Jazz blues

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Dear Editor,

I attended last Friday night's show at the Jamaica Jazz & Blues Festival, armed a list printed by the organisers entitled, "All you need to know to enhance your jazz experience", outlining various do's and don'ts. It turned out these were mostly inapplicable. Here are the real do's that should have been disclosed to the public:

(1) Definitely wear comfortable shoes, because the "car park" is actually a patchily bulldozed field.

(2) Bring a dust mask - the "car park" will be blanketed with dust.

(3) Come late. Abandon your car wherever you feel like it. Don't worry, there will be neither police oversight nor an adequate number of parking attendants.

(4) Ignore all walkways and other patrons and push your way to the front. It's no problem to stand in front of those who were there earlier, nor do you have to listen to the very few security personnel who might make a half-hearted effort to keep walkways clear.

(5) Make sure you are in the full bloom of good health. Were you to feel ill and need to get out, you won't be able to. You will also be ankle deep in garbage.

(6.) No point going back to your car after the show, even if you are blocking others. No one is going to be able to move for a good two hours. Best to join one of the after parties.

(7) Leave pillows and beverages in the car for when you get tired and stumble back to it. Have a nap. When you hear other cars start, wake up, because perhaps then you will be able to jostle your way out of the car "field".

I see organiser Mr Walter Elmore expressing the view that patrons will remember the performance of Celine Dion, but not the parking chaos. I assure him he is wrong. And I want my money back for Friday night.

Diana McCaulay

Kingston 10

dmccaulay@cwjamaica.com