I thank God I am not a woman
To be touched
With so many giddy offences.
— Shakespeare, As you Like It, 111, 2
I beg your pardon... giddy offences you say? I will have you know, Sir, that what's giddy to you is quite serious to me. I can just imagine the women reacting that way to the above quote and saying something to that effect, which naturally, was uttered by a man.
But I don't think that he was that far off, although at this point I must be careful what I say here, for gone are the days when I could just write willy nilly about women and get away with it. Now I have someone to answer to... a higher power perhaps? But hey, it's all good, as my better half is very open-minded and sees the giddy offences that women commit, just like other men do.
The truth is, women do seem to have a lot of issues, and if it's not one thing, it's another. They're always complaining or distressed about something. This was brought even more to the fore last week while I was channel surfing and saw this programme on Oprah's network, OWN.
The studio was chock full of women, with not even one man in sight, and they were talking about their problems, crosses, frustrations, desperation, resignation, disappointments and angst with....you guessed it....men.
We'll find out more about these issues right after these letters responding to, 'Say no to sex'.
Hello Mr Robinson,
You can live with someone, have sex for many years, and think that you know the individual, right? You say to yourself, I have been living with this person for years, I have the intimacy, I see their daily routine/behaviour, so I want to get married now. You decided to get married with the expectation the marriage is going to be long lasting due to the fact that you already did everything -- sex, living together, shared finances, vacation, and family involvement. Playing house is not the answer. God, commitment, love, compromise and dedication are the ingredients to a lasting marriage.
You are correct about the woman's and man's right to say no, even when the act has started, but I think there should be a point of no return. I feel that after all the foreplay has taken place and the woman has allowed the man to enter those pearly gates, that should be the point of no return.
A spiritual union happens when two people have sex. You are connected to that person, and every other person the two of you have had sex with. You become one with that person spiritually, and carry them with you forever. Three persons are involved in a Christian marriage -- man, woman, and most of all God. 'A cord of three strands is not easily broken.' Ecclesiastics.
It's so amazing that women have so many issues in their lives. Naturally, most of these revolve around men, and as I watched that TV show with those dozens of women all prattling away, I had to sit back and take a deep breath and think, "How would that look if it was a studio full of men whining on about their issues with women?"
I can assure you that you'd never see such a TV programme, and if on the off chance somebody decided to produce such a programme, it would be ridiculed and laughed to scorn with unparalleled derision, by both men and women, in the same way that men who report that their wives beat them are treated. "Imagine, a TV show full of men bawling over women. Give me a break."
But women can get away with almost anything when it comes to gender issues. Hey, women can get away with almost anything, period, such as walking and holding hands in public, hugging in public, or even kissing. Let two men try that on the street and see what fate befalls them. And they say it's a man's world.
But what are these issues that had the women all lathered up? Naturally, they all had to do with, not family, not children, not finances, not health...but men. Almost all of the women were single for years, or recently broken up with their men, or married and divorced. In plain words, the bottom line was that they were manless and disillusioned with men.
Who's fault was that? Surely all the men in their lives couldn't be all bad? Remember the quote, 'The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in the stars, but in ourselves.' Even so, many women insisted that they were without blame and that all the men were scum of the Earth. That's a huge issue with women.
But there are some women who are honest with themselves and do some soul-searching and introspection and actually admit to their fault, or issue as they prefer to call it. One such issue was that many women admit to being too analytical when it comes to men and situations. They over-analyse everything and can't accept things at face value.
They will meet a man and from the first encounter, they start to sum up the guy from head to toe and read into every little thing that he does. Every nuance and gesture is analysed. "Hmm, he didn't compliment me, didn't tell me how nice my hair looked, or if he loved my perfume."
Instantly her analysis has summed him up and she has a strike against the poor dude, when truth be told, maybe the guy was nearsighted, or so nervous on that first date that he was concentrating on what to say to her. Yes, it is true, many times men are intimidated by a woman's beauty and are just grateful that she went out with him. For the entire evening, nerves mash him up. But Miss Analytical sees differently, and condemns the guy to only one date.
