Why women go bad
To make a sweet lady sad
Is a sour offence.
— Shakespeare, Troilus and Cressida 111, 1
IT really is a sour offence to make a sweet, innocent, pure, faithful lady sad. And in many cases, when women get sad, they also get bad. That's right, women have a way of lashing out when they think that they are wronged. Then they hit the man where it hurts the most, right in his you know where...his ego.
She knows where to go to get back at him, for she cannot fight him physically, so she uses the weapon she has at her disposal, that of infidelity. At least, that's what some experts say about women's behaviour, that it is linked to something else, to wit, there is an opposite and equal reaction.
That theory may work well in the science laboratory, where you have test tubes, pipettes, burettes and Bunsen burners. But when it comes to the complexity of women, there is no scientific theory that can figure out exactly why they do what they do, or even when and where they will do it. So for every action there is a reaction, but in a woman's case, it's not necessarily equal, for it may come with a force that may knock your socks off.
So why do women go bad? Who's to blame? Or are they just bad because they want to be bad? We'll explore that, right after these responses to Women prey for men.
As you rightly pointed out, men will prey on women and some women become the bait to catch the man. Some of these women are prepared to be the sugar mommy for the trophy man. I guess it works both ways. To slightly mangle the words of Billy Shakespeare, "A piece, is of the nature of a conquest, for then both parties nobly are subdued and neither party loser."
What makes you think that most women are prey for men, just helpless minnows waiting around in the pool until some angler drops his bait and reels her in? Far from it, my son, as women only want men to think that we are prey and they are hunters. We have been doing this to them for centuries, until you men now actually believe that you are hunting us. The reality is, we know who we want, we choose our hunters, we reject who we don't want, keep who we like, and throw back the trash.
Of course, there are some licky licky women who may fall for men's guile, but even they play the men, and get what they want. So who is hunting whom, who chases whom, who catches whom? Ha, it's a big joke.
So the perception is that men are bad, men are dogs, men are philanderers who will make a pass at any woman they encounter and no one is off limits. They will even take on their friends' wives, if the opportunity arises. Men are scum. But hey, hold on a minute. If these men are so bad, who are they bad with, other men? Well, a few may go that route, but the majority of men all over the world, of whatever race, religion or creed, will be bad with guess who? Other women.
Yes, for every man who is bad, there is a woman he is bad with. And yet, men still get the cursing and the tongue-lashing and the horrible tales that are told about them. "All men are bad and is only one thing on their minds and it's badness."
Well, based on statistics, women are bad, too; not all, mind you, for in the same way that not all men are bad, neither are all women. But Lord, when they're bad it causes so much pain to the men. Is this because they've whipped the men at their own game? What might be true is that a man may be bad just because he's bad. Just like the scorpion, it's in his nature and he can't help himself. At least, that's the theory of some sociologists.
I'm not here to dispute that. But what is also true is that a woman's complexity makes her do, well, complex things, in a very complex way. She may be bad, yes, a fallen woman, a candidate for a scarlet letter, or even to be tarred and feathered as fallen women were subjected to in days of yore. But there is a reason why she chose that route, knowing the inherent risks and danger that lay ahead. The common perception is that women aren't bad simply because they are bad. Tarrus Riley's song, A good girl gone bad, may shed some light on the issue. Why does a good girl go bad?
Comedian Flip Wilson used to say, "The devil made me do it," whenever he did anything wrong and was caught in the act. So in the same vein, some women who are bad are said to be possessed by some evil force.
"Is must something get into her why she so bad. She couldn't just get up one day and decide fi bad so." Whatever the reason, when a woman bad, she bad nuh yaws. Bad nuh yaws, what a colourful expression from our ancestors. I'd really like it clarified. What is yaws in this context anyway?
I have been seeing a trend in the letters sent to the advice columns. They're all from wives who have cheated on their husbands and are now seeking advice, if not forgiveness and absolution. One wrote to say that she has a husband and a lover, but it hurts physically when she has sex with her husband.
Another wrote that when her husband is away on his regular and frequent business trips, she sneaks her young lover into the house. Her concern is that the neighbours may have seen him leaving the house and may carry news to hubby.
