Older women's appeal
Age cannot wither her,
nor custom stale
her infinite variety.
— Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra 11, 2
DID you hear that? Did you really check out the words that Antony said to Cleopatra? I really love that quote, and to show that life does imitate art, actors Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, who played Antony and Cleopatra in the movie, had a legendary lifetime romance as they married each other not once, but twice.
Age could not wither her, she defied the ageing process, she refused to give in to the normal ravages of time, with the wrinkles and sagging skin, she did not succumb to the ticking of the clock. That's how much Antony loved his queen, even though perhaps he was merely seeing her through the eyes of a man in love.
But maybe she really did conquer the ageing process and remained forever young. Truth be told, Liz Taylor did live up to that quote, as age did not wither her at all, and she was sought after by suitors even when she got much older, and was married many times.
Whatever the case may be, people do grow old and it's something that most persons do not look forward to. At this point, should I say, especially women? Well, it's arguable that women fear growing old more than men. After all, it's said that men grow old gracefully and are distinguished, dapper, suave, debonair, while women are said to fade a bit, put on weight, begin to look like their mothers and fight real hard to retard their biological clock.
Now, before you get on my case and cuss me, in all reality, can you imagine the female equivalent of a Hugh Hefner, in his Playboy Mansion, over 80 years old and still squiring 20-year-old girls? Now you get my point, huh... I'm merely being realistic, not cruel, as society makes these rules, not me.
But guess what? Older women still need love, and older women do have appeal and many can outshine the younger women nowadays. At least that's the thinking of many young men who somehow do not care for the young girls of today, but go more for the older woman's appeal. This was brought to my attention by an older female British reader who made sure to point this fact out to me via a lengthy e-mail. More on this right after some feedback.
That piece about 'Old Time Lovers' was spot on, and I especially liked the part where you mentioned that class is often wasted and lost on sketels. Here's my experience as an older guy. I held open a door at the bank to let a young lady through, but lo and behold, she stopped dead in her tracks and seemed perplexed when I motioned for her to come through. She asked me why. "Because it's the mannerly thing to do," I replied. At which point she flatly refused and said that as an independent woman, she doesn't need any man to hold open a door for her. So much for old-time loving and some women. They simply do not appreciate it.
As an older man, I appreciated your article on old-time lovers. That's the way I was brought up and I will never change, even though the world changes around me.
I believe there are men out there who are dying to meet women of my age group, because some of us are quite attractive. I go to the gym every day and still look hot, I'm told. I say bring on the old-time lovers, I'm dying to meet one as these young guys aren't cutting it.
Who remembers the movie, The Graduate, in which Dustin Hoffman had an affair with the much older Anne Bancroft, the famous Mrs Robinson? Well, at least you may remember the song, And here's to you, Mrs Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know... sung by Simon and Garfunkel.
That movie highlighted the appeal of the older woman, as the young guy was totally smitten by her, and that was long before the era of cougars and all that. That type of relationship is more common, or should I say, more popular, than you may believe, but it may not get as much publicity or airplay as the older men/young women syndrome.
In fact, there are men who specialise in older women, and not because they're into the Oedipus Complex ball game either, or want anything material from them, but simply because they find older women appealing. Here are some comments that some young men made regarding older women.
"I'd do it again? Definitely, no question. Oh yeah, and once you've done it, you definitely look at older women in another way."
"I wasn't looking for an older woman, and she wasn't looking for a younger man, but it just happened. I was 38 and she was 56. Our relationship is unique, because it's not just built on sex, but on trust, respect and love."
"I find that I'm attracted to a woman who has some degree of self-possession. I like the stimulation of a sharp intellect. I like sitting down to dinner with someone who has a level of conversation I can appreciate and enjoy."
Now those comments are all from men who are still in their 30s and are entranced by the allure and appeal of the older woman. Why? You may ask. What does an older woman have that a young girl does not possess? After all, isn't the mantra, "Be young and beautiful and the world will beat a path to your door?"
