Shades of grey
Sometimes we just have to sit back, sip on a tall glass of lemonade and reflect on this thing called life.
I used to roll on the floor with laughter whenever I saw an elderly person with a freshly dyed head of jet-black hair. Granted I didn't do it to their faces, because Momma Ruds raised me better than that, but in the corridors of my mind I had a field day.
Fast forward to present day and sightings of my own greyness, which ironically did not appear on my head, but of all places my chin (yes I do have facial hair) and it's not so funny anymore.
The discovery was made in public too. I stood waiting on my food order when a very handsome man came up and engaged me in conversation. Half way into the convo, I observed that he was staring at what I thought was my mouth. I started licking my lips LL Cool J style, and pouting ever so seductively, when the poor soul could bear it no more and reached out to touch my face. I almost fainted, thinking it was a sexy come on, only to feel him lightly brushing at my chin. Awkwardly, we both realised that it was not a speck of white on my face from atmospheric contact, but that this was a living organism growing from my skin so he quickly gave up and I laughed to cover my shame.
Well there endeth that little flirtatious encounter since I was too embarrassed to make eye contact after that.
The poor man must have been traumatised.
Can you imagine me with the hot body of a 20-something year old; the face of a Miss Jamaica with grey hair on my chin? Well ok, maybe not 20-year-old, but 25.
Oh the agony!
It called to mind a one of my mom's sayings when we were growing up: ' Yuh a come... Yuh wi see". I can't stand her sometimes for always being right, but it is so true.
Now I know and understand why old people are dyeing, they do it to prevent their youthfulness from dying. It is weird when you feel vibrant, energetic and perky and your body is submitting to the ageing process isn't it? Thankfully, some of us can mask it better than others. Have you ever encountered an old schoolmate and they look as if life has been beating them with a piece of four by four?
Some of these people look like my parents age and we went to school together. Then they have the unmitigated gall to be sending friend requests to me on Facebook! Excuse you! Instant deny and block. No my darling, I do not wish for you to depreciate my 'hot gal' ratings, we shall say hello in the streets and keep it moving.
When that time comes folks, I shall be seen proudly cruising the hair products aisle searching for gray blocking agents for my head and plucking shaving and trimming all other body hairs to conceal the ravages of time. I shall not be going quietly into the 'big ooman' phase, oh no, I will be kicking, screaming and preening the entire way. Laugh all you want, as Momma Ruds says, 'Yuh a come... Yuh wi see'.
Have a great weekend guys. Remember, it is hotter than Satan's armhole outdoors so keep hydrated and wear some sunblock. Follow me on Twitter @ElvaJamaica or drop me an email firstname.lastname@example.org