Man fi get kuff?

Friday, January 18, 2013

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I recently enjoyed a weekend at a hotel on the north coast, very memorable and extremely relaxing.

Whenever I 'do' all inclusives I follow the words of the restaurants meal times to the letter, so I unfortunately gained twenty unwanted pounds from the food and drink, but I also gained some useful insight which will form the basis of this weekend's drivel from my pen to your eyes.

Whilst enjoying my short stint, I had occasion to sit in and listen to the stories and remarks being made at the bar by people from various places throughout our small planet. Two instances stood out.

One guest was locked out of the room by the roommate and sported what looked like a handprint across the left jaw. Another even more interestingly had dark glasses on, at night, and mumbled constantly about divorce. What was even more amusing was that in both instances these guests were men!

Now I don't know what led to these acts of violence by the women, nor do I care, but it caused me to wonder if nowadays women were taking the words of my now Christian deejay friend, Shelly Thunder to heart — "Sometimes a man fi get kuff" — must be what was predominant in their minds when the 'slaughteration' occurred.

Of course, I don't have to tell you how the other men at the bar, including the bartenders, some not so discreetly, aired their views on the matter and how it would have been handled if it were them, while the ladies in attendance, including yours truly, smiled with pride at the small victory.

Now, don't get me wrong, domestic violence by either party should not be condoned, but there is a little twisted side of me that says Yes, you go girl! when a woman gets the upper hand. Kudos to both men, they retreated to the bar instead of retaliating with blows of their own. They are real men, contrary to the views held by some other male guests that night.

It was a "win" in my mind for all the women that suffer domestic abuse at the hands of the so-called men that they encounter. Albeit, there are a few women who consider it vital to their existence and I'm not here to judge them. They have male counterparts. A few men love a rough woman; I'm talking hard core dominant forceful women. I have a man-friend that lived in an abusive relationship with a real 'thugs' girl. She smoked weed and drank hot Guinness like it was oxygen. People, she battered him night and day. I used to do the rounds with him seeking medical attention for his various bruises because pride would not allow him to call upon a male friend. As far as his family and crew were concerned, he played ball with some vicious unruly men, well that was the story and I used to endorse it, but never again.

I finally intervened and convinced him that this was a bad situation and went for him one night after the Sea cow had beaten him properly and left in search of a strong ale. We hurriedly packed up all of his clothes and shoes and I even tied down his mini fridge on the top of my car, singlehandedly!! I was willing to sacrifice space in my one room, to allow him time to recover and get back on his feet. The woman turned up just as we were about to drive off and summoned him and he stepped out of my vehicle with his things, telling the woman "C'mon man, you know that Elva is a comedian. You nuh see that a little joke we a run, me not leaving you". Mi shame like a dog. Never again! They are no longer together, but the embarrassment lives with me forever.

Now I would never hit a man, if the relationship reached to that level, then its better I walk away. Besides, there are people I can pay to do that, if the situation warranted it! Don't follow me it's just the song in my head, "sometimes a man fi get koof" for real. Be kind to each other folks. Send comments via email to, on Twitter @ElvaJamaica or like my Facebook fan page Elva Ruddock. Stay blessed




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