To me fair friend,
You never can be old
For as you were when first your eye I eyed,
Such seems your beauty still.
—Shakespeare, Sonnet 104
Even with age, the person still admires the object of his desire, who can never be old. I'm sure you've seen old friends and marvel at how good they still look. And I know that you've also seen other old friends and can't believe how mash-up they look.
It's a fact that people love to look at and adore beautiful things. And whether it be an inanimate object such as a sleek car — if you're a man— or fancy jewellery — if you're a woman — a beautiful, gorgeous thing certainly brings joy to the looker.
It's all relative though, as beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, and what catches your eye, may not catch the other person's.
When I see how some women gawk and drool over fancy jewellery on TV I marvel. I just don't get it. I am also fascinated by the way some men will carry on over the sleek lines of a car — as they feel and caress the smooth metal — or even a gun. Yes, a gun. I have seen men hold and fondle a firearm, a fully chrome-plated killing machine, and admire its lines and cold metal feel, and refer to it as gorgeous. These are licensed firearm holders who talk about nothing but rounds, clips, caliber and range.
That, too, I just don't get. But, like I said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Two people will look at a painting and one loves it while the other abhors it and would rip it to shreds if given a chance.
But we all have our objects of beauty. For me, it's a beautiful woman any day. And for some women it's a handsome man. And that's the genesis of my tale this week, as it was spurred and inspired by a lady friend of mine who finds some men simply gorgeous. We'll see why, right after these letters.
Regarding Bedroom Fiasco, I can't add anything to what you have already said. You must have one of the greatest jobs on Earth, as I can just imagine the joy and excitement you must have interviewing your sources while researching all those relationship issues, and then the fun of writing it all. Your sources seem to tell all unabashedly. In this case, the 'kiss' you take would be about the same as you give.
Bedroom fiasco is so real, as many couples dread when night falls and they have to spend those awkward hours together. Many cannot wait for morning to break, as they neither give nor derive any pleasure from each other. At times it's more than a fiasco, but more like a nightmare as they fumble and grope in the ignorance of a sexual wasteland. Some simply do not bother to indulge, and do not bother each other anymore, as they sleep together without intimacy. After a while the years pass, and sex is but a memory, and a distant one too. It may cost too much to seek it outside, so they just eliminate it from their lives. I know what bedroom fiasco is, I know, I really know.
Referring to your footnote about our weather forecasters, let me just tell you that when I want an accurate report I watch The Weather Channel or BBC. They both give a comprehensive and fairly accurate forecast of our region. So far I have fared well from these reports and know when to expect rain or not. Can't say the same about our local people.
A few weeks ago during the Olympics, I had some friends over to watch the races. Or so I thought. The husband was interested in the sport, but the wife was more interested in the bodies of the male athletes. Not only that, but hubby complained that for the past few months, his wife has been admiring other men, and telling him how handsome those men are, and how well-built, and blah, blah, blah. Should he be worried? I don't think so, for his wife truly loves him.
But the mere fact that your wife is looking at other men and referring to them as good-looking and gorgeous may be cause for concern for some men who are not secure in their skins. They may begin to think, "I wonder if she doesn't find me attractive anymore?" or, "Am I looking old and pop-down to her, does she want a younger, hard-bodied man?" Those thoughts are natural if your partner keeps on looking at other people, and not only admiring them, but verbalising it too. "Ooohhh, he is so GORGEOUS!"
At first I sort of took the husband's complaints with a grain of salt, until I heard, with my very own ears, his wife's comments about an athlete in the Olympics. The guy's name is Ryan Bailey, and he is a USA sprinter. Oh yes, the very same one Usain Bolt demolished, dusted and left in his jet stream in the 4x100 metres relay. Apparently he is America's new hope in sprinting.
But not only that, he seems to be the cover boy, the poster boy, the heartthrob of the ladies, including my friend's wife, who said out loud that he is absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous, imagine that, and right there before her husband, me and my wife, and other people. Can a man be gorgeous? She seems to think so, as do many other women, I found out after.
