There's simply no excuse for killing someone when a relationship goes south

There's simply no excuse for killing someone when a relationship goes south

Friday, January 17, 2020

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Dear Editor,

The recent killing of females by their male partners has caused great distress and much public outrage. As much as Jamaica's murder rate is ridiculously high, the murder of women and children still strikes a rather gut-wrenching chord in most if not all Jamaicans.

The public discussion that has ensued has, however, been incredulous, as some people are of the opinion that the victims are to be blamed for their demise. The idea of a man “investing” in a woman; be it by sending her to school, renting her a house, paying her bills, buying her clothes and shoes, etc, does not entitle him to ending her life if he finds out she was being cunning or he thinks she is being disingenuous.

As adults we all owe a duty of care to ourselves. We cannot be so blinded by love, lust, or infatuation that we don't ask essential questions or act with caution so as to protect ourselves in relationships.

Firstly, if you cannot afford to invest in a woman, don't. Allow a woman to be understanding and appreciative of what you can reasonably afford to bring to the table. If she does not — hint, hint — move right along. Most men will only shower women with gifts if they are also getting something in return, mainly sex. Isn't this the woman's contribution to the relationship if she has nothing more to give or cannot afford the material things? Isn't her time spent with a man giving her emotions an investment in the relationship? What monetary value can be placed on such acts? We need to stop discounting a woman's contribution because it may not be material in nature.

Men need to stop being cowards and view relationships as reciprocal arrangements; you give and you get, you win and you lose. Your investment can be lost or it can multiply into something even more meaningful. It cannot be construed that if a woman decides to move on that means it's death and destruction.

If women in Jamaica were to be of the same emotional disadvantage as males Jamaica would be mostly populated by females as Jamaican males have failed women time and time again. Still, there is simply no excuse for killing the other person when a relationship goes south.

Good men are out there, good women are out there too. As a country we need to start with the socialisation of males and females in a very different way.

Javid Brown

Negril, Westmoreland

javidbrown@gmail.com


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