Where is chivalry?

Elva a Talk Up!

Friday, January 27, 2012

IS chivalry dead? As my friend from Jungle, Charlene said when I asked this question... "a which lane him did live pon again? Mi nuh see him long time, so him gooda pass away"; she cracks me up every time. Let's start from the beginning.

Many people reading this may be wondering what is chivalry. Don't be embarrassed if you fall into this category. Chivalry is a word not often heard today, and a lot of people really don't know what it means. The Webster's Dictionary defines chivalry as gallantry, courtesy and honour. The noble qualities a knight was said to have, such as courage and a readiness to help the weak or the demonstration of any of these characteristics.

Nowadays, if a man exits and opens the passenger side door of his car for his lady, others will remark that either the car or the girl is new. Serious thing... it is no longer the norm that a man will hold a door open for a lady; help with carrying a lady's bags; offer his jacket to his shivering companion; walk a lady to her car; or stop to offer help to a damsel in distress, without expecting payment or favours.

I would like to believe that it still exists because I insist on it from my group of male friends. I took an informal poll of people in the streets to get a better understanding of what the general consensus was as it relates to the topic.

A resounding 'yes' came from the majority of the women when asked about the death of Charlene's goodly, missing-in-action neighbour. They felt men have long forgotten what it feels like to be gentlemen, and they felt slighted. One very outspoken young lady said that men have become so metrosexual that they expect equal rights when dealing with women. She has been left many a morning holding the door at her office while men and women alike barrelled through without as much as a thank you. I empathised, since in my dealings with the police I've been addressed as 'sir' on more than one occasion, but how we reach there so?

The men had differing views. Some thought they were indeed chivalrous but noted that they felt 'strange' when publicly displaying gentlemanly attributes. These were usually older men who seemed to blame 'woman power' and our so-called struggle for equality of the sexes on their reluctance to be chivalrous.

The younger brood, most of whom didn't know what chivalry was until I explained, thought that it was an old- fashioned way of thinking. "Muma, dem days deh dun. Yuh nuh see a strong, black ooman a run di place. Dem a push di Benz dem and a hold di good jobs. A ooman time now, a dem a tek care a we", and other explanations were eagerly volunteered among my test group. One man in his twenties was so clueless; he wanted to know if I wanted him to appear soft? "How my woman a go rate mi if me start acting like a 'maama man'?" (Jamaican term for an effeminate gentleman). Sad but true.

I may be the strongest-looking woman I know, but do not be mistaken, I play the damsel in distress card frequently; especially when it comes on to my motor vehicle: pumping gas, changing tyres, etc. I have no qualms about softening my baritone, batting my fake eyelashes and adjusting my hemline to get some gullible sap, I mean, chivalrous gent to assist me. And should you see me in any such 'helpless' position, please do not blow my cover.

Send your opinions to me elvachatalot@yahoo.com and let's establish if it still exists or it's a matter of choice. Word to the wise: Gentlemen, being kind does not make one weak and ladies please encourage and allow our men, especially our sons, to treat us as ladies; it will foster good vibrations for future generations. Have a great weekend folks.

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Where is chivalry?