It's pretty much the same story with her next encounter, for Miss Sigmund Freud is at it again. This time she's like the quizmaster on Schools Challenge Quiz and asks why, why, why all the time.... in her mind, of course. She wants to know, "Why did he say that.... why did he laugh at that moment.... why did he knit his brow... why did he look at that woman across the room.... why, why, why?"
She has over-analysed every single nuance of the man and every situation has a hidden agenda as far as she's concerned. Her analysis borders on paranoia. Analyse this, analyse that, analyse yourself into a permanent single life.
Then there are the women who, 'Don't need a man.' Ha, where have I heard that song before? In the last two weeks, I have lost count of the numerous women who asked me to find a nice man for them. It gets worse with the new year. One said, "He must be mature, not below age 55, financially stable, decent and doesn't want any more children."
One lady asked me over and over again, "By the way, you haven't found anyone with potential for me yet?" Oh my, 'nice guy' and 'potential' those words resonate in my head all the time with these desperate women. And yet, there are women who say that they don't need a man. That's like a fat person saying that they don't want to lose weight, or a poor person saying that they don't want any money.
It's sort of like a wry irony, an acceptance of one's fate. That notion is shot down by the experts, for it's been established that every woman wants a man. Okay, the lesbians may not, but please note that in most lesbian relationships, one takes on the male persona, dress code and all. One basically is a man.
What they really mean when they say that they don't need a man is that they don't need a bad man with the accompanying worries. But a good man will do just fine. I have seen it so often; women cursing men all their lives, yet ending up involved with one and living happily. They found the ideal man. Still, it's an issue that women bandy about all the time. They repeat it so often that men believe them and stay away, so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Let a great guy come calling and see how fast that tune changes from, "I don't want a man," to "Man, I want you."
Another issue is baggage. But the irony is, the women with the most baggage boast that they have no baggage. Baggage can be so destructive and even airlines are charging extra for excess baggage. Pity the poor man who meets a woman with 'no baggage' only to find out that she's two hundred kilos over the limit.
Then there are those with baggage who flaunt it like a badge of honour and are not afraid to let the world hear, "I'm an emotional wreck, my father used to beat me, my uncle molested me, my first husband neglected me, my lesbian lover took away my second husband...I had a nervous breakdown."
"Whoa Nellie, slow down and take a breath, only one issue at a time. I really can't process so much information on a first date."
Believe it or not, one huge issue is that many women think that they're not good enough for the men who they desire. "Oh no, I can't match up to him as he's so accomplished. He's such an intellectual, smart and erudite. What would he want with me?" This issue is more common than you'd think, and even women who you would consider beautiful suffer from this.
In contrast, some think that no man is good enough for them. Others are too busy, or so they say, as they hide behind work and other distractions. But the operative word is, hide. That's their way of dealing with fear of rejection or their insecurities. Low self-esteem is a monster that eats away at many women, and is a huge issue.
So, women's issues have been the topic of so many discussions on TV, radio and in print. But who takes time to examine men's issues? The question is, do men have issues or do they accept women for who they are? More time.
Footnote: I have spent over half of my adult life in the media, from film, television, radio and print. And I must say that I am somewhat saddened by some of what I've been seeing and hearing. I'm not going to bore you with talk about 'the good old days' of media and all that sentimental crap, but my Lord, standards have really gone down the tubes in many areas.
On radio, those DJs, ZJs as they call themselves, are pathetic and have little grasp of the English language. And in some areas, the diction, pronunciation and grammar border on being juvenile. We used to be able to learn from the media. Thankfully there are still some pockets of excellence. But I wonder how the bad ones managed to get on the air, or are allowed to write the bad English that they write. I blame not them, but the managers. And now they're going to call and curse me.