You did know
How much you were my conqueror, and that
My sword, made weak by my affection, would
Obey it on all cause.
- Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra

Tony Robinson

NOW those words were actually said by Antony to Cleopatra, and not the other way around. Imagine that, a big, brave man admitting that his sword has been made weak by his affection and she is his conqueror! In other words, he has been deboned, filleted, defanged, bobbitted, lost his gonads, sucked dry of his testosterone and left weak-kneed.

Well, if that can happen to a man of that fortitude, imagine what chance mere mortals have, simple men who happen to take women to be their brides, not knowing that in a short time, the master becomes the servant and the teacher becomes the pupil!
It happens over a period of time, so subtly, imperceptibly, like the movement of a glacier, or the dripping of water in caves to form stalactites, but it happens nevertheless and leaves as powerful a mark as those forces of nature.

Ironically, if you ask most men if they're afraid of their wives, they would rail up on you and deny the very existence of such a thought. "Say what, me fraid a my wife? You must be mad; is me wear the pants in the house, and I say what goes or not." That's what I hear, but what I see is a completely different matter, and more men are p.whipped than you would imagine.

Do you remember this old calypso song that went, "Oh my commanding wife, she come to destroy my life." Well, that was from way back then, and even though the rhythm has changed, the words remain the same and the p...whipped men dance to the same beat. Sure, men may appear to be bigger and stronger, but that's all a part of the illusion, and all that bravado is but a cover to hide his fear of his wife.

It never started out that way, for when he first met her, he called all the shots, he dictated the moves, where they went, what they did, how long they stayed. It was even his circle of friends that was the focus of their social lives. But aha, things and times do change, and the pendulum doth swing, resulting in a shift of the balance of power.

After a while, the poor man is sunk, and becomes yet another disrespected, dejected, despondent, denied, depressed, disenfranchised, dope of a husband. Whereas in the past he would answer your queries or requests by saying, " I will see to it right away," or, "I will think about it and get right on it," or, "Sure, I'll do it, no problem." Now all that's changed, as the words 'my wife' is liberally sprinkled through every conversation, as in.

"Sure, it's okay, but let's see what my wife has to say about it first," or, "I'd love to cement the deal, but let me run it by my wife first." Either that, or he'll make the decision then come crawling back to you saying, "Ahm, me wife say that it can't work. sorry."

Now sure, you're going to say that he's merely being the good husband, involving his wife in the decision making process, but the joke is, his wife does not operate like that. Talk to her and she replies, "Sure I'll do it," or, "Of course, just tell me when." "But what about your husband?"

"Oh don't worry about him, everything is under control." She will call the shots then goes home and tells her husband of her plans, or he finds out long after it's done. I have seen it too often, in too many couples for it not to be true. I have seen men become so downtrodden and emasculated as their wives not only controlled their business, not even allowing them to sign cheques, that they eventually had to whimper away, leaving everything to her, and end up lonely in some far off land, broken.

It usually starts when the man gives up control of the house, letting her decide and do everything, from choosing the furniture, to the type of stove to buy. Simple as you take it, that's the beginning of the end. When you speak to men who are currently in that situation, their justification and answer is, "Man, I just can't take the nagging and the cow bawling in me ears, so I'll just allow her and let her do anything, all for a peaceful life."

Heck, it always starts in the home, where the woman wants to dictate what the man does, when and where. A man's house is supposed to be his castle, yet it often turns out to be the lair of the dragon, and he has to do her bidding, day in, day out, forever and ever, just like the labours of Sysiphus. Remember him, damned to suffer eternity, rolling this huge boulder up a hill, then it would just roll down the other side where he had to roll it back up again? 'Upward forever, with silent endeavour, does Sysiphus roll his stone.'

Can you imagine great men like Julius Caesar, Marco Polo, Chaka Zulu, Ghengis Khan, Attila the Hun, being told what to do by their wives? "I'm off to conquer Europe, invade Poland, sack Rome." "Now you hold on now Attila, not before you take out the garbage and wash the dishes." History would have been indeed different, and all those great men would have been reduced and relegated to a mere footnote.

'Alexander the not so great, could have been great, but alas was p..whipped by Mrs. Alexander and couldn't leave home on time for his battles.' RIP.whipped. But back to modern times, where even the simple act of a man coming home becomes an issue. Speak to men who are P.whipped and you'll always hear the time factor being a problem for them. "Oh, I would love to stay and chat, but my wife expects me home at a certain time."

Their lives have not one shred of flexibility, but is dictated by what the wife has to say. Sure, point it out to him and he'll become defensive, saying, "No man, it's not that, but she expect me home for dinner at a certain time." Balderdash, he's p.whipped and doesn't even know it. He can't make a move, can't effect a change of plan, can't phone and tell her, "Listen, I'll be home late, talk to you when I get there." Show me a man who can do that and I'll show you a man who is not p..whipped.

Now I'm not advocating disrespecting your wife, far from that, but at least show some testicular fortitude, stand up to her. Instead, they take the coward's way out and resort to lying. "Oh Honey, I have to work late tonight, so don't wait up for me." When he gets home he prays that she's asleep as he knows that he'll wilt under her withering stare and ruthless interrogation. And yet if you ask him, he'll say that he's the 'man of the house.'

But why are men p..whipped? Why do they allow themselves over time, to lose the mantle of the alpha male, the dominant force in the family, the leader of the pack, the decision maker? Worse now that many women are earning more than their men, they're whipped even more.

Well, it all starts and ends with sex, at least that's my theory. I have observed countless men and how they are treated by their wives, and it all boils down to sex, how often the men get it, when he gets it and if he gets it. She dictates, and he waits on prays that she isn't too tired tonight or doesn't have a headache. The poor man is so uncertain of his promised pleasures, that he'll do anything to be on her good side. He knows that if he annoys her for any reason, then it's no sex for him. Hence the term p.whipped. Whipped into submission by the power of the P.

So many husbands have told me this, "Listen, I better keep her in a good mood, for when she vex or upset she lock shop for all six weeks." So for a peaceful life, ie, a life full of P, he'll put up with all her moods, do anything that she demands, all for the promise of the P. It's like holding a carrot before a donkey, only this time it's the lack of ass that leads the jackass.

I have done my research, I have done my homework, and the statistics back me up. Who sleeps on the couch more, who is denied sex more, who is nagged more, who has to rush home more, who is pushed to go and ask the boss for a raise more, who is emasculated? If you can identify with all these, then you are p..whipped, so just put on your apron, go do the dishes and stop the damn bawling. More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Being p.whipped is one thing, but the fact is, women are basically stronger than men, so it's not so hard for them to dominate. This was brought out in the play, Strength of a Woman, that I saw last week. It showed the power and fortitude of women as they had to survive in a harsh man's world.

As one said, 'You just have to do what you have to do to get by." Women have been often vilified for using various means to survive, but in reality it's using their strength that makes them overcome so many obstacles. Strength of a woman is not only funny as heck, but it also makes you think.

One sore point though, was these patrons who kept answering their cell phones at various intervals during the play. Same thing Sharon Leach wrote about last Sunday. They should be asked to leave and refunded their money.

Trousers in Denim

Cream of the 'Crop'

Cheeky's World