Women will love her,
That she is a woman,
More worth than any man,
That she is,
The rarest of all women.
— Shakespeare, The Winter's Tale, V, 1
WOMEN will love her that she is a woman, more than any man. What a statement to make. She is so fine that not only men, but women too, will fall for her.
Imagine, a chick being a chick magnet. And that is the theme of my rant this week, the fact that women love other women more than they love men. Are they man haters? Maybe. Are they afraid of men? Perhaps. Do they love other women? Most certainly. Call them lesbians, and they have been around since the dawn of time.
Maybe they could even be termed the lesser gays, the ones who are more accepted by society, and tolerated by so many people who are otherwise anti-gay. In fact, they are so accepted that magazines, tabloids, TV shows and movies have been dedicated to them. The male gays got no such props.
Some men even take it further and express a secret desire to end up in bed with two beautiful lesbians to fulfil lustful fantasies. First he would watch, then he would participate, then he would watch some more. Such is the appeal and lure of woman on woman sex.
Lesbians were not chased and stoned in the street as male gays used to be many years ago. Neither were they beaten if caught in the act, as many male gays used to suffer back in the day. True, the tolerance of male gays has increased over the years, and they are mostly left alone nowadays, even though we are deemed to be a homophobic society. This homophobia did not extend to lesbians, though, as we'll find out right after these responses to 'It's good to be a woman'.
Of course it's good to be a woman. After all, women are the ones who really run things and end up getting the lion's share of everything when the marriage breaks up. Name me one man who gets alimony, maintenance money, child support and the house, after the marriage hits the skids. It's the woman who gets the loot, as the laws are geared to protect them. It really must be good to be a woman, knowing that the laws are in their favour.
Women have mastered the art of hiding the fact that they are really in control. They do all the shopping, they say when sex is available, they handle the finances, they basically run things. At least my wife does. But guess what, I do not mind, except for the sex part, as it takes away some of the burden of responsibility which I already have at the office. My wife is the boss of me 100 per cent, and I love it because I love her and she only wants what's good for all of us.
So it's good to be a woman, and my woman is the best.
Why do women love other women in the romantic sense, even as they reject men? Were they born that way, was there some gene hidden deep in their DNA that instructed them to seek pleasure from other women, even as they rejected the male members of society? Some experts say that, while others are convinced that it is due to some trauma in the lives of young girls that made them turn to and seek solace in the arms of other women. I will not argue against both theories, but I do know quite a few lesbians who told me that they were sexually abused or molested by an adult when they were growing up.
For some it was an uncle, or a stepfather, a cousin, or even their own father who had sex with them for years. In some instances it was a one-time experience, but it was enough to scar them for life. As a result they turned to lesbianism, not as a conscious choice, but pushed by some unseen force, beyond their control. I have done no scientific study, but those women gave me their stories, and they all had a common thread, sexual abuse at an early age.
What was surprising was the fact that some of them were abused by older women, which also steered them to the path of lesbian love. But abuse or not, lesbians have always been around, and the name was taken from the Greek island of Lesbos, where it was purported that the poetess Sappho and her merry band of women lived and loved, all seeking pleasure from each other. "Men be damned, it's woman time now, so come, sisters, let's rock and roll."
Just recently our airwaves have been bombarded with stories of lesbians, with one being of celebrated Jamaican singer Diana King coming out of the closet and declaring her sexual status. A quote from Tallawah magazine states, "After years of hiding her true self from the world, celebrated singer Diana King has come out as a lesbian. In a lengthy and impassioned letter to her fans, the 'Shy Guy' songstress confessed that a fear of rejection held her captive all her life, but now she is breaking free."
Many other papers have carried her coming-out story. Interestingly, many people do not care and wonder what the fuss is all about. As one blogger said, "What's the big deal? We don't see heterosexuals declaring their preference, so why should the gays come public with theirs?" It also gave courage to other lesbians to come out. "I feel great that she came out, now I feel free to tell my folks that I am a lesbian."
