Tara Abrahams-Clivio

My mother is a pragmatic woman. Whenever it came time to make a decision she would pull out a pen and paper and start to write a list. A list of pros and cons that would be tallied at the end of the exercise, and then based on pure numerical dominance the decision would be made. Being somewhat less pragmatic I would always take note of which side I was craftily devising pros for, and realise that that was the side my heart was really on, and go with that. It was one such list that led me back to live in Jamaica just 10 years ago, having finished my masters degree, and it was a decision of the heart.

They say that if you are not an idealist in your 20s there is something wrong with your heart, and if you are not a capitalist in your 40s there is something wrong with your head. Realising that idealism brought me back to Jamaica and that capitalism causes me now to question my choice, also that perhaps coincidentally I am moving further from my 20s and closer to my forties, maybe it is time for a new list!

Reasons to leave Jamaica:

1. Despite the best efforts to save, an exceedingly high cost of living coupled with the joys of devaluation and a high level of inflation have meant that I have never been able to save as much as I did when I lived overseas. The knowledge that for most, saving will be a life-long impossibility.

2. A lawless society that results in anarchy on the roads, gross littering on all our streets, illegal dumping on our most beautiful mountain roads, polluted seas, and a proliferation of signs that just make our potentially beautiful surroundings unpleasant.

3. A total lack of emergency services. That may not now seem like much, but you wait until your house is on fire and you call for help and it doesn't come or comes without water; or when your loved one has collapsed on the floor and you call 119 and they don't answer the phone, and you can't get urgent medical care at our largest and most modern hospital.

4. A knowledge that the best way to get ahead is to break the law, and daily reminders that when you do, the entire country will just accept it. As a politician once said with particular honesty, "If you play by the rules you get shafted."

5. A poor education system that does not seem to encourage anyone to reach their full potential, leaves much of our population illiterate and ignorant, and is causing our social strata to become even more segregated as those who can afford it are seeking private education or in many cases education overseas.

6. Our tax system is such that if you pay them then you are the last idiot around, and then you are also faced with the question each month of why on earth you are paying education tax when few people are being educated, then you pay for the HEART programme because graduates leave school uneducated and are unemployable, so need a skill.
You pay NIS so that when you are old you can get enough money to buy your monthly stock of icy mints. You pay NHT so that it can be a cash-rich organisation that has no customers, as most people in need of an NHT loan are not actually contributors, but fall into our ever-expanding "informal" sector who will just "squat" undisturbed on any land, even in our most prestigious areas while we, their neighbours, pay property tax. But, hey, nice park though! Then there is the killer PAYE, this is just salt in the wounds of points 1 to 5.

7. While it is very fulfilling as a cultural venue if you like dancehall (and in my 20s I sure did) as a mother, what you really need is a park with some swings and without the stench of urine.

8. The particular fascination our men have to urinate in public, and to tirelessly, yet rather uselessly, direct traffic.

9. The fact that I had a power cut yesterday and the day before, and most days I have no water as I live three feet above sea level, so I resort constantly to a water tank.

10. Politicians who seem intent on keeping us back with corruption and violence still rampant, and the perpetuation of ignorant attitudes such as bullyism and reverse racism used for political gain.

Reasons to stay in Jamaica:

1. The colour of your skin or some other stereotype will not define you for the rest of your life.

2. An education system that may not provide your child with a white board in each class, but your child is a lot less likely to use that white stuff in the locker room. Our kids have been known to take knives to school but we haven't yet had too many cases of them turning up dressed in trench coats equipped with semi-automatic machine guns and embarking on a premeditated murder fest.

3. Jamaicans are just cool, and we know it. A concept that doesn't seem to do much for our economic sector but our music industry sure is rocking.

4. Our murder rate is through the roof, yet there is a sense that there are patterns and you can take steps to avoid it. There are not too many cases of Jamaicans kidnapping children and killing them for no apparent reason. We have not had too many cases of our murderers cutting up bodies and keeping the parts stored in freezers as a hobby.

5. Who wants to work 10-hour days while constantly stabbing your co-workers in the back and having to discuss endlessly the merits of certain prescription drugs with your superiors, all just to get that corner office? Here, basically, if you can read and speak English you're well on your way!
6. If you live overseas your children are likely to develop a foreign accent, and without being specific, I'm not sure if I could deal with that.

7. You are less likely to get drafted here to go and fight in a war for a reason that will constantly elude you. When last I heard the reason for the war in Iraq, it was no longer weapons of mass destruction, but to save the poor Iraqis. Well, based on their more recent signs of gratitude, we can safely throw out that reason. Next?

8. Better the devil you know.

9. Being in a small pond has its drawbacks, but at least I know all the other fish in my school and we stick together nicely; drowning alone in a big, cold and grey pond sure wouldn't be my idea of a good time!

10 - 20. Ackee and salt fish, dumplings, stew peas, oxtail, Bob Marley, Christmas breeze, Jamaicans laughing, my friends - and there is no place like home.

Plus, the good news is, I am not getting as old as I thought I was, definitely still 25 at heart!

Executive Class

Gardens with Gravel

Death to the Mullet!