She loves me
For the dangers I had passed,
And I loved her that
She did pity them.
— Shakespeare, Othello 1, 3
It is a known fact that women are drawn to dangerous and bad men. No woman wants a wimp, and history has shown that it is the warrior, the gangster, the rogue, the rake, the bounder, the libertine, the scallywag, the thug, the trickster, the don, who gets the choicest, prettiest women.
Only rarely does a wimpish nerd of a man, a scholarly bookworm, end up with the head cheerleader at high school... unless his father has money... which gives him power... which makes him bad... for power corrupts. But he still gets the girl... the good girl, not the school sleeparound.
Even now in modern times we see beautiful women get involved with guys and we stop and wonder, or even say out loud, "Imagine, she, going out with him, that sort of boy." That sort of boy meaning of course, a guy who is not worthy of her in their view, as perhaps he came from down so, or is associated with other men of ill repute. Little do they know that it's the ill repute that's the attraction.
Even now there are stories going around of thugs being hired to not only protect uptown youth, but also cohabit with the daughters of the upper class. That's because the girls are succumbing to their base inner urges to be with bad men, and are drawn inexorably, like the moth to the flame, to guys of that ilk. We'll find out why, right after these responses to No children, please.
Your column was great, funny and so true. Kids today are brought up with a sense of entitlement, no responsibility, and lack of respect for their elders. The fault lies mostly with their parents and, to a lesser degree, society in general. The 'Spawn from Hell' is the result, coming back to bite them in the ass.
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child."
— Shakespeare, King Lear 1, 4
Regarding your footnote on the makeup of some of the TV presenters, we totally agree. Not only that, but also the way they dress when they field report. When you look at how some of the older ones present themselves, then look at some of the young ones who should be glad for the opportunity to be working with the seasoned media practitioners, the gap is so wide, and as a young woman, and a veteran in media, we are totally embarrassed for them. The stations need to develop standards, and put their foot down. They need to put everyone in blazers since they don't know how to, or care to represent themselves professionally.
OJ and KB
An old schoolmate, make that a past classmate of mine, recently tied the knot in Toronto and decided to honeymoon here during our Independence celebrations. He circulated an e-mail to the fortis clan, to expect his arrival. Of course, I had to rib him about his recent nuptials and also added, "How could you manage to land such a wonderful woman to be your bride?"
My colleague and fellow columnist Mark Wignall, a member of the KC clan, promptly responded saying, "Teerob, don't you know that good women love bad men?" That I could not dispute, but I had to mull the question, does that make me a bad man, plus who gets the bad women? But first, let's deal with the issue of bad men attracting good women.
There is a theory that states that it's because bad men, way back in the past, had the ability to protect women. It makes perfect sense, for even in the animal kingdom, it's the strongest male, whether he be bull, stallion, buck or grizzly bear, that gets the choice females. Often, they have to defend their turf and fight to win the females.
For one, the bloodline will be protected, as they will sire strong offspring, and two, the strong male lion will always offer protection to the pride. So don't blame the women, as they only fall victim to the genetic makeup forged from eons ago. They simply cannot help themselves. So when the lady says, "I don't know what it is that draws me to that man, I feel so helpless to his power and animal ways," it's because nature has commanded so.
When women love bad men though, good men lose, and we all know the old saying, which was also made into song, "Good guys only win in the movies." Just look around and see for yourselves, countless tales of good guys who either lost their women to bad men, or were cheated on by women who were attracted to bad men... Joe Grine.
Up to a few weeks ago, this movie star from the Twilight series admitted to having an affair with the director of a movie that she recently starred in. At the same time, she was involved with and living with her boyfriend, a good man, a very good man, but confessed to succumbing to a moment of indiscretion. How delicately put, a moment of indiscretion. "Oh baby, indiscrete me some more, indiscrete me harder, harder."
The bad man whom she indiscreted with was twice her age, and the married father of two. That story is very common, and statistics have shown that over 30 per cent of married women have admitted to have cheated. The other 70 per cent are smart enough to keep their mouths shut. I'm joking about that last 70 per cent part of course, but women do cheat, just like men, and who do they cheat with, but bad men?!
