Mark: In my lifetime I have come across people with all sorts of hang-ups. Three hang-ups stand out: religious, political and sexual. People with sexual hang-ups are usually those fastidious types who consider sex so sacred and holy that it should not even be spoken of.

While I believe that is sacred and special, I also think that an open attitude towards it is healthy, not just for intimacy but for life. Sex is mind blowing, fun, and it connects us but guess what - sex can also be quite comical. We should laugh about it.

Chupski: I, too, find sex to be a laughing matter but mostly when it is being spoken about. I find it funny how some people refer to their sex organs as if they can speak back, for example, a woman saying to her partner's penis, 'Hey big boy, want some?' I also find it funny how people who have children use codes to speak about sexual matters which a young child can never understand. Sex would become boring if people did not invent these comical terms. To think that good sex can make someone drool is also quite funny.

Mark: What can be real hilarious is a man with a big gut trying to suck it in while approaching his partner in the bedroom, a woman afraid to remove her bra because of what she sees as some imperfection there. If there was a fly on the wall and that fly could talk, we would probably not ever have sex again. Sex, lots of it, with the right person, opens up the communication routes. It gives one a more healthy skin tone and one ages better. And, just for the record, I do not drool.

Chupski: Who said anything about YOU drooling. If only that fly could talk it would scandal all the dainty little ladies who pretend they have never had sex. Then we would hear about the ones who fell off the bed while going at it. Sex brings so much happiness and can serve as a replacement to many addictions. It keeps people out of trouble and bedroom activities can swing a person out of a very bad mood. Lack of sex can also cause people to say and do negative things.

Mark: Men who get some in the mornings perform better at work. A miserable man at work probably meant that he and the missus had an early morning disagreement or, her sexual clock was running slow that day. When we were young schoolchildren, we giggled during attempts by our schoolteachers to introduce us to sex education. As adults we must learn to laugh at ourselves. Sex presents us with that comedy show. All that huffing and puffing, oohs and aahs or, the very lack of them. And then, the drooling.

Chupski:. Really though, I always laugh at the thought of two old people trying to have some and the man begging his thing to work for him - real joke.
Mark: A few days ago, early one morning, I was feeling extra amorous as usual. I started to cuddle up real close to you trying to get you awake. At just about that same time, the rooster next door started to crow. I began laughing at 4:00 in the morning. Suddenly you turned to me and said, "Honey, what is it." Then just as suddenly, you fell back asleep, leaving me somewhat frustrated, but still laughing. The rooster crowing, me. ah, damn funny.

Chupski: If you ask me, I would not know what that was about. Anyway people keep having sex and keep laughing about it, or, rolling over and going to sleep.

Mark: Sure you wouldn't know anything about that. The rooster crowing, me. am. cuddling. Get it. Now you are tricking me. Old folks who are now into doting on their grandchildren and great grandchildren will tell you quite a number of secrets if you allow them to allow you into their lives. One old woman in her 80s who always had a ready smile once told me, "When mi did young, mi did wassy yu si. De man dem always a run mi dung." Then she laughed. She knew of the connection.

Each week columnist Mark Wignall and girlfriend, Sharna Lynch - 30 years his junior - share their views on relationship issues. E-mail feedback to mclymonti@jamaicaobserver.com or checkdis@hotmail.

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