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Cougar
Daddy Oh
With Tony Robinson
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Demetrious : I'll run from thee and
hide me in the brakes,
And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts.
Helena: The wildest hath not such a heart as you.
Shakespeare, A midsummer Night's Dream, II, 1
One of the wildest of beasts is the cougar, puma, or mountain lion as it's called in North America, and interestingly, that's the name given to a woman who goes after young men. And no, it was not I who coined the phrase. Life imitates art, they say, and art imitates life too, for who knows which came first, the chicken or the egg. Well, Aston Cooke's play, Me and mi Chapsie takes a long hard look at the cougar, the older woman, brilliantly played by Dahlia Harris, who conquers her prey, the younger man, played by comic genius, Everaldo Creary. I really thought that I had covered all aspects of this older woman-younger man scenario, but I must confess, I learnt a thing or two from that play. But before we enter the cougar's lair, here's some feedback.
Teerob,
I must say that you wrote a very interesting article regarding telltale signals in cheating women. I think that it's important to take into consideration that some men do see the signals early. However, I think that they nonetheless give these cheating women enough rope to hang themselves. One of the approaches is not to attack the woman outright about her actions, but instead, to do as Robert Frost said in his poem, Taking The Road Less Travelled. When you use that approach, there is no doubt she will own up to her action.
K Williams, NYC
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Tony,
One major sign that you didn't mention is that the sex becomes very limited. The cheating wife will create every possible excuse in the book to avoid having sex with her husband. Women may be better cheaters, but that is somehow overrated. Because women are very emotional creatures, therefore they have set patterns. They get away with their cheating ways because most men don't know the signs or don't pay much attention to their little angels, and are a bit trusting. Open your eyes, no man is safe.
Bambu
Tony,
Spot on! If I may say so myself as a woman.but we have only learnt from the best in the game.men.
TP
Teerob,
OMG, Tony, you buss pon we!!! I normally share interesting articles with my hubby, but I'm definitely not forwarding this one!!!Hahahaaaa!
Freespirit
So now to the cougars, the female of the species, deadlier than the male. In the play Me and me Chapsie, I learnt that chapsie is the name given to the young man who is the property of the older woman, the cougar, and one very poignant line went, "Older women are like wild animals." Now thank heaven that I did not originate that, or you'd certainly get on my case, but remember, life does imitate art, and what you see on stage is also what you see next door.
The feeling is older women who pursue younger men have the predatory instincts and hunger of a wild animal. But why, why would a mature, middle-aged, pre-menopausal older woman go after a mere snippet of a boy, a mere cub? Because all cougars tame their cubs, and these young boys are there to be tamed. So is it a control issue, are these women looking for pets to own, seeking emotional slaves they can trap, shackle and bind to their bedposts with the promise of financial and material reward? That does happen, for to be a cougar, you have to be a woman of means, own two shillings, as they say, live well, and can provide for the chapsie when you get him. "Come chapsie, see my car here, come drive it, come chapsie, see me house here, come move in, come boy, here's some money, go spend it.that's a good boy." Cougar on the prowl, and sure, there are many licky-licky chapsies around, salivating and willing to lap up the goodies of the cougar.
But all cougars aren't necessarily born that way, but acquire these predatory skills through years of being battered in the emotional jungle of relationships. Just like when men who go to prison come out battle-hardened and tougher, many cougars get that way because of numerous skirmishes in their lives. Some were used, abused and then left by cruel men, and their hearts were broken so often that not even our leading cardiologists could mend them.
So fuelled by despair, spurred on by anger, inspired by rage, and hell-bent on not being hurt again by any man near her age, she goes for fresh meat, a pup, someone whom she can control. And he has to be young, for as another line from the play went, "Both of our ages must not add up to 100." Ouch! Some cougars, although aggressive, are not spurred on to become animals because of anger, but merely because of loneliness.