Then there's the other story, complete with photographs, carried by the Jamaica Observer, that showed two Jamaican lesbians who got married overseas and are now living as husband and wife. Or is that wife and wife? That's another thing that confuses me, if lesbians reject and dislike men to be their romantic partners, why does one of them always take on the persona of a man?
I saw another lesbian wedding that took place in the USA, and I was convinced that the groom was a man and not a woman, as she was dressed in full black suit, black tie, and men's shoes. Her hair was also closely cropped, giving her the appearance of a real macho man. Why go to all that trouble to look and act like a man if you don't want a man? But who am I to answer those complex questions?
That being said, not all lesbians have the masculine 'butch' appearance, as I know quite a few who could enter any beauty contest and place in the top three. However, some look downright scary and would make even a streetfighter give them a wide berth.
I know lesbians who have confessed to me that even though they're into women, they still enjoy the feel of something male from time to time. As a result, one partner will strap on a male member to simulate the sex act by a man. Now I'm even more confused.
Others have whispered to me that every now and then they'd sneak off for a dalliance with a member of the opposite sex, all because she had a feel for a member. "I just have to have the feel of a man now and again, or I'll go crazy," one told me. I addressed this years ago in a column titled 'Seasonal sodomy', that pointed out how ladies would flit from female to male, then back to female as their sexual seasons changed, leaving onlookers amazed, confused and amused.
"What is she doing with a man this year? I thought that she liked women."
"This is her man season. Next year she's back with women."
I guess they have the best of both worlds.
Lesbianism has not only crept into many of our high schools for girls, it has descended on them with the force of a dam that has burst. Stories are rife about lesbian cliques in prominent high schools that not only try to recruit new converts, but even 'take on' female teachers.
This letter to the advice column caught my attention: "I am a female university student, and last term I let myself be seduced by an older woman. To be frank, I quite enjoyed it."
Dancehall artiste Laden has a song called Witness which goes, "First me a witness this inna di world, catch my girlfriend kissing on a girl. A nuh just kiss alone, she and har move in, dem live at home."
Is it that our boys have failed and the girls now seek solace and affection from each other? The word on the street is that men are becoming obsolete, redundant, no longer needed except as sperm donors and providers. "I can live without a man, as long as I have my girlfriend, and if that doesn't work, I have my toy."
True, it has been said that nobody can please a woman like another woman. After all, only they know where all the pleasure spots are, and men don't have the patience, the expertise, or the time for that prolonged and extended foreplay that women seem to love and relish so much. Only a woman can have foreplay all night long, whereas a man just wants to get down to business as quickly as possible.
That's one area where almost all men fall short, a fact that every lesbian who spoke to me told me. There is no comparison, and a girl caressing another girl is just heavenly. I have been privy to husbands who have lost their wives to lesbians, and it's just plain sad.
Whatever the reason, the numbers of lesbians seem to be growing, and lesbian love is on the front page more and more. Even the very young girls are experimenting with it. Blame it on genes, blame it on sexual abuse, blame it on neglect, blame it on cable TV, but ignore it at your peril.
Lesbian love affects our daughters, sisters, girlfriends, cousins and wives, so look out for the signs. But then again, there isn't a thing you can do about it, even if you see it. Lesbian love, it's a way of life and it's growing.
Footnote: I simply cannot understand why people continue to leave valuable stuff such as laptops, passports, cash, and firearms in their cars while they go about their business. Don't they watch the news or read the papers, aren't they aware of basic safety procedures, or perhaps they think that it will not happen to them?
I have lost count of how many of my friends and associates have left their laptops or pouches on their car seats only to have them stolen. Some leave them in the day, others at night in lonely parking lots, only to return to see their vehicles broken into. I can never understand it, yet some people continue to do it.
I try to sympathise when I hear the sad stories, and I am sorry, really, but my sympathy is tinged with the fact that they were careless. I'm begging you, do not leave valuables in plain sight in your vehicles... you're only offering gifts to thieves, plus a broken car window adds to the trauma.