Let's face it, which woman who's married to a cowboy or former cowboy is going to cheat on him with a priest? It's always the other way around, all because women love bad men. She may have married Parson Jones for the prestige and security, but as soon as slow-talking Joe rides into town on his five legged horse, she's going to shed her cloth and the man of the cloth for Joe.
Joe is a cowboy, and the danger of the cowboy is powerful enough to draw her into a long, hard ride into the sunset. There's danger in them there hills, and women love this. Of course, when she's discovered, she'll cry and beg forgiveness plus beg hubby to take her back, but deep down, she'll think that it was worth it, all because women love bad men.
Now, can you seriously imagine her being involved with the cowboy then carrying on behind his back with the parson? I don't think so.
But back to what Mark said about bad boys always getting good women. A more true statement could not have been said. It's not a case of the women being oblivious to the ways of the men, but more a case of the women recognising the bad ways of the men, and being attracted to them.
What defines a man as being bad though? By our definition, it does not mean a man who breaks the law or does heinous acts against mankind. Although some women love that type of man too, as we'll soon see. It's more the guy who knows how to handle women and treats them like he's not desperate for their affections. Maybe his past was littered with the shards of broken hearts, a trail of romantic detritus, a litany of lost love, a wake of wailing women, as he moves from one bed to the next.
For some reason, women are drawn to guys like those, even though they will profess that they are bad men and to be avoided. Just let a woman tell her best friend how bad her man is and see how quickly that best friend moves in for a taste of the badness.
"He is so bad, he just loves women and leaves them... I must be with him." It's very rare that a woman is attracted to a good, decent man with no past at all, as the word for him is boring. She may want security now, but that past still holds a mystique that she cherishes.
Only a desperate woman with no man will settle for a man who has no colourful past, and chances are, she'll cheat on him with the first bad man who comes along... just for the experience. Women have told me this. It happens, and you know it, and if you don't know it, then you had better get to know it.
Some women are even drawn to men who are known abusers, and we've heard of many cases of women writing to, visiting, getting involved with and falling in love with men behind bars, men who they never knew before. So many guys on death row in the USA and Britain have women falling for them and even offering to marry them. Guys on death row are bad men, very bad men, yet women are drawn to them. And these are good decent women too.
What about the bad women, what sort of men do they get if the good women get the bad men? Mark Wignall says, "Everyone gets the bad woman, as she is community property." Everyone is a lot of people, in other words, a whole heap a man, and I remember from my high school days that there were a few girls who were deemed bad, loose, common, and everyone and their cousin had their way with them.
So bad women will only get guys in the short term, for a fling, a good time, but they will get no good man, for bad women are not keepers, but disposables. Aha, but bad men are keepers, and sought after. Society does make some strange and interesting rules, as the goose and the gander, puss and dog, sheep and goat, pot and kettle, black dog and monkey, certainly do not have the same luck.
So all you gentlemen who have god women, what category do you fall in. Are you a good man or a bad man? I have a good woman, so based on what my schoolmates said, I and all of us with good women are, or at least were bad men at one stage of the game. I never thought of myself as being bad, just maligned and misunderstood, as the guy being tried said. But as the ladies said, "Thank God for bad men, for the good ones are so predictable and boring."
Footnote: Why are some people so bad mind and jealous of other people? A lady who's in her 70s told me how she's afraid to show any success of any sort, or her husband's, as her so-called friends and even onlookers are the first to tear them down and besmirch their character. Some people even say that it's a trait common to a certain race, and the evidence is certainly there, at least from where we look. But I won't go there.
What I do know is that the green eyed monster of jealousy is alive and well, and even some of our own people think and speak ill of our heroes, even those who performed at the Olympics, even as other countries adore them. At times we destroy our own.
It happens in the music industry, in the arts, in theatre, at the workplace, and in sports. You rise to the top, you become a target, and people want to see you fall. Can't we change this negative attitude?