Letters to the Editor

Thy will be 'Dunn'

Tuesday, October 03, 2017

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Dear Editor,

Hear ye, hear ye, listen well, my good ladies and gentlemen. It has now came to pass that in the year of our lord, the seventeenth year of the second millennium, on the first day of the tenth month that thy leader and prime minister of our mighty little realm called Jamaica sounded the alarm that the by-election is upon us. Prime Minister Andrew Holness and his throng of party supporters were singing, “Me and mi neighbour voting for Labour and marching on to victory.”

Thy party faithfuls were all clad in party green regalia, with bells ringing and vuvuzelas blowing like trumpets, and he proclaimed that citizens of St Andrew Southern and South Western, as well as St Mary South Eastern constituencies will go to the polls on the seventeen year of the second millennium on the thirtieth day of the tenth month to vote for their candidates.

This upcoming election day is etched in the hearts and minds of thy people of Jamaica as it commemorates the anniversary of the spectacular defeat of the Jamaica Labour Party (JLP) political rival, the People's National Party (PNP), during the sweeping general election in the year of our lord, nineteen hundred and eightieth year, of the first millennium of the 30th days of the 10th month with a 51 out of 60 seat trouncing, which was a stroke of triumph for the JLP.

Dr Norman, son of Dunn, the standard-bearer for St Mary South Eastern for the JLP, has sworn upon his heart, where his left breast lays, that “I shall serve the people and be their shepherd and leadeth the flock to greener pasture. For I am a child of the soil of this constituency, and I doth toiled thy market with my mother as a lad, and for this I will never leadeth thy people of St Mary South Eastern astray. I have sought the counsel of the most high and he saith unto thee, 'Now go to thy people and thee will be received with an abundance of votes.' ” Henceforth, the son of Dunn will be victorious saith the Holness.

Many stakeholders within the realm of Jamaica have predicted a total victory this time around for the son of Dunn, who was defeated in a recount of the votes at the last duel after the general election by his then political rival, the late Dr Winston, son of Green. The PNP has now elected Sir Shane, son of Alexis, to do battle, but thy people knoweth that the son of Alexis is nothing but a lightweight and has not been ordained to leadeth thy people. Thenceforth his defeat will be by the hands of the son of Dunn, and with the mighty thrust of the sword they called the vote.

When the election is over, son of Dunn will be hoisted victoriously on the shoulder, and thy people will feast on oxtail, curry goat and rice and peas. Thy people will be imbibing and spirits flowing in abundance to wash down thy hefty feast. Henceforth, son of Dunn will be proclaimed minister of Parliament for thy humble constituency dominion of St Mary South Eastern. So saith our sages, because thy will be Dunn.

Patrick Callum

patrickcallum@yahoo.com

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