"Tis not good,

That children should know

Any wickedness.

Shakespeare (The Merry Wives of Windsor)

Well, well, well, we have sown the wind and are reaping the whirlwind and everyone's running up and down like it's a big surprise. What did you expect, with the way modern parents treat their children. "Spare the rod and spoil the child," it is said, and I think that came from the Bible. I had better make sure, as my Bible-spouting friends will come down on me like manna from Heaven, as one did last week.

"Where you see in the Bible that women are hewers of wood and carriers of water?" she lashed. But I shall research it, for another time though.

The rod has been spared, the child has been spoilt and we are in deep crisis. Okay, so it's not only a Jamaican problem, it occurs internationally, but should we seek comfort in that?

Should we wait until what happened at Columbine in the United States where those two boys killed countless students, or in Germany where this expelled youth killed 17 people, including 14 teachers? Don't think that it can't happen here, as we so love to play catch up and follow fashion. Trinidad is also ketching hell from school pickney, so it's close, real close.

Bringing up children is not easy, but if our parents could do it, why can't this generation? Suddenly parenting has taken on a new dimension as principles and morals of the past have been put aside.

"Dis is modern time now, and me nah treat my pickney de same way my parents did treat me," is what I've heard. Some 'new wave' parents don't even want their kids to call them mommy or daddy, "Just call me Tony".

Of course your children can be your friends, but they are still your children and need to realise that. Big as I am, I would never ever think of calling my parents by their first names, or even my aunts and uncles. That's the way we were brought up. So many kids nowadays are on a first name basis, very familiar, and you know that familiarity breeds- contempt. No wonder some children can't stand their parents.

As for spanking?

"No way, me nah lick my pickney, next thing him hate me," is what many mothers say. As a result the child gets away with murder, and I mean that literally, as murder is being committed by children nowadays. I remember back in high school, we were caned and put in detention if we broke any serious rules. Now no teacher dare cane a child, or mummy and daddy will give that teacher a proper thrashing. As for detention, I know of mothers who have gone to the school to ask why their child was put in detention with the others. After all, her son is an angel who would never do anything.

"Him tell me say it was dem odder one who was giving trouble, not him."

In my day, if that happened to me, I could just hear my mother saying, "Well, sometimes the good have to suffer with the bad."

But now, it's always the other child, never yours, who is causing the problems. Parents should show an interest in their children's welfare, but that doesn't mean going down to the school and 'bad-man' off teacher.

Children now have this strong misguided sense of power and feel that if they do anything wrong, mommy or daddy will defend them. That's why I feel so strongly about that Munro issue, the wrong message was sent to those boys, as their sentence was overturned on a technicality. I suppose the Frome boys aren't so lucky as maybe they're not so well connected, but that's another issue.

In striking contrast, I know of a mother who went to her son's school and insisted that he serve a detention that he had missed because of a family emergency. Much to her credit, the mom stood before the class and told the teacher that he should serve his time, as it was the entire class that was punished. The teacher was overwhelmed by this sort of support. So even in this seemingly losing battle, there are pockets of positive resistance. The boy in question is extremely bright, mannerly and a star athlete too. His parents do not abuse teachers. The irony is that those same parents who go and 'wild-up' the teachers, and see no wrong in their children, will spare no expense, and in fact insist that dem pickney graduate. That means so much to them, that even from kindergarten school, they have to graduate. There they are, all of four years old and bedecked with gown and cap, graduating. Ask them how to spell graduate.

In many cases graduating ceremonies turn out to be scenes of unruly behaviour, as many schools have found out. Many have had to be cancelled, as parents and pickney get on bad. Just last week I heard some stories about what goes on in schools, and at graduations, that even open-minded me found difficult to fathom. Sex in classrooms, guns, cleavers, you name it, it'll leave you in a daze.

Enter the cell phones in schools. As I've said before, I'm totally against it, as are almost all schools, based on media reports. It's disruptive, yet parents still insist on giving their children cell phones to profile with at school.

The excuses come in abundance, "Oh it's just to keep in contact in case of anything," is the favourite one. How about allowing the child to think for himself? A recent incidence of violence where a teacher's lip was bitten off, started with a teacher reprimanding a child about a cell phone. It ended up with police and courthouse business.

But even as the schools are against it, the parents are for it, after all, parents know more than teacher. Those same parents have the gall to complain, or boast, that their children run up exorbitant phone bills. I know of one that reached thousands of dollars.

People I'm serious, the lady told me that her six-year-old son ran up her bill to $25,000. "So who did he call?" I asked her.

"Oh, all his little friends have cell phones and they chat a lot," was her reply. Another one reached $15,000 dollars, and mummy merrily paid it. Yet dem same one bawl how times hard and nutten nah gwaan.

Don't just think that it's only the boys too, as the girls display frightening degrees of aggression and violence. Serious fights and stabbings often leading to death, are not unheard of. That's one area where equal gender opportunity reigns.

Parents allow too much, and in many cases it's the tail wagging the dog, as the youngsters rule. I know of many parents who have absolutely no control over their children, and in fact, it's the child who wields the power in the relationship and chooses what's to be done.

"Shut up, stop nagging and bothering me, and if yu don't watch it you'll soon see what happen, now leave me alone."

That, of course, is the child addressing the mother.

Let's face it, I agree that many teachers aren't like those we had years ago, but still, help them, don't abuse them. Everyday we see more and more horror stories of violence in schools. It's no point being smug and pointing to the schools that make the headlines, thinking that yours is exempt. It's widespread.

After that last Calabar incident where the guard was stabbed up, my good friend, a Calabar old boy, was distressed and lamented how, 'those types of boys' could have gottten into Calabar in the first place. I assured him that it occurs everywhere, from Campion, Ardenne, KC, Wolmer's, JC, Munro, Mona, Immaculate, St Andrew, et al, it doesn't matter.

Schools are in a daze. More time.

Send e-mail comments to Seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: So, yet another ray of hope for discipline, as superstar Irish football captain, Roy Keane, was sent home from the World Cup Finals for his bad behaviour and attitude towards his manager. How civilised. I wonder if we'll ever reach that stage here with our untouchables.

Bun, jacket, adultery, see the movie Unfaithful folks, then check me next week as I explore. It's not only us that's doing it.

Feeding the multitude

DANGEROUS PETS

Pepper Pot