with respect, and now that the tables have turned he has changed his tune. This bout is sure to become an "autoclaps" of national significance if the vitriolic comments continue.

Round 5: "Bruce on the loose" has told Dorothy "the Darling" that if any attempt is made to step into the ring with him, she had better bring her own stretcher. It is amazing to note the silence of her colleagues, those "legal luminaries" who defend the rights of citizens and the justice system, ad nauseam. Sometimes even an attorney general needs a little protection from veiled and unveiled threats.

Round 6: Back at the Forum, "Sista" the most Honourable P continues to walk around the ring and then leave, taking her entire entourage, including Peter Peter and Omar "the greatest magician". By avoiding the ring, her supporters are left to wonder if the last major encounter for the Championship has left her with cold feet. As the people's champion, she may have to review the "rope a dope" tactics, and allow for some serious punching.

Round 7: "Kicking Karl" has again left boxing and gone to wrestling. There, he and his Tag Team must fight the TCL, Caricom Secretariat, and the CCJ, before any result can be declared. The technical answer required for resolution of this grudge match depends on the results of investigations into the supply sources, and whether this can be handled by a concrete lack or slag analysis. The fight promises to be furious after the singing of the Caricom Anthem, "No man is an island".

Round 7: In the meantime, while waiting for extradition to the USA, the "San Francisco Chronicle" of March 17 reports that the father and son were in possession of 70 plants, two illegal guns, scales, baggies and an illegal power-sapping device. They were acquitted by the jury as they had a doctor's prescription for medicinal ganja. The doctor said the herb smoking would be good for arthritis, nightmares, schizophrenia, neck pain, and many other maladies. What a turn it could take if Dudus produces a prescription and claims a handicapped waiver. There is a reluctance to deal with the reality that ganja is an important crop in the USA. The US is reluctant to prosecute its own citizens effectively, and this does not seem to be much more than a non-tariff barrier. Perhaps this has encouraged us to take them lightly.

Round 8: In the Wignall "the Doc" versus all would-be incumbents and aspirants to the crown, all title contenders of the age of dinosaurs have been declared unfit. Some of the younger ones are suspected of being infected by the political virus. Only a possible three or 10 per cent are noticeable in early-morning workouts. The "Doc" promises further lab results soon, and will deal with all second-tier or "settlers' class" promptly. Perhaps he could extend his tests to the other camp, and better inform the gambling public of his findings.

To leave the boxing ring and use a horse-racing euphemism:

"Horse is horse, class is class, and donkey don't business in a Derby!"

On a serious note, however, the problems facing us are large and require focused attention from our political representatives. Inattention and rude behaviour have no place in the classroom of governance. The people are watching like never before, so be careful, as any further nonsense will force them to send you to the "naughty corner", or to expel you from school.

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COMMENTS (3)

Paul Lewis
3/21/2010

This is hilarious, I can hardly stop laughing.It is only the seriousness of the situation that jolts me to reality. Here are all these jokers, who had been begging for a chance to show what they could do. Well, after the 18 year wait we are presented with all these recycled old windbags. These relics of the past that have contributed to the fierce partisanship in Jamaica , now dusted off and foisted upon us once again. The nerve of the Trade Unionist, to almost get into a tracing match with the nurses, when these people have slaved under extremely hostile conditions, with no thanks.His memory seems to be rather short and his rewards have been far greater than his input . I have a daughter who is a nurse , so I am biased. Bruce I have contributed to your party and I have tried to convince all to give you a chance ,so far I am sorely disappointed. I am not a partisan, I am a patriotic Jamaican living in the U.S. but I am nearing my time to come home. Looking at the present conditions, I can see no real hope to return to a Jamaica that has moved into the civil world. With these clowns and the attitude of the people I wonder. The P.M., literally daring his Justice Minister to make an informed and independent decision, leaves me to assume that the citizens are governed by a petty dictator. It was refreshing to see an M.P. "standing up " for his area , weather that was for real or grandstanding ,I dont know. Bringing back the same clowns and the same acts isn't worth the the price of admission . Maybe if we change the MAGICIAN !!!!!.

JA Cynic
3/21/2010

Lets get ready to RRRRumble or Lets get ready to Tumble?
JA Cynic

JA Cynic
3/21/2010

A rolling stone gathers no moss--a famous saying aptly describing the account.
It is time for a new musical: Bangarang on Broadway
It stars Prezi and Brady Rex.Singing is profuse and not confind to sankeys as none will find there way back home, in the near future, having travelled to the US visa-free.
The choir seems in excess of 20--all of considerable wealth or influence.
Those old enough will remember the political satire "8 O'Clock Jamaica Time"
JA Cynic

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GCT to go down, white rum prices going up

Let's get ready to "RRRRRumble"