This is open letter to the prime minister and the JEEP secretariat.
Madam Prime Minister, like you, I have embarked on a path of working, working, working and less talking, lest I talk myself into oblivion.
Regardless of the fact that I am not employed, I planned a litany of events for my birthday — January 20, 2013 — without any clear path or course of action.
On January 18, I journeyed to St Ann where I saw some of my friends and relatives. Being that I had not seen them in little over a year, around the same time you took office, I deem this visit a success befitting JEEP designation.
Then, on January 19, I was out of cash, so I could not get onto the Internet to wish my favourite entertainment personality, Dolly Parton, happy birthday. This little bump put a damper in my quest to be JEEP-certified. But given that the JEEP is not properly thought out and planned, I figured they would not be too quick to penalise me for that one little hiccup.
On the night of January 19, I journeyed back to St James, where I reluctantly reside at the moment, and in the dead of night I started my preparation for the day ahead. I broke, husked, washed, grated, and squeezed coconuts, then peeled, washed, and grated sweet potatoes in anticipation of baking some succulent puddings.
When the clock struck midnight I was up, busier than a bee, and it dawned on me that I am getting old with nothing to show. However, in a split second I was once again upbeat as I remembered that I still had my youth and that Jamaica is 50 years as an Independent country with very little to show in the way of progressive development of industries such as, manufacturing, mining, agriculture, agri-processing, tourism, and other economic staples to keep the country afloat and from becoming the bastard cousin at the 'World Fair' that no one wants to sit beside.
At 1:45 am, I decided to call it quits, as I know that a good night's rest is essential to staying young. So I went to bed, but awoke at 6:40 am sharp to continue my journey of events that I hope the JEEP Secretariat would consider worthy of their designation.
At 10:00 am I arrived at a friend's house where we baked an oven full of goodies to include cornmeal and sweet potato puddings. At the end of the day, we had a successful baking, and to think that most of it was unplanned; we could not help but think like the JEEP that muddles along and takes onto itself various existing projects and rebrand them; our day was no different from that of what a JEEP employee would experience on any given day.
Then, on Monday, January 21 I embarked on yet another piece of work — labouring over a bath of dirty laundry — that I feel should be considered a JEEP project.
That too was a massive success, or at least in my mind. If that wasn't enough, I took on the task of marking some test papers for a friend. On reflection, I would say my weekend escapade of unplanned, unthought-of, ill-conceived activities is much like anything that is currently being branded JEEP project.
While something is being done, there are no real plans to say this is how it will be approached and this is the expected result I am looking for. The good thing, though, is that nothing turned out to be catastrophic, even though I just went along like a blind man feeling his way through a crowded street.
So here I am, making an appeal to the JEEP Secretariat and my prime minister, the Most Hon Portia Simpson Miller, to please come and certify my weekend of working, working, working.
Just in case you are wondering how that is going to be done when all activities have already taken place, I have got pictures to show.
Montego Bay, St James