There have been so many letters of this ilk I began to think it was an epidemic of women gone bad. Is this a new trend in women: they being so liberated or just plain bad? What could drive an otherwise respectable wife to badness?
Call in the experts, and who knows better about women's affairs than women who are having affairs? They were candid as they spoke, but a few had tinges of remorse. Others relished their badness and said that the men got what they deserved. Mercifully, those were in the minority.
As simple as you take it, some women turned to another man just because hubby stopped showing interest in her. "He never saw me anymore, never looked at me like he used to... I was just furniture to him." As a result, the first guy who started to look at her and complimented her, got her attention... and more.
That being said, it wasn't just a look-grab-and hop into bed thing for, after all, she was a married woman. But the lack of attention from hubby, then the constant attention and affection from the other man, simply wore her down. "I felt pretty again, desirable, wanted, needed. Do you know what that feels like after all this time of neglect?" Now she's labelled bad, a fallen woman, and vilified even by her friends who knew what she was going through with her husband.
Another reason is anger, coupled with revenge. They say that hell hath no fury like a woman spurned. Well, hell hath no comparison to a woman out for revenge. Many women have gone bad because their husbands stepped out of the field of fidelity first.
One lady wrote that when she found out what her man was doing she was so hurt, but that quickly evolved into anger which blossomed into revenge. Oh sweet revenge, a meal best served cold, they say, but in this case, hot, hot, hot! She had sex with his best friend, which was really hot, burned him, hit him where it hurt most. Now she's called all sorts of names, labelled unfit, and drummed out of the regiment.
Hubby, of course, has all the sympathy, even from her female friends who said, "After is just a likkle piece de man take. She shudden sleep with him best friend. Damn bad."
One lady actually told me that she stepped out of the marital mosaic because her husband got old. Not only did he get old physically, but his outlook on life aged drastically. "He just stopped living and acted like he was waiting to die. He got old. I still have life left in me and want to enjoy it." Translate 'enjoy' to men sex with another man... or men.
Statistics have shown that more older couples are stepping out than ever before, and that means men and women who seek the pleasures of the flesh from others. It's even more so between couples where the man is much older than the woman. "I tried to ignore the 20-year age difference, but it eventually got to me," said this lady.
One other reason that women go bad is simply because they are bad. Oh yes, some women are just like men... bad men. They simply cannot be confined by the shackles of fidelity, so they step out. Many exude the aura of respectability, shine with the veneer or decency, yet are so hot that they have to quench their thirst with other lovers.
Such women do exist, and they talk about sex just like men do. The irony is, many are not built like sexual bombshells, but look more like plain Janes. But don't let that fool you, they have the raging libido of a heifer in estrus and enjoy a variety of lovers. In contrast, many women look 'bad' but really are not. "I'm not bad, I'm just built that way," said the sultry Jessica Rabbit from the movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Those hot honeys in plain wrapping are the ones to look out for. Dem bad nuh yaws. What is true, though, is that if an ugly woman cheats on you, that must be the most unkindest cut of all, as Shakespeare would say. What an injustice, what a travesty, what an insult. Ugly as sin, but bad nuh yaws!
So, those were just a few reasons why women go bad, supplied to me, of course, by bad women who think that their actions are justified. Pray that you have a good woman, or your corner is dark. More time.
Footnote: Uniforms always depict discipline, and with discipline so much can be achieved. I've always liked the colourful uniforms of our Jamaican schoolgirls, and most are appealing and eye-catching. But I must make special note and big up the uniform of the young ladies of Westwood High in Stewart Town, Trelawny, who still wear their cute Jippi Jappa straw hats.
I learned that they are the only school in Jamaica to still wear that headgear. I saw them on TV a few weeks ago and it brought back memories of when I first saw a group of them in Kingston years ago. What a beautiful sight to see dozens of those young ladies in their neatly pressed uniforms and smart Jippi Jappa hats. Westwood girls, it's a pleasure to see you maintain your tradition and to know that you take pride in your heritage.
Congrats to Paul Williams of Seido Karate New York, and Shekeema Cunningham of Future Leaders, for capturing the Grand Champion trophies at the Annual Seido International Karate Championships. Discipline, again, in action.