The vanishing institution of Christian marriage

Anthony Gomes

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The unravelling of society's moral fibre continues with the vanishing institution of Christian marriage. With some 200 new divorces before the courts each month, the death knell of Christian matrimony can be clearly heard accompanied by the renewed fatuous call for term-limited marriage licences! In 2009 there were 1853 divorces in Jamaica, that is 8.65 divorces for every 100 marriages, accompanied by advertisements in the press offering "Quick divorces"!

The exceptional divorce rate is an indictment of the numerous imperfect choices made by aspiring partners. In one parish church, the number of divorces exceeds the number of marriages solemnised. That does not augur well for future matrimonial unions between a man and a woman. This symptom of societal decadence makes one wonder why so many marriages are ending in dissolution. A number of adverse reasons come to mind, and taken singularly many of them do not amount to substantial reasons for creating a fatal rupture in the relationship. This could indicate a lack of determination to make the marriage work, and reflect the ease with which divorce can be obtained in civil unions, that in many cases are not recognised by the Christian churches who can still grant nullity in selected cases.

Marriage is not a "bed of roses" as often heard in the popular quip: "Marriage is a three ring circus. First comes the engagement ring, followed by the wedding ring, and then comes the suffering"! The Roman Catholic Church acknowledges the vagaries of how stresses and strains can affect a relationship thus: "Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This experience makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman. Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. This disorder can manifest itself more or less acutely, and can be more or less overcome, according to the circumstances of cultures, eras, and individuals, but it does seem to have a universal character" (Art1606-Catechism). "According to faith, the disorder we notice so painfully does not stem from the nature of man and woman, nor from the nature of their relations, but from sin. As a break with God, the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman. Their relations were distorted by mutual recriminations; their mutual attraction, the Creator's own gift, changed into a relationship of domination and lust; and the beautiful vocation of man and woman to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth was burdened by the pain of childbirth and the toil of work" (1606-Catechism).

On the wider horizon, the situation is more troubling and summarised as follows: "Once the very cradle of civilisation, Europe has embraced a secular future, and the residual memory of the Christian tradition is fading fast," according to Dr R Albert Mohler of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. He continues: "Switzerland, Germany, and the Netherlands, once the cradles of the Reformation, are now prime examples of Europe's secular shape. Throughout the European continent, Islam is the only religion growing in the number of adherents. Others looking at the same pattern of secularisation point to the impact of theological liberalism, the rise of a technological society, and the cultural shift towards autonomous individualism, as the main factors behind Christianity's decline. The decline of Christian belief in Europe has also brought a change in attitudes and laws on issues such as divorce, abortion, gay marriage and stem cell research. As Christian conviction declines, Christian morality gives way to the ethos of moral individualism, sexual libertinism, and eroding commitment to marriage, children, and family". The foregoing encapsulates the torrent of sinister forces which are infiltrating Christian societies, leading to their diminution.

In Jamaica's case, enlightened parenting is the first step towards restoring Christian principles in the family unit. However, when children are giving birth to babies fathered by children, the remedial process becomes very complicated without outside assistance from the churches and schools. Children born to children are usually left with grandparents for their upbringing. It is this formative stage which will influence the behaviour of the young adult, which must be able to decipher the difference between right and wrong.

The permissive society in which we live has corrupted Christian moral values to such an extent that all aspects of aberrant social behaviour can be justified. Defections from formal religious practice have intensified with the advent of "generic Christians", who choose to worship the Creator in their own way. "Condemn the sin, not the sinner" is a popular oxymoron, as the existence of the sin is dependent on its commission by the sinner. A universal panacea in the remedial process is longer terms of engagement, to allow the aspirants to improve their knowledge of each other, before taking matrimonial vows that are binding "until death do us part".

"In his preaching Jesus unequivocally taught the original meaning of the union of man and woman as the Creator willed it from the beginning: permission given by Moses to divorce one's wife was a concession to the hardness of hearts. The matrimonial union of man and woman is indissoluble: God himself has determined it: "what therefore God as joined together, let no man put asunder".

Apostle Paul makes clear when he says: "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her." As the popular song says: "Look back before you leave my life."

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COMMENTS (9)

Meat Head
11/17/2011

Sometimes the past looks good because we have forgotten what it was really like. Take the "securalization" comment, why would anyone believe Europe was ever Christian, with all it's wars, the Crusades, the pogroms against the Jews, the inquisition, finally capped by the murder and enslavement of millions of innocent Africans. My guess is that with securalization, we, even in Jamaica, are living lives that most of our ancestors would die for.

Jaye Stone
11/17/2011

Fear not; behold, I bring you good tidings. Christianity will never vanish from Jamaica. No matter how feeble its impact on the society, the faith will continue to thrive, as it does wherever rational thinking is in short supply. I am surprised the writer neglected to mention the other features of the secular societies of Western Europe, viz, the high crime, the illiteracy, the endemic corruption and pervasive poverty!

Neka Nehu
11/16/2011

Marriage is of God and the devil will try anything to destroy that institution. We have to let God choose our partners and help us to live daily.

howie J
11/16/2011

@0o k, it would be sad if Christianity vanishes from Jamaica before Jamaica gets the opportunity to understand Christianity.

Phil Oiseaubay
11/16/2011

Divorce or failure to marry is JUST a symptom of the ills facing J'a. My guess is that it's the dire economy that's the crux here. The church only fuels that fire by not calling out corruption that is rampant, especially at the top, and promoting unrealistic optimism over personal responsibility ("Just pray the bad away.") The church has a role here, especially since J'a has one of the world's highest rates clergy per capita but, it persists in a feel-good strategy.

Cee Dubya
11/16/2011

Excellent piece, Mr. Gomes. Thank you! I'm not a "generic Christian". I'm saved by Jesus Christ who died for my sins; the power of the Holy Spirit and the love & mercy of my heavenly Father. But, "condemn the sin, not the sinner," makes sense to me. Jesus ate/visited/talked with sinners, even as others mocked! "I came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance," He said. Also, "...neither do I condemn thee; go and sin no more." If HE doesn't, then...? Just glad He makes the distinction.

The Patriot
11/16/2011

95% of divorce started by women. Marriage has become the biggest transfer of wealth from man to woman since slavery. Marriage has become a business contract with no benefits to men. Common law marriage is not accepted, you will soon seen these breaking up at the 4 year point where the woman under law cannot file for half of the mans worth. Alternative lifestyles are being force down our throats, children are being told they can have their own way and men are being demonized. These are the facts

Beresford Davidson
11/16/2011

In a marriage between man and woman; both should know from the initial stages that trouble come looking first to break up the marriage and second to justify contempt for one or another when money, promises and opportunities of a better life becomes an issue.

0o k
11/16/2011

I hope everything Christian vanishes in Jamaica.

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The vanishing institution of Christian marriage