Abandoning elderly relatives a cruel act

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

We are moved by the Sunday Observer's revelation that some Jamaicans are abandoning their elderly relatives in the St Ann's Bay Hospital and, even worse, refusing to accept them back home after their hospitalisation.

The story of Rosemarie, the 86-year-old woman who has been living in the hospital since 2008, is enough to melt the coldest of hearts.

No member of her family, she said, had bothered to visit her. In fact, according to Rosemarie, her relatives had turned over her care and well-being to Jesus.

That kind of neglect is not easy to accept, and that was obvious in her sotto voce comment during the interview: "Sometimes I feel like jumping through the window."

While we do not get the impression that the treatment meted out to Rosemarie is widespread, we cannot accept the fact that it is being done. Indeed, the Sunday Observer reported that Rosemarie is one of nine such senior citizens at the St Ann's Bay Hospital and that there were 27 abandoned senior citizens there in 2008.

Equally disturbing is the experience of social workers who report that when they try to return some of these seniors to their relatives, the attempt is greeted with threats of violence.

"We have had cases where persons have picked up stones to stone us or draw knives at us when we go to return their relatives, and so we have to call the police to come in and assist us," said Ms Kerrian Adair-Campbell, one of two social workers at the hospital.

The problem is so bad that, according to Ms Janet Boswell, the senior social worker in the region, the police have, in some cases, advised that the senior be left on the verandah or steps at their relatives' home.

That, of course, is tantamount to dumping people like animals or produce and is highly unacceptable, especially that it is coming from the police who ought to have more than a passing acquaintance with the law.

What is clear from the story is that many people, including the CEO of the hospital, Mr Eon Jarrett, are unaware of the provisions of the Maintenance Act which, basically, states that every person who is not a minor has an obligation to maintain their parents and grandparents.

The Act also gives authority to any local authority or other Government agency that is providing assistance to the elderly or any other dependant to make an application to the Court for an order for the maintenance of that dependant.

Mr Jarrett, therefore, has access to a remedy for the problem he's experiencing at the St Ann's Bay Hospital. We would suggest that he and his counterparts at other State-run hospitals across the island implement a programme to inform patients' relatives of their obligation under the law. That, added to the follow-up visits done by social workers to ensure that seniors are not being abused by reluctant relatives, should help create a culture of appreciation for these most vulnerable members of our society.

Of course, we are not unaware of the fact that the neglect that some parents experience from their children has its genesis in the parents' limited, and sometimes lack of contribution to their children's upbringing. However, two wrongs simply cannot make a right.

And each time we feel anger and resentment at the parental neglect we may have suffered, we should reflect on the words of Dr Martin Luther King, Jr: "...He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."

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COMMENTS (9)

3/13/2010

As a God fearing woman I cannot pretend that the laws of sowing and reaping are unreal. Indeed, they are, as stated here by so many. I thank God that I don't have an issue with my parents (they have been together since they were very young). But with that said, we also have to remember the part in St.Matthew that said "Blessed are the merciful."
Folkes, sometimes when you're kind to those undeserving parents, it's not because they deserve kindness. But instead it's for the benefit of your souls and the souls of your children who are watching how we treat a "dutty" man like Grand-pa. Remember, your children were not around when s/he was young and fresh; all they will remember is a dried-up shell of a person whom Mommy or Daddy treat bad.
Yes, we must be very careful how we treat people. Especially the ones who share our blood.

Kim ARKIN
3/12/2010

i know it suck as hell what happen to those old people but the bible clearly state that you reap what you sow and if they were young and green and did not take care of there kids or family on a fair basic why should someone else pay attention to them,george watson i really agree with every thing you are saying because i am not big friends with my daddy but the man took care of me and i would not let him suffer like that but he was there finaicial to take care of me went i was a kid . George I AGREE we are not young for ever and we sholud always be careful the type of seed we sow and we need to fear god. Because we all get back what ever we dish out even if it take 100 years.

Ms. Lee B.
3/11/2010

You know I'm reading some of these comments and this article with a deep sense of shock. One thing is certain, you cannot legislate compassion - and to care for your older relatives requires compassion and a gracious heart.
If most of us got treated the way we deserved, this earth would become very ugly indeed. In a wealthier society the individual would put away monies in a 401K or Roth IRA for such times as these. Even then, most older people crave the company of their family and friends.
We have to remember that in many parts on the Jamaican society FOOD is a LUXURY; thus, many families spend all that they have on their children. The least we can do until we achieve a higher standard of living is to take care of our elderly. We're all they have, but right now the financial state of our country is not very propitious.