Having spent the last 10 years all alone after her husband left, the corporate executive is now in need of other company than the one that she works for. She's on the dark side of 50, and the reality is, no man her age wants her, as they're all out chasing young girls anyway. Yes, there is that ugly rumour going around. So her only option is to go after a much younger lad. "After all, is pure young boy calling to me anyway, so might as well give one of them a chance," one cougar expressed. So she snares one, and her life changes dramatically. Suddenly she has regained her youth, starts to feel sensations that she long thought were dead and gone, begins to tingle where nerves had gone to sleep, feels alive again. "I am woman, hear me scream, I am cougar, hear me roar." Volcanologists say that the most violent eruptions are usually from volcanoes that have been dormant for hundreds of years, then burst their cork, blow their caps. buss out. It's cataclysmic, it's stupendous, it's extraordinary, and that's what cougars feel when wrapped in the throes of passion with their young studs.
Oh yes, being a chapsie comes with a price, for the cougar's appetite is insatiable, and he has to be able to handle the work, satisfy her completely. After all, if she wanted a dud, she'd simply be with an old man, right? As the chapsie says, "It's called customer appreciation, and the more she appreciates me, is the more things that I get." But there's a down side too, as all is not perfect in the lair of the cougar. Some of these young conquests are bright, intelligent chaps, and are not bereft of emotions and feelings. Some may want a little more from the cougars apart from material stuff, and wish to be treated as an equal, on the same playing field, and not to be treated as a social experiment, as some cougars refer to them. But even as liberated as some cougars are, there is still some element of trepidation and shame, as social mores dictate certain behaviour.
The cougar can't very well be escorted to her company's ball by her chapsie who is young enough to be her son. Oh no, the 'Vice-President of Marketing' cannot go to the Christmas party with the lad just out of high school. What will her co-workers think, not to mention the board of directors? And the argument about men doing the same thing for years doesn't wash either, as the words from the song resonate, "Girls, you can't do what the guys do and still be a lady." Plus, if she's bold enough to pull it off, walk into the ballroom with her cub in tow, can you imagine the stares when the disparity in their dress code is highlighted? There she is in her gown, and bringing up the rear is the manboy, the chapsie in his white pants, waist dropped way down of course, white shoes, pink ruffled shirt, red jacket, silver chain, ganja-leaf belt buckle and kangol hat.the uniform of bling.
She begs him to keep his mouth shut, or it's, "Yow, whey de big man dey, is de boss dat?" Then if they dance, it's daggering meets disco. Okay, so that may seem a tad extreme, but truth be told, many cougars treat their charges like social pariahs, and take them nowhere, preferring the confines of the house, maybe a late movie or dinner at some obscure out of the way restaurant, and occasionally may allow him to drive her car.at night. "Say what, police stop you again and ask your age, want to know if is your mother's car?" Yes, cougars do have a price to pay. You'd be surprised who cougars are too, for like all cats, they have the gift of stealth. But they exist and their numbers are growing.
Just read the advice columns and you'll see older wives seeking advice on how to deal with young boys, or women torn between the stability of an older man or the zest of youth.cougars all. Perhaps these women just became tired of sacrificing their lives for men. "There are women who stand in doorways their entire life. They cook, clean, bring up children, cry out to God from the narrow space that separates them from the world of runaway men." From Tanya Shirley's book, She Who Sleeps With Bones. No wonder some women become cougars, they just got tired of sacrificing so much. More time.
seido1@hotmail.com
Footnote: Well, the whirlwind is here, having sown the wind, as the violence in schools has exploded, getting everyone's attention. But I'm not surprised, for when they reduced levels of punishment, stripped the teachers and schools of authority, have parents marching to schools and abusing teachers, giving pupils more power than they deserve.well, what did you expect?! The tsunami of indiscipline and lawlessness is upon us, and now many are running up and down in despair. I saw it coming, and it is here. And these are so called children. If you saw the movie or read the book Lord of the Flies, you'd understand. There, normal children marooned on an island turned savages after a while. It's their nature if not disciplined and supervised. It's the nature of the beast, and beasts some of them are.
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