Lifestyle

Wandering wives, horny husbands

Daddy Oh

With Tony Robinson

Sunday, December 30, 2012    

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Page is an ass, a secure ass;

He will trust his wife;

He will not be jealous...

God be praised for my jealousy.

— Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor ii, 2

Into the chamber

Wickedly he stalks

And gazeth

On her yet unstained bed.

— Shakespeare, The Rape of Lucrece, Stanza 53

WHEN will it stop, when will it ever end, this thing that causes so much pain and misery to couples, even as it brings untold pleasure to those indulging? Sadly this pleasure is not to each other, but to other people, outside of their union. And it has many names. Cheating, bun, giving it away, adultery, to be cuckolded, are but some of the descriptions that are given to the act of women and men who take unto themselves another who is not their own.

Usually it's the men who are given prominence if not praise for these deeds, and in fact they are often canonised for their actions of stepping out of the marital bed. But no such luck for the women, who are cursed, vilified, scorned and called vile names for that same behaviour. I can't recall throughout history, hearing of a man being tarred and feathered or made to wear a scarlet letter for his horny actions. Neither can I recall hearing of a man being made to wear a chastity belt.

Alas, that is the domain of women who dare to give their heart, mind, soul and body to another man. As a matter of fact, all they have to do is give away their body and it's a cause for crosses.

That's our spiel today, 'Wandering wives and horny husbands', right after some feedback to 'Learning fast'.

Hi Tony,

In answer to your question on common-law marriages, this goes back hundreds of years in England where couples were allowed to be married legally in certain jurisdictions and under certain conditions due to changes to the common law of England in the Marriage Act. Today, the term is incorrectly used where couples are living together without legally getting married. The extent of legal recognition of this type of relationship differs in each country or jurisdiction.

On the question of who is the boss in the home, as Dr Phil said to the husband, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?"

Wickham

Ontario, Canada

Teerob,

So many men do not learn at all, not fast, not medium, not slowly, and keep on making the same mistakes over and over. It baffles me when I see how some men are clueless to the ways of women, and treat women like they are property. Maybe it's how they viewed their fathers, or ironically, maybe it's how they were spoilt by their mothers and expect women to always cater to them and provide a service when they are summoned. That has been my experience.

Sandra

There is a trend nowadays to think that all things are getting worse. We are inundated with news of wars and disasters that bombard our senses and batter our sensibilities. It makes us numb. But is this really so, or is it that because of mass media that immediately informs us of news from almost anywhere in the world as soon as it occurs, we think that things are worse?

The question is now asked, is mankind worse now than before, and are men and women committing worse sins than before? And specifically, are women stepping out more on their men than in former years; is more bun being given, are more men being cuckolded, or is it just that more women are admitting to it than in the past?

In years gone by, women were more secretive about their affairs, but for some reason, wandering wives seem to have no reservations about airing their linen in the public domain. I say this based on the numerous letters from women who have cheated on their men and are now riddled with guilt, or have fears regarding the negative health implications from their indiscretions.

One wrote to the advice doctor saying, "Dear Doctor, I cheated on my husband while he was away on a business trip and now I have two fears. One is that I may have contracted an STI and the other is that I may be pregnant. How will I know whose baby it is?"

Now, that kind of letter would scare any man, for apart from the fact that she had sex with another man, she did so without protection, and is now fretting about catching something.... or pregnancy. We never would have seen such a letter a decade ago. That does not mean that women were not doing that sort of thing eons ago, but now they are bold enough, barefaced you may even say, to go public with it.

What is scary is that a wife could have unprotected sex with another man, in spite of all the campaigns that advise against it. But as someone said, "When the heat of passion turn up, all logic and common sense fly through the window."

This other wife even had the gall to confess to her husband that she had a fling with a guy and the temerity to be upset because now hubby refuses to touch her. That really incensed her, for a woman spurned gives hell to pay. He could really touch her, but not in the way that she wanted.

Now you're going to say that men have been doing this for centuries, and you are perfectly right. But it's still disconcerting to see the number of women who have not only liberated their minds from mental slavery, but their bodies as well, from the shackles of monogamy and fidelity.

Another guy wrote that he fell in love with a married woman after making numerous trips to her house to do some painting. Now he is deeply involved with her and is torn between his feelings for her and what he feels for his girlfriend. The husband is clueless.

There was even a letter from a lady who wept that her best friend, who is also married, is sleeping with her husband. The question is, why are so many wives stepping out and jumping off the marital mattress and into the beds of other men? Some even take the men home and roll around in the marital bed with no compunction.

Let's jump to the men, as they are easier to comprehend. Basically a man is always looking, as men are guided by, if not ruled by the visual. Advertisers know this and exploit it, as almost every product is marketed with some sexy woman up front. So a man will be married, but still cast a gaze in the direction of a pretty woman, in real life, on TV, in magazines or at

the movies.

Some husbands will fall prey to this and give in to this lust. Thus we have the horny husbands who can't keep their peckers in their pants. So it's a basic premise, a man will hump almost anything that catches his eye, moreso in his imagination than the reality, for those who can't, do dream a lot. The physical rules the emotions.

But why does a wife wander? Are women also ruled by lust, leering libido, pumping passion, searing sexuality and are driven to wander, even as men do? We always thought that for women it was more of an emotional thing, and that she couldn't give her body to another man unless there was some emotional component involved. Is the modern woman changing?

My research was most revealing, as some wives actually admitted to having lustful thoughts towards men who they had seen. This has been corroborated by the many instances of maintenance men, cable guys, insurance men and mechanics who make housecalls and have slept with wives when they do so.

Service Reps exist, and I have written about them. This often occurs when the husband is away on a business trip in the country or overseas. Many people will not believe this, and there are some ladies who have told me that my column makes them angry, but the truth does hurt sometimes.

What is strange though, is that these wives will admit to loving their husbands and have no intention of leaving, yet will plunge into a sexual escapade, often without the use of protection. In many cases they will even speak glowingly of their husbands, and of the marriage, yet have a fling with the guy next door. One wife even admitted to sleeping with her husband's brother when hubby was overseas for an extended time.

Is this new, is this increase in cases of wandering wives a modern phenomenon on our landscape, or are we now more aware of it because of mass media and the fact that now they are emboldened to make their deeds known to the public?

There used to be a time when wives were among the high-risk group for sexually transmitted diseases, because their husbands would go astray and bring bad stuff home. But now it seems as if many husbands are also at risk because their wandering wives are being careless and irresponsible. Have the tables turned, has the bedroom been spun upside down, are wandering wives now having the last laugh? The figures are startling.

More and more men are calling for DNA tests to verify paternity of their offspring, as they have no trust in their women. The test results often prove the waywardness of the women, and the fact that over 35 per cent of men tested are not the fathers of their children only adds to the fears.

Many women will laugh and say, "It's about time, serves them right, give them a taste of their own medicine." So even as the wives wander, the husbands wonder.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: And so another year is coming to a close. If you are reading this, then all the hype about the world ending on December 21, based on the interpretations of the Mayan calendar, was wrong. We look forward to another year of challenges, anticipation of achievement and hope for a better life.

I have no clichés here about love for fellowman and peace on Earth, but I still pray for that. I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to share my thoughts with you on matters of life. I'm also happy for your responses, whether they be praising or cussing me. At least it shows that you care enough to take the time to write.

I encourage reading widely, especially by our young ones, and I also encourage learning of a foreign language. Your world and your child's world will expand. Don't follow those who are pushing patois, they are already educated. Introduce your child to Spanish, French, Italian, German. I thank you sincerely, and I wish for you and yours a wonderful new year.

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