Verna Kitson
3/10/2010

@ Cee Dubya - this may be unthinkable to you, but has been going on for a long, long time. Individuals and churches within communities have often absorbed the costs of caring for such persons and even paying for their funerals. Our gov't needs to face the facts - the society has changed; forcing children to take care of their elderly parents is hardly a recipe for good relationships. The decision to abandon elderly people is often shaped by economic circumstances; clearly, elderly persons themselves did not plan ahead for this stage in their life, and so do not have a social network that they can draw on in order to provide their care; their offspring often do so to punish them, but also to avoid expending the economic and emotional resources needed to take care of an elderly person, especially one who is ill. In these later years, they often need just as much attention as a toddler, and there's just not a lot of education around this issue.

Verna Kitson
3/10/2010

@ Oliver Hunter - you are too funny! Ditto your point about the missed opportunity to educate readers about importance of planning for one's elderly years, and the important role that public policy can play in dealing with the many issues related to aging of its citizens.

george watson
3/10/2010

Apart from the fact that some people cannot afford to fend for the old, the young or those more unfortunate than themselves, is that they believe that they will always be living as well as they are and that we will remain forever young, beautiful and strong. It is difficult to explain to them that life changes in the twinkling of an eye and things that we least expect are sometimes our lot. The sad fact is that even in the best of circumstances we bloom like flowers in the morning, and like them, soon wither, fade and die.
I remember as a youngster I knew a gentleman who used to organize beauty pageants and contests. I had not seen or heard from or about him for a number of years. The next time I did was when I saw him featured in one of our daily newspapers, living in squalor in one of our old age homes. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that it was the same person I knew as a young, vibrant and oh so effervescent a person. I am sure that if someone had even suggested to him that he would have ended up as he did, he would have laughed in their faces. The fact is that we never know how our life will change in the twinkling of an eye; and it usually does. It is because of this why we should enjoin the biblical injunction to treat others as we would like to be treated.
Again recently I saw featured on one of our TV stations an acquaintance of mine who had been languishing in the hospital for over two years. When I asked his family why that was the case, they reminded me of how he had treated them when they were children. In his working life he had gambled, womanized and paid his family scant regard, leaving their mother for good when he came into a good deal of money. I had to use every means at my disposal to ensure that he was removed from the hospital and is now “enjoying” a pension.
The point I am making here is that we sometimes bring about our own circumstances, so we should be careful of how we treat others; no not careful, be VERY, VERY careful..

Oliver Hunter
3/9/2010

Given Jesus' reputation for universal problem solving,
if the relatives left her in his care, then they left her in capable hands.
The relatives therefore acted in her best interest, and should be commended.
If Jesus has not lived up to his usual high standards, it is hardly the relatives' fault.

Oliver Hunter
3/9/2010

It would have been more useful in my view, to use these incidents to encourage long term planning for retirement and elderly care.
Any law that mandates adults to house and maintain their parents and grandparents, is a foolish one.
The care of parents and grandparents by their children should rest solely on whether these children have the financial and housing capability to do so.
And more importantly whether they have the wish to take on their care.
To assume that the biological connection automatically links them to their permanent care is to be unrealistic.
And in any case, a key ingredient of care is love.
If you have to force relatives to take care of their aged, then obviously love is lacking.
No amount of court orders can bring that back.

Cee Dubya
3/9/2010

I am not able to, nor do I want to wrap my mind around the kind of thinking that would lead to such a contemptible act. You can’t choose your parents, but, if it came to having another go at it, my siblings and I would enthusiastically choose ours, without batting an eyelid. Space and time limitations would prohibit me to extol their virtues demonstrated in love, care and sound broughtupsy. But, you get the idea.
So, when I bring the readers’ attention to the entirety of Part V Section 10 (1) to (3) of the Maintenance Act (2005), you may be assured that it is simply to complete the context within which you have situated your recommendations. It reads:
“(1) Every person who is not a minor has an obligation, to the extent that the person is capable of doing so, to maintain the person's parents and grandparents who are in need of such maintenance by reason of age, physical or mental infirmity or disability.
(2) In considering the circumstances of a dependant who is a parent or grandparent, the Court shall have regard to whether, by reason of age or infirmity, that dependant is unable to provide for himself or herself.
(3) The obligation of a person under subsection (1) in respect of that person's grandparent only arises in the event of the failure of the grandparent's children to do so owing to death, physical or mental infirmity or disability.”
Whew! You almost frighten me. Anyway, for quick reference: http://www.moj.gov.jm/laws/statutes/Maintenance%20Act.pdf .
If the link isn’t reproduced here, a quick Google search will help.

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Police threat level at extreme

Abandoning elderly relatives a cruel act