What makes this man gorgeous? I would not know, for I have stated before that I cannot tell if a man is handsome or not. I simply cannot. I can spot a beautiful woman from a mile away, I can look at my wife and see that she is gorgeous, but to look at a man and determine if he's handsome or not is above my pay scale.
People say that I am handsome, and truth be told I do not or cannot see it. Okay, I may be 6'4" and weigh 200 pounds, but as far as being handsome, I cannot tell, for man can't tell if man is handsome or not... unless you're so inclined, I suppose. It's against the laws of nature. Do you remember Narcissus from Greek mythology? He was the guy who was so in love with his looks that he kept on staring at his reflection in a stream until one day he fell in and drowned. Hence, the word narcissistic: people who are obsessively in love with their looks.
Women rave about Denzel Washington, Richard Gere, George Clooney and other movie stars, even as men drool over Halle Berry, J-Lo, Beyonce, and others. But can a man look at those male movie stars and deem them gorgeous? Would you, as a man, look at Ryan Bailey as he approached the starting blocks to get beaten by Bolt and say, "Wow, that guy is gorgeous." Leave that to the ladies.
Looks do play such an important part in people's lives, though, even as many try to downplay them and say that they're not all that important. Don't believe them. I was even mildly surprised to hear a reggae song recently that extolled the virtues of dealing with an ugly woman over a gorgeous woman. What hogwash, I thought, in this day and age when women, and men too, are so into looks as they parade around with hair weaves, false eyelashes, tattooed eyebrows, skin creams and anything else that enhances their beauty, this guy is going to sing that he wants an ugly woman.
Okay, I have heard the old calypso songs warning of the dangers of a beautiful woman, to wit: "Never let a pretty woman be your wife, as she'll bring you nothing but trouble and strife," but that's different, that's pointing out the dangers and risks of being involved with a gorgeous woman, as other men will desire her, too. And if you can't handle that, you're in big trouble, as you'll fill your head with ideas of her cheating with these men all the time.
But, to actually say that an ugly woman is to be desired is beyond me. No offence to ugly women, of course. Come to think of it, I haven't seen an ugly woman in years, as either our gene pool is strong, or the beauty products are doing their job. Jamaican women have style.
But what makes a man gorgeous? I had to ask the ladies, of course. Some said that he has to be fairly tall, but not too tall, well built, with adequate muscles, but not like the bodybuilder type, masculine features, nice smooth skin and a nice mouth with kissable lips. When I heard this I concluded that, by their yardstick, I must truly be gorgeous, then, like USA sprinter Ryan Bailey.
I still cannot see it though. My wife has been saying that I'm gorgeous for years, but I took it as words from a woman in love. Plus, you all know the old saying, "Every country fowl tink seh him and his family is peacock." Narcissus I'm not, but I'll take her words for what they're worth.
So, can we find other people gorgeous, even though we're involved or married? Should my bredrin be nervous because his wife finds other men attractive and even calls them gorgeous? Should a wife feel threatened if hubby admires other women, and looks, stares, drools and calls them gorgeous?
"Honey, look at that girl, she is absolutely gorgeous, and look at that other one, she's even more gorgeous... and look at that next one..."
What is strange is that a woman will point out a gorgeous woman to her man, saying, "Look, she's your type of girl." But when he looks, she's miffed and says, "Okay, you looking too long now." "But is you show her to me." I guess you can look, but don't linger too long... just a prips.
So, other people can be gorgeous, but should you express it to your significant other? What do you think? More time.
Footnote: I must say that I have a big problem with high school students jumping ship and playing sports for other schools. I have no problem if a child transfers in third or fourth form or gets a sports scholarship to a high school, but when boys can leave fifth form, then attend sixth form at another school just to play football for that school, then I bristle.
This was brought to my attention even more when about five KC boys left North Street, including the captain of the football team, and went to Wolmer's. After serving five years at KC, then starting at Wolmer's for not even a term, then playing Manning Cup, proudly wearing their new colours is beyond me. What if they win the cup, how will those boys feel? Is there no loyalty anymore, no sense of belonging? Times certainly have changed.
By the way,I keep hearing and reading this almost every day even from eminent lawyers in the media, that a man is, or was, hung. I always learned that people are hanged... not hung... hanged. Paintings are hung.