Anger management

Anger management


Sunday, October 20, 2019

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Anger is like

A full-hot horse,

Who being allow'd his way,

Self mettle tires him.

Shakespeare, Henry VIII, I, 1

A horse in full flight with a swift gallop and lathered sinews will run at great speed, sweating profusely, rivulets streaming down its flank, frothing at the mouth in a mad frenzy, until it tires, burns itself out, then eventually stops.

That's what anger is like, as the above quote alludes to. For those of you who have witnessed a person in full-blown anger, it is not a pretty sight, as they have a conniption, ranting and raving in a frenzy, spitting, snarling and freaking out.

And for those of you who have exhibited extreme anger, you know what you felt during and after the explosion. There are some people who never show anger, yet that's not to say that they don't feel anger. They simply do not show it, that's all. Silent river runs deep.

Anger is a part of the human psyche, and whether it's good or bad is the subject of research. Some may say that it's better to express rage and let it all out rather than keep it all bottled up and suffer a stroke or heart attack.

“Presha buss pipe”, they say. But unbridled anger cannot be a good thing in a civilised society. It should be managed. Anger management, that's my spiel today, right after these not so angry responses to 'Retired'.

Hi Tony,

After working for 40 years and life being short, I looked forward to retirement where I could spend the rest of my days in comfort and ease. I no longer have to go to bed early nor do I have to get up early to join the rat race. I have hobbies that I enjoy now that I have the time. I travel whenever I feel like without having to schedule vacation days with my employers. I volunteer my time in my communities, giving back and working with charitable organisations. Retirement is not for everyone though, and should not be mandatory. One should be able to continue working as long as they're productive.


Ontario, Canada


Retirement is a death sentence. When I read your article I saw my sorry, sad situation staring back at me from the page. I retired and exist on a slim pension but the rising cost of living keeps on giving me much anxiety. I miss going to work, I miss being productive, I miss being somebody. I feel invisible. Retirement is one foot in the grave.


There are some people who are angry all the time. When you look at their faces, all that you see is misery, contention, discord and damnation. Never will you see them crack a smile, as their anger keeps them in a constant state of flux. “Stay far from that man, him angry and vex all the time.”

For lovers of comics and movies you may be familiar with The Incredible Hulk, the large, green superhero who is blessed with awesome strength, but only when he gets angry and is transformed from an ordinary man into the powerful beast.

But at least the Hulk has his time of peacefulness, and it's only when he gets riled up and angry that the raging beast in him rises to the surface and turns him into the raging monster.

His famous line is, “Don't make me angry, you don't want to see me angry.” That trigger then makes him grow to enormous size and he wreaks havoc. Some people are like the Hulk, all it takes is a trigger to tick them off.

Then there are people who are constantly angry for various reasons. My theory is that lack of sex will keep people angry all the time. “Look how she vex every day, she nah get nutten, dat's why.”

I'm pretty sure that you can identify some politicians who are perennially angry and fit right into the category of permanent vexation. But shhh, don't call any names, or the wrath of demons may be unleashed on you.

Maybe this perennial anger stems from people being unloved when they were children, or from unrequited love, and they just can't get over it. Some people actually go to bed angry and wake up angry the next morning. Couples have expressed how their spouses will wake up in the morning huffing and puffing and angry without even giving thanks for a new day.

I saw this American comedian on TV who made reference to this as he said, “When my wife wakes up and I see her lips curl in a certain way, I say, oh oh, I'm in trouble now.” It occurs in real life too, as many men don't even know what hits them when their wives display overnight anger.

For some reason, this anger is a constant in their lives and they carry it like a millstone around their necks. In reality, it's more like an anchor, as it weighs them down and keeps them rooted to one emotional spot permanently.

Now, as I mentioned before, anger is a part of the human condition, and many of us harbour it inside. Even toddlers will exhibit anger, which is termed a tantrum, as they scream, roll around on the ground and wail like a banshee. At least the American children display that, as Jamaican parents do not tolerate that sort of behaviour. Well, they used to, as children are given free rein nowadays.

But should adults exhibit this type of immature behaviour? Yes, displaying anger is a sign of immaturity and lack of self-control. Even so, for some people it's a way of life, a natural characteristic as their bouts of anger will come and go, rise and fall, ebb and flow like the tides. They care not of the consequences.

Latina senoritas are known for their bouts of rage, as they will rant and rave, scream at the top of their lungs, throw and smash objects against the wall and even throw a slap or two. Usually though, it has its roots in jealousy. “Tu eres un hombre malo, voy a cortarte los cojones y pinga.” Oh yes, latina ladies are known to have a fiery temper. But Jamaicans are known to exhibit extreme anger too.

Popular deejay Bounty Killer, known for his angry public persona, even expresses that he's “Cross, angry and miserable.” It's a part of his stage persona, of course, and is accepted by his fans. In reality he's an extremely kind and generous man who assists many charities.

But anger can be dangerous and unforgiving, for it lets people do things that they wouldn't normally do. With extreme anger a person will say and do what they wouldn't normally do.

With anger, the words that come out of a person's mouth can be the cause of much hurt and regret. And in the same way that someone who is drunk will say and do things that they wouldn't normally do, a person who is angry falls into the same category.

In effect, they really wanted to say and do those harsh things, but never had the courage until they had a few drinks… or got angry. “Don't rile me up yu nuh, don't push me button, don't test me.” Sounds like the Hulk, eh?

Anger can be equated to drunkenness, and just like in the state of inebriation, an angry person can get violent. “The nice, quiet man get angry, lose him cool and mash up the place.” And yet, there are some people who are slow to anger, slow burners who have long fuses and will take a long time to blow their top. But when they do, you better call out the army and fire brigade.

Contrast them to those who are quick to anger, have a short fuse and as yu quint, dem vex. “Careful, don't even look at her cross way or she'll fly off the handle.” Maybe getting angry is the right thing to do instead of holding it in and then exploding inside. Perhaps it's better to vent and let off steam rather than bottling it up and succumbing to the pressure.

Lord knows, sometimes I feel like getting on bad in traffic, but then I think of my respectable role as a martial artist, television producer and newspaper columnist. Public anger certainly wouldn't look good on my resume. So I manage and control it through my martial arts training.

I'm sure that there are other people who feel the same way, such as members of the clergy. Can you imagine parson having an extreme bout of anger? “Mi say, di man of de cloth let off some cloth pon de taximan.” Hey, even Jesus got angry when He threw out the money changers from the church.

Anger management should be practised though, as unbridled anger can be destructive.

More time.

Footnote: The rain falls on the just and on the unjust. What lovely rain we've been having. For some it's a blessing, for others a nightmare as they get flooded out and suffer from severe leaks. But rain is necessary and we do need it. The water levels at our storage facilities are back up, saving the National Water Commission blushes, until early next year when we go through the same song and dance of water restrictions again as the silly cycle continues. We must be the only country in the world that has water restrictions during the rainy season. The rain and lightning have played havoc on the schoolboy football season, resulting in matches being postponed. This has been the worst in recent memory. But rain it must, for water is life.

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