Will you rent our ancient love asunder,
To join with men in scorning your poor friend..?
Our sex, as well as I, may chide you for it,
Though I alone do feel the injury.
- Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream 111,2

Injuries come in various forms, with many being physical, some great, others minor like a sprained toe, but the more serious injuries are usually of the emotional kind, and in most cases occur between couples. In many cases it's because people create ideals in their minds, and when the other party fails to live up to those lofty standards, then they feel disappointed, emotionally crushed, hurt and injured.

More often than not it's women who create these standards and men always seem to fall short. "Every woman loves two men, one in the creation of her imagination, and the other is not yet born," so said poet Khaleel Gibran. It's also said that "Some women try so hard to make good husbands, they forget to be good wives."

I must thank my good friend Charles Lewin for providing me with those two sayings, which corroborate and vindicate my article last week, which addressed the scenario of women living in constant hope. But apart from those ideals, real or imagined, there are certain injuries that can occur if the woman does happen to land a man and decides to consummate the relationship.

"And they lived happily ever after," only occurs in fairy tales, as not once in any fairy tale was there any mention of sex, yes, sex, which now comes into play and puts a whole new spin on everything, plus brings new dangers and perils that were not there before. For some, sex is only for procreation, to have children, to wit, go forth and multiply, have out your lot, spread your seed over the land and such. That was usually the mantra of those steeped in religion.

But I'm happy to see that a pastor in the USA actually encouraged his flock, the married ones of course, to spend more time in bed having sex, as it would bring them closer together. But sex outside of those boundaries can cause serious injury, both physically and emotionally, as medical records have shown. There is sex born out of sheer carnal lust, with no intent to procreate, although that can be a side effect as an unwanted pregnancy, ergo, one huge injury. People satisfy their carnal desires for each other, indulging in pleasures of the flesh, and Lord it can be sweet, but still, there is danger of serious injury.

Now, I'm beginning to sound like a fire and brimstone preacher, but I'm merely making a point, not judging nor casting any stones, and I will leave no stone unturned. Sex has power, some wield it and others succumb to it, with one party having this awesome power over the other while the other becomes a slave. You have heard the term 'sex slave'. If it's the man, it's daggering, which is the new dance craze nowadays, where the man assimilates sex, wielding his sword like a Samurai, subjugating the woman, driving her into the ground. If it's the woman wielding this power, she uses her sexuality like bait, or reward, offering the man if and when she feels like, and he rises to it, takes it and is snared once again. See how much injury sex can cause?

Okay, so having painted that picture of the various types of sex, let's get to the real dangers, the injuries that people would rather not hear about, but are best advised to be aware of. So many so-called educated people are so ignorant of the dangers and injuries that sex can cause that it is alarming. They focus so much on the pleasures and are either oblivious or ignorant of the pain and injury that those few minutes can bring. From I was a young boy I used to hear about things that could be caused from having sex, and I was mindful ever since. Illnesses like gonorrhoea, syphilis were the consequences that we were always reminded of, and even then we took heed.

But those could be termed as minor injuries compared to what's floating around now, as HIV/AIDS is the monster of all consequences and has put a whole new spin on the matter. The Ministry of Health HIV/AIDS Education Unit has been trying for years to educate people via various campaigns about the dangers and injuries that careless sex can bring, but still some folks either refuse to heed the warnings or prefer to bury their heads in the sand like ostriches and think that it can't happen to them.

"Cho, me allright man, me clean, dem ting can't catch me," or, "All a girl like she, pretty like money, criss like biscuit, come from good family, she can't have dem ting deh, I will take a chance with her." Education about these injuries is key, and I mean education for all. Currently I have the privilege of working on three campaigns dealing with prevention of injuries and illnesses caused by sex. Two are geared towards teenagers and young adults about proper condom use, while the third focuses on a sector of society that is often overlooked, the disabled.

Yes, young people who are blind, deaf/mute, retarded, suffer from Down's Syndrome, mentally or physically challenged, also have sexual feelings and desires. I bet that you hardly even gave that a thought. Well, they too are susceptible to the risks and injuries that sex can bring, and happily there is a campaign to educate and sensitise them to dangers, and ways to prevent these dangers.

Predatory men lurk everywhere, and even a young girl who is mentally retarded is not safe from these beasts. She therefore has to be taught about what can occur as a result of sex, and how to deal with men who approach her.

Apart from that, she too will have sexual urges towards her peers, so she has to be taught what to do, if and when she decides to take that big step. A young man with Down's Syndrome also has sexual urges, and is taught the proper use of the condom, to avoid the risk and subsequent injury that sex may bring. And not because people are blind or deaf/mute or confined to a wheelchair means that they have no sexual urges.

But the greatest peril lies in society itself, where ignorance causes the most injury - physical and emotional. Imagine this, after young disabled people are educated about the proper use of the condom in order to protect themselves, they are then rudely awakened to the cold, harsh reality of stupidity and ignorance of shopkeepers refusing to sell them condoms, saying, "Go away, you are deaf and dumb, what yu want with condom?" This has happened with blind people too, or those who are mentally retarded. Now isn't that the greatest injury of all?

Another aspect is the parents of these young disabled people, who being loving and protective, often create further problems for their special children, not thinking that they will have a need to grow up, be independent, and have sexual urges. "I thought that because he was retarded he would be living with me for the rest of his life and not have any desire for sex," parents have been known to say. That's why there is more discussion now about the rights of special people, for they do have rights, and the biggest injury is to deny them these rights.

Having a hysterectomy done or sterilising a mentally disabled person without their knowledge or consent, to avoid the risk of pregnancy, is a violation of their human rights. I must commend the Ministry of Health, Unicef, UNFPA and other agencies, plus the countless counsellors who dedicate their lives to educating these special people about sexuality and its inherent dangers, the perils, risk and injury that can occur through careless behaviour. Their task is a daunting one and made even more difficult by the so-called 'normal' people who are disabled by the mantle of ignorance, stupidity and apathy. They don't know and couldn't care less.

We are bombarded by sex; it's in our music, it blasts on the buses, it permeates the eardrums and consciousness of our young until it becomes no big thing to them. In my youth I wasn't half as aware of sexual practice as the kids in first form or even prep and primary school nowadays. I don't care what the pseudo-intellectuals are spouting, lewd lyrics and violent themes do influence young minds, which eventually become sexually injured. Now we have 12 year-old- boys, and girls even younger, deeply involved in sex, with the result being physical and emotional sexual injury.

Listen, I'm not preaching here, for sex is perhaps the greatest gift given to man and woman, but not for kids who've not yet reached puberty. Those are the injured generation. Just read the advice columns and you'll get a glimpse of the injuries caused by wanton sexuality among our youth. When a girl of 16 can write that she has had sex with dozens of men, it boggles the mind, for she is injured for life. When men in their 50s can seduce and impregnate girls in second or third form it adds injury to the insult of their recklessness. Then there is the emotional injury caused by cheating and philandering, the broken homes and shattered lives, all because of illicit sex.

Hey, sex is great, and indulge if you must, but be responsible and don't injure yourself or injure anyone else. Be responsible.
More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

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