Apparently this does not always ring true, for there are many drawbacks and much baggage that a young girl has that the older woman is not burdened with. For one, many young men tend to think that young girls are too focused on themselves, their looks, their sex appeal, their bodies and their urgent need to start a family.
"I tried dating young women and I got tired of hearing them talk about their hair, nails, skin products, eyelashes and prospective wedding dates," said one young man. That can be such a turn-off, and leaves many young men quite nervous and tense when in the company of such women.
An older woman, on the other hand, has a sense of maturity and confidence, and even though she still wants to look attractive, she does not obsess about it. She knows how she looks and is confident enough not to keep on harping about it. It's like a quiet calm, a confidence born of a woman who knows that she looks good. She exudes an air of relaxation and ease, and is like an oasis in the desert of hot, but dry and shallow young women.
An older woman is also an acute conversationalist, and more importantly, knows how to listen. Nothing annoys some men like the incessant chatter from some of these young girls who go on and on and on, speaking much, but saying nothing.
Sure, she's nice to look at and makes a man's desire rise through the roof, but after the hot and heavy sex, there's nothing to talk about, nothing to share... simply nothing. That's what many young men say.
Hey, some men do not mind that, and will flit all over the place with these girls, but after a while they realise that they cannot tolerate those women for any protracted period of time. So they gravitate towards the appeal of the older woman. "At least she can hold a decent conversation, and is on the same intellectual level as I am," said one young man.
Some men cherish the experience that older women bring, and revel in the fact that they can learn from them every day. In fact, some young men told me that they got tired of always having to tell the younger women about life, and prefer to share experiences with the older women. It's just nice to be in the company of someone who's done things and been places and can share them on a mature level.
Maturity also plays a big part in this appeal, for being immature is such a turn-off for many men. But hark, nobody wants an old, grumpy, miserable, matronly woman either, but a woman who is mature and knows what life's priorities are can be most stimulating, a young man told me.
"The priorities of an older woman are just different and she's not competing with her friends for attention, plus she knows what's important in life," another young man explained to me.
But now we come to the physical part, which is extremely important in any relationship. You would have thought that the young sexy-body girls would have the edge over their older counterparts. Not so, said the young men I spoke to. "What the older woman brings to the table, or bedroom, is incredible, and most of all, she is patient," said one impassioned young man. Yes, the sex seems to be great with the older woman, and that in itself adds to their appeal with the younger men.
"Some of those young girls are too much into themselves and don't really share sex. They tend to 'give it up' rather than share and enjoy it with the man," said one young man. Usually the older woman is more sexually experienced, but not overly so, and knows how to guide the younger man through all the dips and curves of the winding road.
Now, be careful ladies, for being older is no guarantee to attract a young man who likes older women. You have to bring the right equipment to the game and have to look good while playing. So the term 'older woman' does not mean old and mash-up or pop-down and chakka-chakka. You still have to look good, healthy, desirable and appealing for the younger man to cast his gaze in your direction.
Remember, the package has to look good before the product is taken off the shelf. So as long as you're still well-put-together, and put on your 'A' game, young men will find you appealing.
Footnote: I am flabbergasted at the level of ignorance displayed by so many of our young people nowadays, and I'm talking about basic general knowledge. I'm currently working on a feature that includes The Racers Track Club, where Usain Bolt, Yohan Blake, Jermaine Gonzales and others train, coached of course by the legendary Glen Mills. Yet, much to my dismay, when I went to a particular tertiary campus to get some reactions and opinions on camera about Racers Club, three-quarters of the students interviewed had no idea what Racers Track Club was or worse, who Glen Mills was. I was stunned.
This is a world-renowned organisation with people who are constantly in the news -- radio, TV and print -- yet it was as if I was asking about the ancient practices of the Mayan civilisation. I still can't get over it. And there are so many other areas that they have no idea of, either.
But someone told me, "Listen, if it's not on Facebook or Twitter, dem not going to know anything about it." One distressed lecturer added, "We subscribe to all the papers, plus leave the TV in the lobby on local stations just to keep them in tune, but it's a challenge." How disturbing.